Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Mizsoccer83
member
Re: A couple ?'s...
Is it better/easier to have a planned CS than an emergency one?
This totally depends on the individual's experience. From what I've seen, yes, scheduled sections tend to have smoother recoveries that an emergency one that would occur after labor. But this is just an observation, not medical fact. It's hit or miss.
Is recovery THAT bad?
Again, totally depends on your experience. Try not to think about what others have been through, talk to your doctors and focus on making your own experience as easy as possible for you and your baby.
Also, one of the biggest concerns I have about having a CS, is how it may effect my milk supply and ability to BF (I have heard a lot of people had this problem). I have never been one to have a set birth plan (again, because of some medical concerns I have), but I did always know I wanted to BF. Is this true? Has there been anyone out there that has been successful post CS in BF'ing? Why would a CS effect BF'ing?
I personally had no problems whatsoever with BFing. My milk came in on day four or five, which is normal for any delivery. DD nursed well and thrived on my colostrum up until that point, which is also normal. She never had a drop of formula and we're still nursing at over a year now. My advice is to go into it knowing that BFing is what your body and your baby's body are meant to do after birth, no matter how that birth occurs. Try to be relaxed about it; it's amazing how much anxiety can hinder a smooth transition to BFing.
Lots of luck!
I had an unplanned cs and I EBF. My supply is great and I produce more than enough milk to sustain my baby. I was out of the OR in 15 minutes and put DS to my breast right away.
My CS was unplanned (baby wouldn't come down due to her size). I had labored beforehand and, though the surgery itself went great, my recovery sucked. The first 4 days were the worst. I didn't know what to expect on recovery so it actually surprised me when I was dealing with it. Little things like going to the bathroom and trying to pull up my underwear or washing up down there - those first few days I needed help with.
I have been told by friends and my doctor that having a planned CS is easier on recovery (something i'm looking forward to this time around haha).
As for BF'ding - I have issues making milk at all so I will be of no help there. I didn't make any milk with DD1 and with DD2 I actually DID have some milk come in but it was almost 2 weeks pp.
Good luck!!
I had an unplanned c/s due to infection (fever for me after long labor, my son got tachycardic).
The hardest part of recovery was the emotional one, as I wanted a natural birth so I felt as though I failed. So I think you will be ok from that perspective - as your c/s would be planned and you already said you had thought it might be an option due to medical issues.
The physical recovery wasn't terrible - i am a nurse so i knew i had to get up and out of bed soon after surgery, and i did. i did rely on dh for that, as well as to go the bathroom the first few days.
you can totally be successful with bf - the key is to get the baby skin to skin with you ASAP. After surgery (maybe 1 hour after he was born? - it's hazy) I was wheeled back accross the hall to the room I labored in. Dh was holding our son. I got him on my chest and on the boob right away. If your child has to go to the NICU or nursery, make sure they know NO bottles or pacifiers. Have your dh go everywhere with the baby to ensure this.
I did not sleep more than a couple of hours the first three days after surgery because I put my son to the breast at least every two hours. You must be prepared for that. To stimulate your breasts and milk production, this important. So baby should not go to the nursery.
You can do it, I was worried as well. It made the news of "you need a c section" much harder, because I remember thinking "there goes BF" and I was really sad.
Here we are 4 mos later, and ds is EBF still.
Best of luck for a healthy delivery!
p.s. my dh went to Mizzou - huge Tigers fan
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
Find an LC now, so you have someone you can call after the baby's born. Also check with the hospital and see if they have LCs on staff - sometimes they only work M-F. Make sure your doctor and the nurses know you want to breastfeed, so they don't supplement with formula right away.
I had an unplanned c-section with DS1, and then we were separated for the first 3 or so days. I ended up pumping within a few hours of the c/s, and the LCs at the hospital were excellent about helping us breastfeed. The beginning was tough, but we went on to nurse for 2+ years.
Good luck!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
My scheduled c/s recoveries were simple and fast. Definitely no worse than some of my vaginal delivering friends.
I chose not to BF, but have plenty of c/s friends who BFd.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
My c-section was semi-planned because we were in the process of planning it (due to DD's size) when my water broke. Instead of trying to go through labor and push, we went straight for the c-section when the OR was available. I can't give you a comparison between an emergency c-section and a planned one since mine was certainly not an emergency. I was sore and uncomfortable for a few days, but my recovery really wasn't that bad. I took very little pain medication beyond the higher doses of Motrin they gave me at the hospital and then prescribed and when I did take it, it was because I was afraid of pain (getting the staples removed) or because I overdid it with physical activity too soon.
DD and I had a latch problem in terms of BF'ing, but my supply was not an issue. I pumped a fair amount no problem. It took a few days to get that going, but I think that is normal anyway.