Body issues at 4? (long)
salesmom
member
My 4yo DD does not like swimming (getting her head in the water) but she does love to lounge around in my parents pool. She didn't want to go back to swimming lessons but she is starting up again next week. I told her tough - if she wants to be around pools this summer, she HAS to be comfortable in the water. That made her ok with it but made a comment that really made me sad.
She asked if other kids will be in the class and when I told her there would, she said she thought she looked funny in a bathing suit...WHAT?!?! I want to preface that she never watches tv shows with us that's not kid appropriate and I never never never talk about any "body issues" because I do not want her to adopt that mode of thinking. Its funny because she goes to gymnastics and has no qualms whatsoever about parading around in her leotard.
I had no idea how to respond to her but I told her that everyone's body is built differently and that's the beauty of it - that its your body and no one has one just like it! That bodies come in many different sizes and shapes and to be proud of the one you have. Not to mention 4 year olds are too young to be worrying about things like that! Did I say the right thing! She just said OK and started talking about other random things. BTW she is actually pretty slender and is true to her size (4).
Re: Body issues at 4? (long)
I think you handled it beautifully.
My response would have been: "What do you mean by "funny""?
Could be that her bathing suit is riding up in the back and it makes her uncomfortable.
Could be that she sees other girls in a 2 piece and feels like she should have one too (or 1 piece).
Could be that she doesn't like the color.
This could have zero to do with body issue so I'd clarify first before becoming too concerned - especially if she doesn't blink at her gymnastics leotards.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
Thank you for this! Of course as a parent my mind goes to the most serious issue but you are right! I will have to ask her more questions next time. I was completely not prepared for that but it could be simply the fact she wore two pieces (for restroom purposes) and the other girl in class wore a 1 piece.
I let her pick out her own bathing suit yesterday for the lessons to make her more excited.
I don't have a daughter but I did have an eating disorder in my teens so I have zero doubt that my mind would have gone exactly where yours did.
It's much easier to dissect stuff like this after the fact and so much harder to think fast when the situation presents itself.
Don't doubt yourself, Mamma. You handled it perfectly. Even if it's not actually a body image issue on her part I think they're never too young to hear the message you sent her.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
My 4 yr old daughter is the same way. She will be 5 in July but this started right around the age of 4. She is outgoing and funny and cute. I think she's beautiful.
It started last year at bathing suit time. She would only wear a one piece so no one could see her belly or laugh at her. Okay - we only wore one pieces last year. That was the end of the issue.
She started pre-school in September. After a month, she started with the "will they laugh at me?" when she was getting dressed for school. I told her "no". Everyone dresses differently but everyone always looks nice. I let her pick out most of her clothes, she's picky with the shoes. When she's done, I always tell her how nice she looks. I also drop her off at school and say the same things to her friends (that they look so nice/pretty) as I drop her off.
I asked her about a month ago why she thinks she would look funny at school? Did someone say she looks funny? She said no. I honestly think it's just a self-conscious thing, that I was not expecting to start so soon. I was thinking maybe 1st or 2nd grade.
The joys of raising a daughter.
Good points. I'm always surprised when DD comes home from school requesting or changing her mind about things because of the other girls in her class.....we had to get jeans because Mia has them and a solid pink sheet for our nap cot because Yasmine has one. Sort of funny but really surprised me that is starts so early.