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C-sections
LMBecky11
member
Anyone else feel judged?
LMBecky11
member
in C-sections
There have been a couple instances where I have felt like people thought less of me for having a c-section (even though it was unplanned and not *really* my choice). And then even more when I said I thought I would have a rcs if I get pregnant again. One friend said it was a "right of passage" to push a baby out your who-ha and another said she can see how it might be more "convenient" that way, but since she did it (all natural) she wouldn't do it any other way....
I was all set to have my baby as naturally as I could.... then I had a c-section. And now, after hearing friend #2's story of recovery and knowing the possibility of having to push for hours before baby comes out, it scares the heck out of me! It's not for convenience sake either! My c-section recovery was tolerable. The post-surgery pain was tolerable (with percocet to aid me!). I just don't see why it is such a bad thing to want to have another c-section.
Granted, there is part of me that would love to try again to have a baby naturally and I respect those who do. Buy why should I be made to feel like I am not doing what's best if I choose to have a second (or third or forth, if it comes to that) c-section?
Anyone else feel the same?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else feel judged?
No, I don't feel judged. I feel lucky! I was terrified to push out a baby and because my 1st was so big (10 lbs 3 oz) I literally couldn't so I had an emergency c-section. I thought I'd won the lottery!! My doctor opted for c-sections each subsequent time because the chance I may have another big baby (I didn't have gestational diabetes either). However now I think it's a safety issue (#4 coming up).
Next time you're feeling judged by a 'super mom' just remember, you don't have hemorrhoids as a result, your girl parts are stretched all to hell, and you can pee painlessly after you had your baby
Yeah, I have been totally judged for having a c-section with my first and for having another one with this baby.
But I tend to laugh it off or tell the horrible stories about my grandmother losing children because she couldn't give birth to them because her pelvic area was so small and I happen to be a physical carbon copy of my grandmother. People who want to say nasty things to me about this deserve to hear horrible stories is my way of thinking.
With my first - when they were prepping me for the c-section I was super nice and invited my parents and in-laws to be in the room with us. My MIL went on a rant about how I was just having that baby the easy way and how I wasn't really giving birth etc..... I had an awesome nurse who got all over her and told her that any way you have a baby is giving birth and that I was about to have major surgery which wasn't a walk in the park by any means. I really wanted to jump up and give that nurse a hug at that moment. It was awesome
Love this!
my c section wasn' my choice (I wanted a natural birth), but people need to STFU. It's not their body.
I would personally not elaborate to "friends" on my birth plan if they feel the need to comment like that.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
I have cousin (who is honestly a moron), who judged me for having a c/s with my breech baby. She said I had other options, and she was right. However, I explained to her that my goal was to get the baby out with the smallest chance of fetal distress. I just wanted the smoothest delivery of my baby, and I researched all the options first.
Now I even feel badly for this cousin, because she's 35 wks. with a baby with Cystic Fibrosis, and she insists on having as little medical intervention as possible for her birth. I'm praying for her and her baby.
I get "oh you took the easy way out"
Um, really? Major abdominal surgery, and recovery with the rush of hormones and emotions and a newborn baby to care for is the easy way?
People need to mind their own business and STFU. Seriously. I carried my son for 39 weeks, and I had a scheduled c-section (I have a medical condition that made a vaginal delivery not only difficult, but dangerous for me and baby).
There is no written law that your baby needs to exit your body through your hoo-ha. I'm just glad he didn't exit early, he didn't have any distress and he is happy and healthy. THAT is a real mom.
This!
BFP #2 March 2011, Baby Girl born November 2011!!!
I just had my 3rd baby, this time was a csection, but my previous two deliveries were vaginal.
I feel that I made the right choice to go the csection route this time. It would've been great if DS was around 7ish lbs for me to deliver vaginally, but it didn't work out that way and he was even larger than my OB estimated him to be.
For anyone who says a csection is easier or that it is not giving birth can STFU. In my experience, the recovery is a *** and not easy at all, and my csection and recovery have been complication free. Anyway, I'm grateful that my baby was delivered safely and he and I are ok. Hang in there OP and don't let judgy people get to you.
I have felt judged. But when people start asking questions about why I had a c-section with DD2 when I delivered vaginally with DD1, I ham it up tell them in very gory detail how I was basically ripped in half delivering DD1 (I had a bad 4th degree tear). That usually shuts them up.
I personally couldn't care less what other people think, though. I had three medical professionals tell me I should never deliver vaginally again, and my recovery from the c-section was a dream compared to my vaginal delivery.
Lol, I love this too!
Your friend can come chat with me and I'll throat punch her. I can never push a baby out of my who-ha. My first was born via emergency/unplanned c/s at 28w4d and medically I can never have anything but a rcs. My right of passage was me giving birth, not how I gave birth. <----that wasn't directed to you, but I don't know how to keep my mouth shut. lol
I've never felt judged, but when your first baby passes, no one really cares how the second one is born as long as it's healthy.
It's a GIRL!!
Haha I love this.
No one has ever said anything to me but I agree with the others - they can shove it if they do. My first was a vaginal birth with no epi - I loved the experience and wanted it again but my LO wouldn't budge at all due to her size and I ended up having to have a c-section. It also doesn't bug me at all. It's her birth story and how she entered this world.
Due to my births being so close together this one will be a RCS. My clinic doesn't allow for VBACs at all though. Still, no one has personally said anything ... yet lol.
MDC- 10-2-96 CEC- 4-12-98 EEC- 3-10-01
I love all the funny responses! And I agree. People need to realize that how you have the baby isn't the important part.Too bad I am not more vocal when something upsets me though! I could have a lot of great things to counter with from you guys!
Also, to be fair, I don''t think those two who said these things to me meant to be judgmental... they, especially the first, needs to think about what they are saying before they say it and be sensitive to the situation.
Thanks all for your responses though. I'm glad that there is support from others out there!
My MIL wasn't saying this, but I know because I felt judged, that I was starting to believe that I didn't do it the "RIGHT WAY". My midwife was amazing and sat on the bed with me and told me that it doesn't matter how you give birth. A baby comes out of your body, and that you are giving birth, which means it was the RIGHT WAY. After she told me that, I honestly just hugged her and cried (must have been the hormones
)
You do what you think is best for you and your baby. The OB/midwife will tell you if they don't agree. I am having a RCS this time and I am actually excited that I won't be in labor 27 hrs and then have to have a C/S. I feel blessed that I am able to have a baby either way.