any SAHMs?

andic1985 · April 2012

I went back to work when DD was 6 weeks old . I hated leaving her (still do). I have a really good job, but I am ALREADY thinking about how hard it is gonna be to go back to work after maternity leave. Is anyone a SAHM? Was it the best or worst decision ever? I know that being a SAHM is hard work, but leaving your babies with someone is hard too.

Anyone want to share their experience? Thanks!

kelly321 · April 2012

I've got a complicated situation that ends up working really well for me. I'm getting my PhD and have a scholarship to do so, so I'm lucky enough to be able to stay at home and still get paid (I make about 40% of DH's salary). We have a nanny who comes 3 mornings a week to watch DD while I try to get some serious work done on my dissertation, and otherwise I try to work while she naps or after she goes to bed (although that usually turns into bumping time...).

I also teach English and translate as a freelancer, although I have to keep both of those jobs to a minimum as per the guidelines of the scholarship. When my scholarship is up (in about 1.5 years), the plan is for me to continue to work from home part time.

For me it's a perfect solution because I can have the intellectual stimulation of working, occasional adult interaction with my English class, and still am home for DD almost 24/7 (even when the nanny's here I'm almost always working in our home office and can hear everything that's going on). I don't know if some sort of PT work at home position is possible for you, but it's worth considering, anyway.

Tirby8 · April 2012

I'm a SAHM, but I wasn't working prior to having LO, so I'm not sure I have anything helpful to say. I love staying home with him though, and I love getting to spend this time with him. That being said, I did feel that he wasn't getting enough social interaction, and we were worried about it enough to prompt us to put him in daycare/"school" for three half days a week. It seems like a great compromise. He still spends the majority of his time at home with me, but he also gets all the great things that a daycare environment can offer.

2ktBride · April 2012

I am a SAHM and it's the best decision I have ever made. My previous job was amazing and perfect but nothing compares to spending your time investing in your children. It was really hard to tell my employer that I wouldn't be returning but he responded very graciously, thanked me for the time I had spent with the company and told me I made the right decision. (His wife is a SAHM and he said his children are amazing individuals because of her. So sweet!)

I spent WAY, WAY too much time trying to decide if I was going to return to work or not. After all things considered I figured I would never regret spending "too much" time with my kids and I couldn't say the same about work.

Good luck with your decision!

onyxsycamore09 · April 2012

Staying at home is the best decision we ever made. Before I had my son I worked in an interior design showroom that was on it's way down hill with the economy and my boss was less than easy to work with/for, so the decision wasn't very difficult. Like a previous poster I am in school, I will graduate in May with my Architecture degree and am 3/4 of the way through my Interior Design degree. I also watch a little girl, who is 3, one day a week and work part-time doing transcription for my mom's company.

I feel like I always would have regreted working and missing the little (and big) moments,especially at a career/job that wasn't really going anywhere or wasn't where I saw myself in the long run. I think working part-time is a good middle ground or use the opportunity to continue your education, so you feel like you are contributing.....not that watching a little one all day isn't enough!

WannaBMommy81 · April 2012

I am a SAHM and it is the best decision I ever made! I worked FT until DD was almost 2. Daycare was just not working out for us (lots of issues, they weren't giving her naps, etc) Yes, we have had to cut back on our spending (I had a great paying job) but in the end I would rather cutback and not have as many luxuries and have the time with my daughter while she is young. Now having #2 it almost wouldn't pay to work with daycare rates! I also decided to change career paths and have gone back to school part-time so I still feel like I am accomplishing something!

WannaBMommy81 · April 2012

Tirby8:
I'm a SAHM, but I wasn't working prior to having LO, so I'm not sure I have anything helpful to say. I love staying home with him though, and I love getting to spend this time with him. That being said, I did feel that he wasn't getting enough social interaction, and we were worried about it enough to prompt us to put him in daycare/"school" for three half days a week. It seems like a great compromise. He still spends the majority of his time at home with me, but he also gets all the great things that a daycare environment can offer.

I was also worried about this with my DD. I made sure to bring her to playgroups, sign her up for classes, etc. She is now in preschool 3 days a week for 7.5 hrs total which is great! She learns new things, plays with kids her age on a regular basis, and it gives me some time to do homework or housework!

GHBEA · April 2012

This is my second time being a SAHM, my older girls are 20 and 17 now. This is my second marriage and his too. We talked before we TTC because I didn't want us on different pages. We agreed that I would stay home with our children. It works for us.

Now my older children and my SS think I sit around all day doing nothing because talking care of LO is easy. HAHAHAHA I wish.

lciganek1 · April 2012

I am a SAHM and I LOVE it!! I worked up until my daughter was 1 and I hated leaving her everyday. I was miserable and we didn't like having her in daycare all day (plus she got sick non-stop). We do so many fun & educational things together now - playdates, park, zoo, music class, etc. Next year (she'll be almost 3) we are going to put her in pre-school 3 mornings a week. She's at the age now where she really enjoys playing with other kids her age and it will be really good for her. Will also give me a chance for some one on one time with our new LO. Good luck with your decision!

73laura · April 2012

I found out I was pregnant the day after my last day at work. I have never been a SAHM...so this is a new experience for me. I was on track to start my PhD last year but instead remarried and moved back to the midwest. We now have 5 children- an 18 year old I adopted from foster care- my girls ages 12 and 7. We also have full custody of his twin 4 year old sons. I am a teacher...when I moved here I became director of a large corporate day care which I absolutely hated every minute of....so I finally decided to quit and then found out we are having a baby (followed by a tubal ligation I was very sick with my girls and it seems this one will be no different.

I still want to go back to school. My DH is supportive but really wants to finish his Masters first, but with his current position in the Army I just don't see that happening anytime soon. I am use to staying very busy...I did my Masters while I was a single mom with three kids working full time in a hard to staff school. I am looking forward to slowing down a bit. Although staying home is just as busy- I am worried about missing out on discussion with colleagues. Teaching is a passion for me- it wasn't ever just a job...

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