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April 2012 Moms
WildcatPrincess
member
I think my daughter hates me
WildcatPrincess
member
Go figure she loves her brother, but I think she's mad at me. I haven't been able to pick her up between the pain of engorgement and the injection site on my arm where I was vaccinated so I was still doing bedtime routine, but DH would put her in the crib. Now she won't even sit on my lap to read and screams "Daddy rock" then tells me bye bye. She has always been a mama's girl so that coupled with the postpartum hormones is bumming me out. I'm also a little resentful because I've played with her way more than DH has since coming home and have been a lot more patient with her and he's getting all my snuggles. Rude.
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Re: I think my daughter hates me
Aww my heart is breaking for you. Hopefully she will come around. If I was in your shoes I would tell her how much I miss her and picking her up. Every time she went to dad I would get upset too.
She may not be mad, but just wanting daddy more, especially if you've been playing with her more than your H. We only have one (for the next month or so), and she would go through this at times, esp. around your DD's age. Sometimes she just needs or seems to prefer one parent over the other. I usually see that as either not wanting to change routines or feeling a need to spend more time with that parent.
She'll adjust, don't worry. And I'm sorry to say, it might happen from time to time, but it's not because she doesn't like you. It's just because she loves you both.
It took about a week for DS to stop being mad at me, he still occassionally gets mad when I'm nursing her or getting some snuggles in. I had her on a Monday night and I didn't get to explain to him I wasn't coming home that night. He didn't want anything to do with me until that Friday and DH stated that all DS did at bedtime and in the morning was sit in the hallway and cry. The one night he cried until 12:30 am. He just wouldn't stop crying. It broke my heart. He did snuggle with me when DD was under the bili lights but if they came in while I was feeding or holding her he wouldn't come near me unless I gave him a banana or cookie from my previous meal. Talk about bribing him. He was super excited for me to come home on Sunday but saw she was coming with us. At least under the lights, he was safe from her.
That Monday (one week PP) he came up to me while holding her and petted her like he did with my preggo belly. He then lifted up my shirt and petted my belly and I explained that she was the baby in my belly. Then he got curious and lifted up my shirt further and played with my bra. I figured I would let him be curious since he sees her eat. Heck he was BF'd too. He just turned two, he's not going to be scarred yet, it's not like he saw nipple or anything. He also handed her paci and her blanket to me when she was crying without being asked. He finally let me snuggle with him this past weekend of course after he drove a car on DD's back. I told her she's officially one of the pack now. We are still transitioning and hopefully he'll come around sooner than later. I should say he was the first one besides DH and I to meet her on Tuesday and he was curious when she whimpered in her bassinet. I said to him that's your baby sister and he shook his head no, stated no no no and ran to the hospital door. His entire world has been rocked as he is my little sidekick I had many crying episodes because he doesn't have the vocab to tell me how he's feeling. Now when I do cry, he comes over to me and gives me a big hug and a snuggle for as long as I need it.
I once had a picture until the trolls showed up.
TTC #1 7/08 PCOS dx 8/28/04 Met 1000 mg and Clomid cycles 1-4 1/6/09-5/2/09 BFN
Clomid 100mg 6/4/09=O'd=BFP on 6/29/09! Beta@14DPO 70.8 Beta@16DPO 152. EDD 3/7/10.
First u/s on 7/13/09 @6w0d heard and saw heartbeat 102 bpm.
K M #1 arrived via c/s 3/1/10 10 lbs, 22 inches long at 39 weeks.
Surprise expecting #2. Med-free BFP on 8/1/11! Beta@15DPO 58.2 Beta@17DPO 198.3 Beta@23DPO 2338. EDD 4/9/12
K M #2 arrived via c/s 3/19/12 9 lbs 2 oz, 21 inches long at 37 weeks.
"If we weren't all crazy we would go insane."
Thank you for the kind words, I had a nice cry this afternoon. After ignoring me for a few days today is the first she woke up from a nap and was excited to see me. She climbed up in my lap and asked me to read and was overall her normal self. Of course then I had to feed DS and that upset her all over again. I know she'll adjust, it's just hard to not be able to be as involved in her routines right now.
Funny enough I posted this right before DS's pedi appoint and when the doc asked how things were going I mentioned DD being distant to me. He said he tell his patients to think of it this way - when she writes her memoirs years down the road she'll write about how awesome her life was except for this one month when her baby brother came home. It made me feel a lot better.