Sleeping with baby!

Chuck1906 · April 2012

Me and my sons mom don't live in the same house and it really bothers me when she tells me she puts our son in the same bed with her. Now she swears up and down that she won't roll over on him but I just feel that he needs to be in his crib where he belongs. Tomorrow he will be 6 months old and he is a wild sleeper (always moving around). A friend of mine told me I should contact child protective services because she is endangering the welfare of my child but I don't know if I want to do all that. I already addressed my concern to her about doing that and she won't listen to me. Now when my son stays with me, he stays in his crib in his own room and I listen to him via the baby monitor and everything is fine! If he wakes up in the middle of the night, i get up and feed him and then I put him right back in his crib.

I have no idea other than her being to lazy to put him back in his crib after a mid night feeding or waking up crying that she leaves him in her bed. I have heard stories where little boys as old as 9 years old still sleep in the bed with their moms and I personally have an issue with that. Its one thing to be scared of a thunderstorm or something and want to hop in the bed with the parents but its another thing for it to be a routine thing to do every night of the week because that is all they know as a kid.

The sad thing is that I can tell her till I am blue in the face but the fact of the matter is, she is going to do what she wants to do.

dragon_chica · April 2012

danes22:
Do NOT call CPS. Many moms bed share with their babies and it can be completely safe if done correctly. My son is 6 months and he ends up in bed with me almost every morning after his dad leaves for work, but there were many times during the first few months where he slept next to me the majority of the night because it was the only way I was getting any sleep.
I highly doubt she is doing it out of laziness. How do you know he falls right back to sleep after she feeds him? Or she may just want the extra snuggle time if you have shared custody.
Also, you're getting way ahead of yourself with worrying about where he will be sleeping when he is 9. He is still a baby!

This. You really need to read up on the benefits of bedsharing and why it can sometimes be a danger instead of making assumptions or falling prey to the scare tactics that a lot of ads are throwing in our faces lately. Bedsharing is dangerous if the parents are heavy sleepers, are on medications, drink/take drugs that sort of thing. If done properly bedsharing is completely safe and a great way to bond.

I bedshared with DD up to 6 months and I bedshare PT with DS right now. Part of the reason is because it's easier to feed him and then go right back to sleep and the other part is loving how it feels to have him in my arms. I miss those days with DD and I would never take them back and wish I never did it. And guess what, DD's 2.5 and sleeps in her own big girl bed.

I think your misconception of bedsharing is letting your wild imagination run loose and you need to rein it in. There is a HUGE (obviously) difference between a 6 month old baby and a NINE y/o child. I'm a bit confused about your relationship to this baby you're speaking of. Is this your child? Because in your first sentence you say, "Me and my son's mom." Are you the step-mom? Either way if you really don't feel comfortable having this other person bedshare with the child then stop sending the child over there. If this is some sort of shared custody then you're SOL. This is no where close to being CPS-worthy.

KatieMcClure86 · April 2012

More power to her, I bed share. It's a great tool in attachment parenting. My son sleeps much sounder with me versus in another room. She is NOT lazy just because she doesn't do things YOUR way. Bed sharing is very common.

duffmaker · April 2012

OMG DO NOT CALL CPS!!! It is frowned upon by almost every nurse and doctor you will come across but mother's bedshare all the time. I do! I breastfeed my daughter so I will put her down in her crib but when she wakes up in the middle of the night, if I'm really tired I'll bring her to bed with me and we will fall asleep nursing. It's an instinct, I know for a fact that I will never roll over on my baby, ever. It is a very comforting thing to have your child right there cuddled up to you and to wake up in the morning to their cooing, smiling face. Check out the attachment parenting board, this is what this is and they can give you tons of insight on bedsharing, risks and rewards.

Netty_3 · April 2012

My LO wakes up twce a night, the first time he goes back to bed, the second time around 3:45-4am he stays with me. I wake up between 430 and 5 so him being in the room while I'm getting ready allows me to keep an eye on him while my husband sleeps in the other room. We snuggle for that 30 min to an hour before I get up. I work all day, and he goes to sleep not long after we get home, so this little time I have is important...at least I think so.

angela9602 · April 2012

I am completly anti bed sharing! I agree the baby needs to be in there crib but I dont think its a issue for CPS. You need to tell her this is your child too, your concerns need to be valid. How would she feel if you did something she was not supportive of.

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