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Blended Families
TheBuddha
member
My birthson who came before I was ready. He doesn't call me mom but I love him just the same. ~7/10/99~
Not really BFR: being wasteful
TheBuddha
member
I wanted to ask this here because many of you have kids the same age as my SS.
SS is 8 years old and came to live with us last January. He is a really good kid with some issues with lying (his mother is a complusive liar so he has been lied to by her his whole life) and he is very passive. He is definitely becoming more passionate about things (he loves baseball, riding his bike and tacos apparently!) and we are working on the lying.
Anyway, I asked him if he needed anything from the store and he ran up to his bathroom to check his supplies. He informed me that he needed more zyrtec and toothpaste. He asked if I could buy him adult toothpaste (he has been using kids toothpaste that is blue and sticky and gross) and I said "no problem".
Last night he informed me that used his toothpaste for the first time and he really likes it. Ok, good, I'm so glad. I asked if he used up the other one first and he said yes. I found it in the garbage this morning and it is still half-full.
This may seem trivial, but he was dishonest. I really dislike the kids toothpaste, he gets it everywhere and it is soooo sticky. But he threw it away and told me it was empty. Do I let it go because I don't like it anyway....or do I push this issue of being wasteful and lying to me about it?
My birthson who came before I was ready. He doesn't call me mom but I love him just the same. ~7/10/99~This discussion has been closed.
Re: Not really BFR: being wasteful
Since the other one was awful I would bring it up but not punish him. I would let him know I found the container and that if he disliked it that much he should have just said so. (I wouldn't make him finish it if he hated to use it)
EDIT I guess I know the feeling. If I were to buy a new toothpaste and discover that it was horrible I would not continue to use it either. I feel it is worth mentioning so he knows he didn't get away with it but I wouldn't bother with a punishment.
Thanks for the advice. I was thinking the same thing. But I am new at this and don't know what I'm doing!!
I actually asked DH to handle it. SS lied to his face too! He told DH that the other paste was all gone. Then DH produced the half full tube. DH said SS wouldn't even look at him.
Anyway, DH took away youtube for a week because he was really crabby that he lied to both of us. He sent him downstairs to apologize to me for lying (the look on SS's face broke my heart) and then told him don't waste your lies on toothpaste...it is not worth lying about. We'll see what happens next time.....
I just don't want him to end up like his mother. She lies about EVERYTHING. It is awful.
I think you handled it well. We've been dealing with lying quite a bit as well and read up on some techniques for nipping it in the bud. We've had a few conversations about why its important to be honest and how we expect honesty from everyone in the family. We've also tried to get after why they lie (to get out of consequences, to get attention, etc.) and tried to address that.
Its a tough one to battle, but I think you and DH handled it well.
You handled it well. Hopefully this lying is just a stage for his age group and not something he thinks is normal from BM.
I must be so weird about wasting because I will use a toothpaste I don't care for (unless it is a cleaning of the teeth issue) and just not buy it again. We use it up and don't purchase it anymore. Waste really gets under my skin. I feel like I am outside just throwing money in the rain.