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lurker intro and ? (long)

mandyjn16mandyjn16
in Attachment Parenting

Hey Ladies,

I guess I am technically a lurker although I have posted a few times on here. I haven't posted much since I am still learning about intentional AP.

I have a DS who is on his way to 3. When he was born, I didn't know much if anything about AP, but mostly parented from instinct which turned out to be somewhat AP. We BF for 21mos until I decided one day I was done. A week later I found out I was pg with DD. Knowing more about AP, I am trying to be more intentionally AP with DD from the beginning and incorpoate more AP principles with DS. I have been wearing her, plan to do extended BF again (hopefully til 2), BLW and positive discipline. We don't co-sleep because that is what works best for us all.

My question is about DD. I think she has hit the 4 month wakeful period. I don't remember DS ever hitting this stage so this is new for me. Normally, when she wakes hungry, she cries and I am quick to go in and nurse her.  She will eat and fall quickly back to sleep as she nurses. In the last 2-3 weeks, she has been waking up at least once (sometimes 2x) just talking and shrieking (with delight at the sound of her own voice) in addition to the 1-2x she wakes just to eat. In the beginning, I would quickly go in and nurse her, but she wouldn't fall asleep. She just wants to be awake and talk. I want to be super responsive to her, but at 3am or 4am, I need to sleep not play. I have found if I let her talk for awhile and wait until she begins to fuss to go in to nurse, she will usually eat and go back to sleep. My question (for those of you who made it this far) is it bad for me to wait until she fusses? I sort of figure that if she is not distressed then she is fine without me and I always come as soon as she starts fussing. I realize I may be overthinking this, but I struggle with knowing she will never get the same experience my DS had as a baby since she is a second child. I guess I just need some reassurance that I am not doing some damage by not attending to her the moment she wakes.

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Re: lurker intro and ? (long)

  • AB25840AB25840
    In my opinion if she is awake but seems happy and just talking to her self its fine to wait until she gets fussy.
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  • jcsumm0jcsumm0 member
    IMO, that is totally fine, and I have done it myself.  She'll let you know if she needs you, and I think it helps discourage the night wakings to play if she doesn't get your attention with it.
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  • mandyjn16mandyjn16
    Thanks Ladies! I "know" that in my head, but the mom guilt gets me sometimes and makes me question my choices.
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