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Had myself a kangaroo cry

gringa78gringa78
in Preemies

Thank goodness for the privacy curtain in the NICU rooms.  It has been one of those weeks  - one day good news, the next day some sort of issue.  Overall the girls are doing really well, but after a week of reflux-related desats/bradys, a heart murmur, and failed bottle feedings, I just held one of the twins and cried my eyes out during kangaroo time.  I just felt so exhausted and sad.  I hate leaving my babies every day and I hate pumping...I hate hearing the freaking beep-beep-beep when they desat...I just kind of hit a wall after being on autopilot for 2 weeks.

Ugh.  Thanks for letting me vent.

PCOS, lupus anticoagulant, MTHFR (A1298C, one copy) 2 IUIs & 1 IVF = BFN FET#1 = It's a girl! Born 7.1.10 FET#2 = c/p FET#3 = Twin girls! Born on 3.16.12 at 33w2d due to severe pre-E. After 4 weeks in the NICU they are home! Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
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Re: Had myself a kangaroo cry

  • jennifer1wjennifer1w
    I am sorry you had a rough day. Hang in there. *hugs* Hope they are home with you soon.
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  • sbphotossbphotos member

    I hear ya. Big time. Stupid roller coaster. Stupid pump. And those darn beeps...I swear I get whiplash from looking at the monitor every time I hear them. 

    Big ol hug for you.  I hope tomorrow is a better day. 

    Me: 39 DH: 35 - TTC #1 since October 2010
    BFP #1 2-1-11 Missed Miscarriage 3-14-11(9 wks)-D&C
    BFP #2 9-17-11 EDD 5-29-12
    Edward James born 3-14-12 weighing 1lb11oz at 29w1d via c section due to low fluid and growth restriction from crappy placenta.
    My BFP Chart
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  • GatorNurseGatorNurse
    I did that too many times to count. Hang in there Mama! 
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  • adrielegorburuadrielegorburu member
    Im sure we all have been there more than a few times - hang in there!
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  • ashk7ashk7 member
    I am so sorry you had rough day, those days are the worst!!!! One of the babies in our room got to go home the other day. It was the first time I saw a baby getting discharged. She was born after our DD and went home in like a week, I was absolutely thrilled for her mom and family, and every situation is different i know that. But after I gave them hugs and wished them the best of luck, I did the same thing!!!!!!! I like to tell myself that's part of the reason you have those curtains!!!! Head up, and hoping for many more good days to come for you and your girls!!!!!
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  • gringa78gringa78
    Thanks so much girls.  I appreciate it more than you know.
    PCOS, lupus anticoagulant, MTHFR (A1298C, one copy) 2 IUIs & 1 IVF = BFN FET#1 = It's a girl! Born 7.1.10 FET#2 = c/p FET#3 = Twin girls! Born on 3.16.12 at 33w2d due to severe pre-E. After 4 weeks in the NICU they are home! Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • daphne814daphne814 member
    I'm with you 100%.  We are at the 2 week mark as well, and it's just such a crazy roller coaster.  I can relate to every feeling and emotion you described.  This is such a scary time.  I'm just trying to stay focused on that day we can finally bring our LO home.  Somehow thinking about that makes me feel a little better, but it doesn't mean I don't break down and cry at least once a day.  Big hugs, mama.

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  • allieatlantaallieatlanta member
    I'm sorry :( The two week mark was about when I hit a wall and thought I couldn't take it anymore either. Hang in there!!
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  • sweetsugarmamasweetsugarmama

    I'm so sorry you're having a rough time but I'm also really glad you posted this. Last night I had my first cry over any of this. I guess that's how long it takes for reality to hit me (they were 8 days). It was 11:30 at night when it hit, so I couldn't go see them (DH would have had to drive me and we'd have to wake up dd). It's not nice that you're feeling crappy but it's nice to know we're not alone.

    ((big hugs)) 

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