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Blended Families
fellesferie
member
Confessions/Open Letters/Vents
fellesferie
member
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Confessions/Open Letters/Vents
1. For really the first time, I'm kinda angry at my MIL. My SIL (the one who also married into the family) and I have talked many times about how MIL openly prefers her grandchildren from her daughters over those of her sons. It has a lot to do with how her daughters need her more, and so they're just closer knit. But anyway, she asked to Skype with DS and DD last Thursday. We signed in at the appropriate time, and she wasn't there. So H calls her and she says she's busy with other grandson's (her daughter's kid) birthday and can't talk. W.T.F woman? You set up the date/time! And you can't take 5 minutes to talk to my kids who are obediently sitting down waiting to talk to you?
Then she tells H she'll call the next day. No call. No text. No email explaining anything. I feel pretty strongly that she could have called and canceled when she realized she'd double booked herself. Or if she just totally forgot, she could just take a few minutes to talk to the kids. My kids have the attention spans of fruit flies, so this wouldn't have taken very long!
2. DS asked the other day if he could throw away one of his toys. This toy he wanted to throw away is one of the only things XH has given him in person. At the time it was given to him, DS really liked this toy. And he has never before asked to throw away a toy. If I throw away a broken toy, and he sees it, he'll retrieve it, ask if we can fix it, etc. I don't know if it's coincidental and means nothing, or if I should be concerned. I've tried initiating conversations, but he changed the subject every time. I'm afraid I might have said/done something that somehow provoked this.
3. DD gets way too much screen time. Like probably 2+ hours a day between the TV, Kindle Fire, and watching videos on my phone. We read books, go to the park, blow bubbles outside, etc. But 15 minutes here and there adds up.
My confession:
I'm purposely coming in late to work. DH and I decided my career here will expire at the end of August. I am mentally exhausted and can't keep juggling home and work. I am taking a break for a year. So excited.
I'm not ready to register for baby stuff (can't I finish the semester, first?) and I don't want anymore comments and suggestions that center around what my FSIL buys/does/uses for her baby. I swear if I get any more from her or my mom, I'm buying the opposite. I listened the first 10 times and there are certain things we just aren't going to need or want. When I find time to register, you'll get to see what I choose.
Also, it's our choice when and which vaccinations LO gets. I know the pertussis vaccine nearly killed me, but that doesn't mean it will harm LO. I also would like to do my research on those which are preservative-free. DH is against vaccinations so we're TRYING to find a middle ground. Lay off. Oh, and FSIL, if you won't let your child around mine if he's not vaccinated according to your requirements - I'm really OK with that. Your other child is atrocious and violent because of your lack of parenting. I'd rather my children not be harmed.
Dear SS and SD,
Have fun in Italy with BM. It is a once in a lifetime trip and I so glad you guys get to take it. That is WAY better then anything I could have planned for spring break. Enjoy every minute I can't wait to see your pictures and hear the stories.
Dear SDs,
You guys will be stuck with us going to the zoo and art expedition this weekend. We don't have Italy money like BM#1. Sorry! But we did pay off the braces and gymnastics classes instead. You also get dad all to yourselfes Sunday. I hope you enjoy.
Dear DH,
I love you bunches!
Dear broken dryer,
I can't wait for your replacement to show up Monday and for you to go bye bye forever. WooHoo for steam in the dryer. Nothing is safe on Monday and may have to get steamed!
Here is my secret confession that I can't tell anyone but I know I can tell you ladies: Sometimes I feel guilty about what has happened to exh since we divorced: how angry he is, the bankruptcy he had to declare, the fact that he is not in my dc's life every day. I know that he caused all this as much as I did (and more so, because the bankruptcy was due to him spending tons of $ he did not have when we separated), and I know that I probably feel this way because we had such a twisted relationship and power imbalance that it's probably just me falling back into that same submissive, self-blaming pattern. But I still feel this way sometimes. Maybe it is pregnancy hormones too. ugh!
Then I get mad at myself for feeling that way. ugh again!
Don't get mad at yourself for feeling this way, there is nothing wrong with having compassion and empathy. My XH has completely changed from what he was, fights Rx pill addictions, hasn't worked in 8 years, thus hasn't paid child support in 8 years, and has basically turned into a total loser. I too feel bad sometimes, when we got together he had a good job, started a family that he was really excited about, and was on the path to the white picket fence. Now I have the white picket fence, and he is a welfare bum that has supervised visitations with his kids because he can't be trusted with them. His fault, no doubt. But I am sure it isn't easy, and I feel bad sometimes. Not always, just sometimes!
Just thought I'd let you know that you aren't the only one.
Dear ILs:
I cannot stand you, I'm sorry. How you produced my H, who I love so much, is absolutely beyond me.
I am done dealing with your crap. I will be civil with you, because otherwise I am fairly certain my marriage will fail. But know that I will never willingly leave you alone with my children, that you are not welcome in my home, and the next time I hear you discussing my family's life in public it will not end well for anybody.
You are horrible, selfish, rude people. And I don't need that in my life.
Sincerely,
Your DIL
Add of CC of this to DHs grandmother lol
Dear MIL,
You are a horridly short-sighted, selfish individual who actually made your 45 yo son cry. I hope that you understand that after this stupid two week layover this August, we will never set foot in your house again.
BG MIL has only visited my husband 3 times in the last 27 years, two were for his two weddings. She did not go to his boot camp graduation, his tech school graduation, any of his promotions, nor the birth of his kids.
But boy did she throw a stink when sh found out my patents were coming to germany for his retirement, even though we offered to pay for her and her boy friends flights.
So we changed the dates and made the one here really small, so my parents could no longer come and offered to have a second, larger one in Maine so SHE could be there. We just needed her to do ONE thing, that we could not do from here, but it was one really important thing....that had a deadline.
Yeah, guess who couldn't be bothered...but I the same skype conversation where she told her son she flaked out, she made a nastcomment to Monkey about MY parents coming to see us tthis week.
DH did put her in her place about the comment IMMEDIATELY, but I did warn DH that if she started up like this again, I would put a big ass stop to Monkey seeing her. And now I want to keep DH from this mean old woman too.
Wednesday night I was painting my toenails and SS said he wanted his painted too. So I asked "red or pink" and he said pink. I explained to him that the polish doesn't come off in the shower, he'll have to let the paint dry, etc thinking that would deter him. Nope. So I did. And now I'm waiting for BM to sh!t a brick.
I can't stop eating easter candy, it's the devil in my house right now & it goes with the fact I can't go to the store with out buying some.
i HATE the fact the my ExH finds it appropriate to bring every sl-tty girl he's entertaining at the time around DS. Really grow up, have someone else in mind for once other than yourself, DS does NOT need to see that. DB.
I deleted my FB over two years ago & it so considerably stopped drama & the need to "see what so and so is up to". Just a random tid bit. lol
I'd be interested to see how your DH would cope without you for a few days. Maybe you should hit a spa for the weekend...
dear DH,
yesterday when you were drunk and said "i took two ambien so that you and the baby can't wake me up tonight" --- i really hoped that you'd die in your sleep. that's disgusting on my part and i'm ashamed. i remember when you used to be so out of your mind, i'd stay awake watching and mothering you --- now i'm just done. i'd leave, but i don't want you to have any custody of your daughter at all. i've raised, cared for, and supported you and your kids for the last 5 years - i refuse to have another woman raise mine. i know you're miserable in our relationship but won't leave because i make your life easier... it sucks to know you don't love me and haven't for a long time.
dear BM,
sometimes i'm jealous that you got away.
dear me,
suck it up, eh? this pity party needs to end now.