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Gotta love the stupid comments while TTCAL

foxxy1foxxy1 member
in Late Term and Child Loss

Background: I have a close and personal relationship with my boss and she's been there with everything involving Ethan. She went to visit me at the hospital the morning after his birthday and I told her that DH and I were going to try again this spring.

That being said...

So she approaches me just now and asked me how I was doing. I told her I was having a bit of a rough time because I should've been giving birth to Ethan this month so I'm kinda sad and emotional. She looked at me and was dumfounded by what I told her. Then she says, 'But aren't you trying again? You should be happy about that!'

I just looked at her and walked away. For real, woman? Trying to get pregnant doesn't take away the loss of the baby I should've been giving birth to anyday now. I should be on maternity leave, not temping and charting.  

Lesson learned: I need to keep my mouth shut about all things TTC with those who don't get it.

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Re: Gotta love the stupid comments while TTCAL

  • nuttycoconutnuttycoconut member
    Yup. Babies can't be replaced and people don't get it. Sorry :(
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IVF #1 BFP b/g twins!; loss at 23 weeks due to I.C. and PTL. IVF #2 BFP 5/26/12; due date 2/6/13; TAC surgery 7/20/12, blessed with another girl & boy! 

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  • HeatherhahHeatherhah member
    That is exactly why when and if we do get pregnant again I will not be telling anyone until after the first tri that way they can't say dumb crap and upset me. People suck I'm so sorry you had to deal with that people don't think!!!
    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
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  • dandywarholdandywarhol member

    imageHeatherhah:
    That is exactly why when and if we do get pregnant again I will not be telling anyone until after the first tri that way they can't say dumb crap and upset me. People suck I'm so sorry you had to deal with that people don't think!!!

    Ditto. 

    BFP #1 - Missed M/C, D&C 3.21.11

    BFP #2 - Sylvie V. Q. born and died on 10.28.11 at 21w. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP #3 - Evie V. Q. Fetal demise @ 16w. DC 7.8.12
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    BFP  #4 - Beatrix V. Q. Born 6.2.13 at 23w6d.
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  • foxxy1foxxy1 member

    Thanks, ladies. I just told DH and he was floored. I just thought my boss out of all people would not make that comment, you know? It really does amaze me that people really feel you should just 'get over it.' No, I just learn how to live with it.

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  • lrichmond86lrichmond86 member
    Ugh.  Frustrating.  I'm always surprised that people who should "get it" (i.e. close friends) say dumb things like that.  I was just saying today that sometimes it feels like people don't think that I had a child just because I didn't take him home with me.  Um, Helloooo... I was in labor for 18 hours.  I named my baby and held him and kissed him.  Having another baby doesn't make losing him ok.  Jeez. 
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • nuttycoconutnuttycoconut member
    I know this is kind of odd but some days I think I might deny being pregnant until I bring my next baby home. I was hoping I might avoid a few stupid comments that way.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IVF #1 BFP b/g twins!; loss at 23 weeks due to I.C. and PTL. IVF #2 BFP 5/26/12; due date 2/6/13; TAC surgery 7/20/12, blessed with another girl & boy! 

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  • littlepenguin2012littlepenguin2012 member

    imagenuttycoconut:
    I know this is kind of odd but some days I think I might deny being pregnant until I bring my next baby home. I was hoping I might avoid a few stupid comments that way.

     

    I don't think this is odd- I plan to do that same. :) 

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  • foxxy1foxxy1 member
    imagelittlepenguin2012:

    imagenuttycoconut:
    I know this is kind of odd but some days I think I might deny being pregnant until I bring my next baby home. I was hoping I might avoid a few stupid comments that way.

     

    I don't think this is odd- I plan to do that same. :) 

    A while ago, I told DH I was going to do just that. Now I have more reason to!

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  • tracyfromnhtracyfromnh
    I agree with everyone else here that people are just stupid.  Sometime diarrhea of the mouth occurs and they just can't stop saying stupid things.  When i lost my pregnancy, we hadn't yet told anyone we were even trying (even though it was 2 years and lots of problems).  My husband decided he needed to tell the world, and all the stupid comments came flowing in.  I tried to be understanding, thinking prior to my loss who knows what stupid thing i could have said to someone who suffered a loss, thinking i was helping.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • JessicaRobbJessicaRobb member

    imagenuttycoconut:
    I know this is kind of odd but some days I think I might deny being pregnant until I bring my next baby home. I was hoping I might avoid a few stupid comments that way.

     

    Im not planning on announcing either. I waited until after the first tri this time around and see where that got me...

     

    Sorry about the insensitive comments at work Foxxy. 

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  • nuttycoconutnuttycoconut member
    I'm so grateful to all of you because you make all of my odd comments and thoughts seem normal :)
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IVF #1 BFP b/g twins!; loss at 23 weeks due to I.C. and PTL. IVF #2 BFP 5/26/12; due date 2/6/13; TAC surgery 7/20/12, blessed with another girl & boy! 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    imageJessicaRobb:

    imagenuttycoconut:
    I know this is kind of odd but some days I think I might deny being pregnant until I bring my next baby home. I was hoping I might avoid a few stupid comments that way.

     

    Im not planning on announcing either. I waited until after the first tri this time around and see where that got me...

     

    Sorry about the insensitive comments at work Foxxy. 

    This, this AND this. All the way.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • blessedhopeblessedhope member

    ya, i know. There's nothing I hate more as when i open my heart up to someone and share about my loss and they respond with, "are you going to have another one?' or, "You'll have another one!" That's like being at a funeral of someone who just lost their beloved spouse, slapping them on the back and saying, "Don't worry! You'll remarry!" People can be such insensitive jerks. 

    So sorry your boss said that to you. ((hugs))

    My little boy went to heaven during childbirth Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


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