Personal question....please forgive me! :)

janastep73 · March 2012

How long was it before you and your SO/DH had sex after miscarrying? What made you do it so soon/wait so long? What did your doctor tell you in terms of how long to wait?

I mean just sex in general, not necessarily BD'ing.

holly321 · March 2012

I was allowed to have protected sex after a week. We were going to that day, but I wasn't feeling up to it. We tried to the next day, but I habititually told DH to be careful of the baby, and started bawling.

We finally did the next day, it wasn't the most comfortable.

Cherry0109 · March 2012

My doctor told us to wait about 10 days (and to use protection for a couple weeks). Its only been a week since my d&c so we still haven't... I want to but I am afraid of the emotions that will come when we do have sex again. I'm still so broken...

Emily.Thorne · March 2012

My doctor didn't really give us a specific time frame, other than waiting until after the bleeding stopped. I had a natural miscarriage at 7 weeks. Not sure if its different for a later miscarriage or DNC

behapy2day · March 2012

My doctor told us no intercourse for two weeks post d&c.

JennOH85 · March 2012

We had to wait almost a month because of doctor's orders, but since my last check-up, we got the okay for sex but no BD until after AF. I went to VS and bought something new because I thought that might help me get in the mood and feel sexy again, but I ended up taking it all back to the store because I didn't want to make our first time post-mc feel like a production (if that makes any sense). I thought that sex would be the farthest thing from my mind, but after the dr's okay, I was surprised at how much I wanted to feel that closeness with DH again. After the mc and d&c's, I felt like part of me had been not only broken but somehow vandalized because of the two surgeries, and having sex again helped me feel like I was still okay. I'm sure everyone's experience is a little different. For me it was emotional, but there was no physical pain or noticeable physical difference from before the mc.

April! · March 2012

I'm glad you asked this because I have been wondering the same thing! It has been 3 weeks since my misoprostol-induced missed MC. My OB didn't give a specific time frame for avoiding it, but I just haven't felt up to it. My husband and I haven't had sex since we found out the embryo stopped developing, which was about 6 weeks ago. Now he's back at his job out of town, and we won't see each other for a couple of weeks.

Like JennOH85 I thought about getting some pretty lingerie, but you're totally right that would make it feel like a big production! I'm kind of dreading it because I don't want to get upset, but would like that closeness again.

janastep73 · March 2012

My DH is being supportive and we have talked about it, specifically my concerns and worries. We didn't do it that often while I was pregnant because I would have bleeding every time and it scared me. I told him the first time we do it after the m/c I would probably be emotional and scared that it was going to hurt or that I would "break something". Smile . He told me that he had no idea that I would be scared it would be painful or anything, but he could understand it being emotional. I guess men sometimes just don't understand those types of things. I'm getting to where I want to, because I miss the closeness, and right now, because of everything that is going on, I feel very close to him.

Right now it's pretty soon (my d&c was exactly a week ago), and my discharge instructions just said to "talk to my doctor" about when is appropriate, but I feel a little weird (and dirty lol) calling my doctor's office to ask that. My follow-up appointment isn't for almost a month.

I think we want to start trying again as soon as possible and I think doing it before we start TTC again would be good. I just wanted to get your opinions.

Thanks everyone!

MomLovesWine · March 2012

We were given the all clear at my one week post-op. It's been a month since then and I still can't bring myself to have sex again Embarrassed

elplocho · March 2012

My doctor actually never discussed it with me. I just went with when it felt right, which was almost two weeks after. I was still having bleeding but it wasn't crazy. It made me feel like things were getting back to normal. I had really missed feeling close to him in that way. It wasn't really uncomfortable, but I wouldn't say I enjoyed it either.

pkaren · March 2012

MomLovesWine:
We were given the all clear at my one week post-op. It's been a month since then and I still can't bring myself to have sex again

My OB said to wait one week to have sex, and we could TTC after AF arrived. However, it's been 3 weeks since my D&C and we still haven't had sex. I'm terrified of getting pg before AF comes and DH refuses to "bag it" (that's a whole oether story). Also, I feel emotionally ready, but I think DH is scared. We talked and we're just going to wait until AF shows up, as long as it's not too long. I'm hoping she will show her face next week!

pkaren · March 2012

MomLovesWine:
We were given the all clear at my one week post-op. It's been a month since then and I still can't bring myself to have sex again

My OB said to wait one week to have sex, and we could TTC after AF arrived. However, it's been 3 weeks since my D&C and we still haven't had sex. I'm terrified of getting pg before AF comes and DH refuses to "bag it" (that's a whole oether story). Also, I feel emotionally ready, but I think DH is scared. We talked and we're just going to wait until AF shows up, as long as it's not too long. I'm hoping she will show her face next week!

doodlescaboodles · March 2012

My OB recommended 4-5 weeks. I don't know if my "wait" period is so much longer due to having my D&C at almost 19 weeks. At this point Im not in a huge rush.

Cherry0109 · March 2012

My Doctor didn't actually tell me- he told H after surgery while I was in recovery. He apparently gave him a good talk about how it would be emotional for me and what to do etc. Sometimes there are some nice perks to having a male doctor- he is great with my H...

janastep73 · March 2012

Cherry0109:
My Doctor didn't actually tell me- he told H after surgery while I was in recovery. He apparently gave him a good talk about how it would be emotional for me and what to do etc. Sometimes there are some nice perks to having a male doctor- he is great with my H...

That's awesome. My doctor didn't tell my H and of course DH didn't think to ask (or was too embarassed).

janastep73 · March 2012

pkaren:

MomLovesWine:
We were given the all clear at my one week post-op. It's been a month since then and I still can't bring myself to have sex again

My OB said to wait one week to have sex, and we could TTC after AF arrived. However, it's been 3 weeks since my D&C and we still haven't had sex. I'm terrified of getting pg before AF comes and DH refuses to "bag it" (that's a whole oether story). Also, I feel emotionally ready, but I think DH is scared. We talked and we're just going to wait until AF shows up, as long as it's not too long. I'm hoping she will show her face next week!

In times like this my DH knows it's either bagging it or getting nothing at all! So he resorts to bagging it.

MWoodside · March 2012

We had sex once I stopped bleeding, which was about 2.5 weeks post-D&C.

MissRachel621 · March 2012

We waited the recommended 2 weeks after the D&C, and I was still a little sore, so we had to stop. I was fine a couple of days later.

LorMor · April 2012

Two days after D&C. Felt a little bruised, and we used a condom, but it also felt right, and I felt ready. Dr hadn't said anything, but she had said that I could use a tampon if nec, so I assumed that meant okay for sex too.

(If it helps, it was on a secluded rock, on a mountain, and I do find outside sex very good for the soul.)

Personal question....please forgive me! :)

Re: Personal question....please forgive me! :)

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