WWYD - Int'l Mamas

srmmm09 · April 2012

DH and I are in the process of adopting from Uganda. We are about to have our homestudy wrapped up, but we just got an email from our agency saying that Uganda has changed its policies.

They're now typically taking longer in-country (I think our agency said average about 37 days). We could go in two trips, but there is likely only about 10 days between the first court date and the next. And that makes traveling that much more expensive.

The biggie is now they're going to require an update on the child every 6 months until s/he's 18, and they want for us to appear at the Ugandan courts every 5 years (we don't need a court date; we just have to show up at the registrar in Kampala). This is on top of our 4 post-placement visits (which were three previously).

The updates don't seem that overwhelming to me (I mean, I'd rather not, but you know, it's not that big of a deal). But traveling to Uganda every 5 years, just to show up, and then turn around and leave? 3 plane tickets to Uganda three more times? I just don't know if we can afford that.

Uganda's not a party to the Hague Convention, so I think (think?) we can change countries, but we'll lose $1,500, which is a significant amount.

I know you have to expect things to change and be generally flexible with international adoption, and I want for the Ugandan authorities to see that our child is thriving, but DH is completely overwhelmed at the expense (our combined household income is what a teacher starts out making in our school district). I myself am not sure if that's even possible for our family in the future. What will our other children think of us spending several thousand dollars on one child and not on them?

Blerg! What would you do?

jillianmb · April 2012

We are adopting from Russia and the travel changed from 2 trips to 3 a few months ago- it hasn't deterred us but it was disappointing. So, like you, the in-country time wouldn't stop me, but honestly I think the mandate to return to Uganda every 5 years would. That's a lot of money and adoption is so expensive already.

$1,500 is significant but in the scheme of your life it's not that big of a deal. I would probably switch countries.

Sorry you have to deal with this stress!

Mrs.Slick · April 2012

We're not that deep into the process but if we weren't absolutely set on adopting from that specific country, we'd likely change. Eating the $1500 would be tough but spending the money on trips back would be more expensive in the long run and who knows where you'll be in life at that point. GL with whatever you decide!

CaptainSerious · April 2012

Wow. I thought our postplacement requirements were a lot (a postplacement visit/report every 6 months for four years, in addition to all NJ and NC state requirements).

First, I would find out if the changes are effective immediately, or if there is some way you might be grandfathered in under the old requirements. If not, I would at least consider changing programs. Have you always been set on Uganda? Why did you choose there? Are there similar programs?

The thing that makes me balk is the return trips (assuming the other updates are something you can do yourself). But even the regular updates are a lot to commit to, if you think that you might find yourself in pressing situations when an update is due and might not always be ale to comply.

Generally, I always tell people that it is of the utmost importance for the continuance of adoption programs to fully comply with all postplacement agreements and that is is necessary to maintain goodwill and respect so that other families in the process are not penalized (by not getting referrals) for the actions of those who have already adopted, but in this case, I'm forced to wonder, what would happen if you adopted under these new rules and then failed to comply? Is your adoption fully legal before you return home (I know in some countries that's not the case)? Could they do anything to jeopardize your family?

I am not advocating adopting from Uganda and ignoring their postplacement requirements, just wondering what would happen if, for some reason, you couldn't return as required. As far as your actions hurting the program, I wouldn't worry to much, because by requiring such onerous reports and visits will surely deter many, if not most, Americans from adopting from there anyway.

It's such a shame, really, because most of us do want to keep them informed (heck, we e- mail and call my sons' orphanage regularly just for kicks), but no one likes to feel controlled, beholden, or in other ways restricted by someone else, least of all a foreign government.

srmmm09 · April 2012

Well, we chose Uganda for a number of reasons. We're under 30, and that rules out a good number of countries. We also want to adopt a child younger than DS. We're not in a rush, so we don't like NEED a baby or something, but we are asking for a child under 2. So that narrows down countries.

We also have a number of African friends, (though none from Uganda specifically), so we thought we would be in a better position to help our child know more of what it's like to be African than maybe other parts of the world.

Also, the costs being on the smaller side was also a draw. Then I got a video from a virtual "friend" about the babies' home that our agency works with, and that kind of sold me. It's small and they really do care about the children.

But it's not like DH and I have a special connection to Uganda. At the same time, I've been imagining our child with a little Ugandan face for six months now... It already feels disloyal. DH doesn't feel that way, but he's not that type of person to be hoping and daydreaming and such.

I'm wondering if this new language they're requiring is honestly just the judge that's over our area of Kampala. Things there are very disorganized, or at least not at all streamlined. I can hope that the situation will be different by the time we travel, but it's not like we can plan on it.

CaptainSerious · April 2012

srmmm09:
At the same time, I've been imagining our child with a little Ugandan face for six months now... It already feels disloyal. DH doesn't feel that way, but he's not that type of person to be hoping and daydreaming and such.

I TOTALLY get this. I can't tell you how often in our first adoption process someone said to me, "why don't you just forget Peru and adopt from somewhere else?" They didn't get that we were committed to that program, country, and their kids.

Only you and your husband will know what's right for you. Whatever you decide, I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work. That's what we do once we've found our path. Gold luck!

srmmm09 · April 2012

Thanks, all! DH is wanting time to let it sink in before we start even talking about decisions. I, on the other hand, need to know what we're going to do RIGHT. NOW.

It's a good thing we married each other. We both need a bit of balance.

GLynn2009 · April 2012

I would ask more questions about the requirements. 18 years is a lot of updates... do you have to have a case worker do your updates? If so what is the cost for these for 18 years?

I was ready to say stick it out and try to figure it out until you got to the 18 years of updates and travel back every 5 years. You do not know what the future hold and those are pretty big promises. YOu need lots more info.......

I sent updates and picture to our SW just because I want to but if I had to pay for SW to come to our house and do officals ones that would be a huge pain. Our updates cost us $250 each......

Jenn is Silly · April 2012

That is so crazy! I know many countries start to change their requirements as they move towards keeping adoptions in country, but Uganda is no where near ready to support all the children in their country!

I agree with PP- if you feel called to adopt from Uganda, then I'd ask questions regarding the new requirements and how they'll apply in upcoming years, etc.

Best of luck! I'll be praying for the Children of Uganda- I can certainly see these requirements deterring APs from that countries program

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