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Update on our situation

PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member
in Blended Families

Saturday BM and I hung out together for a while at football.  She only came for the last 15 mins but all was good.  After the game she and I stayed and talked to the other parents and kids.

Yesterday eve DH called me to say his mom was doing dinner and there was cake for his 2 year old nieces bday.  I was on my way home, so passing BM house, and I called her to ask if I could collect SS for a few hours and take him with me.  She said sure, no prob, anytime. 

She did make a comment about DH...  I told her I just found out about the dinner and she replied 'let me guess HE forgot to tell you'  I just ignored it and said 'great see you in a few mins'.

SS is going to be in a play the first weekend in May.  They are looking for parents to help out.  BM asked me if I was interested in putting my name down for one of the days.  I'm not really but I told her I'd think about it.

So all good with BM and I.

On the other hand all contact between BM and DH has completely ceased.  Anything either of them need to know they come to me. 

We were in this position before and I decided to disengage (after BM was rude to me).  That was a disaster and SS even started to get in trouble at school and act out.

So here we are again, BM and I co parent great and DH and I parent great together.

The issue I have with all of this, and I can already see it happening, is that they are both happy to hand over parenting time and obligations to me.  Now in fairness to BM she does most of everything as we only have SS every weekends BUT for the past couple weeks I have taken SS on a least one of her parenting nights.

So this time I will not disengage as it really does not work for us (it did not force them to pull together, every thing we had set up or built up fell to sh!t and SS was the one to suffer) BUT I will have to learn to say no to both of them. 

The problem is even though they both want me to be a 'parent' I don't see myself as one.  I tend to default to them on everything and kinda do what I'm asked / told.  Hence the reason they both get on so well with me!

::sigh:::  Its never just straight forward lol

Ps things are really good at home with Dh and I, also things are fine with BM.  SS is really happy and so forth.  I just predict that things will go back to exactly how they were before.

 

 

 

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Re: Update on our situation

  • MarSamWhitneyMarSamWhitney member

    I know what you mean about sort of being the middle person, and everything runs smoothly.  At one point, BM was rude to me as well and I told H I was done- he had to handle everything.  Needless to say, it was horrible on everyone, and  SS was miserable, finally asking if his parents could stop fighting?! Horrible to hear that out of a kids mouth.

    I also agree that when things go smooth for too long, I just wonder when the next explosion will be. lol.  I hope everything stays quiet for you!



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  • Karma1969Karma1969 member
    This is eaither really good or really bad.  I hope it turns out to be the first one.
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