Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
PregsterDD
member
Re: I want a divorce from my pump!
I had a really hard time getting my supply up. My milk didn't come in until day 10, then I got almost nothing forever. It was hard. Eventually things worked out and I pumped 8 months. One last thing you could try is power pumping.
If you want to quit, then you can reduce the amount of time you pump and pumps total. But, you have to wean down carefully because mastitis sucks BAD and so do clogged ducts.
In your case, I'd probably stop pumping over night (so you can get some sleep) and then reduce the number of pumps gradually.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
I don't have much advice, but if your baby's adjusted age is over 36 weeks, does that mean he might be able to start attempting to nurse soon? That could really be a game changer.
If you want to quit, by all means, and don't feel guilty, but if nursing is something you really wanted to do, it seems like you might be getting close to the point where you could switch from mostly pumping to mostly nursing.
My LO was born at 36 weeks so I'm no expert on earlier preemies but even thought LO was LBW and a very sleeper eater for the first few weeks, we ended up BFing (and pumping at work) to 15 months. I have a good friend who's daughter was born at 32 weeks and she ended up nursing past a year, too, so don't give up unless you want to.
HAH! Your subject line gave me a wry smile. I remember feeling that way - I wanted to smash my pump. It's up to you - if you want to quit, ease out. If you want to keep going then three weeks is still early for having had a preemie. Our bodies know we've had a baby early but sometimes it takes longer than 'normal' for us to produce milk. However, having a preemie can also make it impossible to BF.
I'm not sure how long you'd have to try fenugreek and all that stuff for it to increase your supply - maybe someone else can answer that - just be sure you're sure.
Me: 38 DH:36
I have been divorcing also! I fed my daughter for a month (breast pumping only, she got the feeds because she was IUGR). I didn't have enough to give my son full feeds and only gave him 10-50% whenever I could. He is on formula fully except sometimes I put him to breast. At most I made 80ml per pumping. Since the demands have gone up I have only been able to provide my daughter with 2 breast "feedings" per 24 hour period. She started formula the day we left the NICU. I try to give her some to keep her regular as breast milk helps keep things moving.
I cannot do it anymore with twins... The pumping, and feeding them I wouldn't get any sleep. I was not a "happy" mom but a stressed one!! I basically only pump 2-3 times now in a 24 hour period to get enough to keep her regular (formula can bind because of the iron). It was a little painful at first but now my supply has gone down to about 50ml a pump and I hardly leak unless one of my kids is screaming for a bottle. I feel ok about doing what I am doing. I did all I could and my original plan was "doing what I could do" and giving the breast thing a try. Well I did!
I have been pumping for the last 5 weeks every 3 hours, including the middle of the night (this is the most important pumping time unfortunately). I have been very lucky to have a good supply, and even I worry when sometimes the amount i pump decreases. If at all possible (likely not), try to relax before pumping.... don't worry about what you will produce, just breath, think about how you are able to help your baby by pumping, whether it's a big amount or small, grab a book even, I find the more relaxed i am and not worrying about what i produce, the better I do.
I wouldn't recommend stopping unless you truly want to. when it comes to the point of breastfeeding, yoru doctor can prescribe you something to help increase your milk supply. obviously right now that's not an issue since baby isn't at the boob yet, and in the meantime, they can supplement some formula if needed.
If you genuinely want to give up and saw screw the pump (*hail you*
lol ), then I'd recommend wearing a bra at all times. If you have the velcro wrap from the hospital that they gave you after delievry to help relieve some abdominal pain, wrap this around your chest and the tightness will ease the engorgement pains.
One other thing to consider is to be sure your flanges / horns / cones (whatever you want to call them) are the right size. If you're sore, those could be too small. A LC should be able to help you with that. I ended up with BIG ones (XL Medela ones), and I was never really sore from pumping.
All that being said, pumping sucks. If you want to stop, I think you've done a great job making it this far.
If you stop you need to make sure you don't stimulate your breasts at all, wear a tight bra. You can use cold packs several times a day to help dry up what milk you do have trying to come in. I used frozen pea's for my ice packs .. they worked great! If you keep pumping its only going to keep stimulating the milk to come in. You need to keep a bra on even at night until all the milk is gone.
From experience .. if your milk does come in and your trying to quit it can get painful. Just stick to the cold packs .. and it pain hits use tylenol and motrin together.
Good luck!