How realistic is this? Advice needed.
JessieCupcake
member
My H is graduating college. This is a really big deal as it has taken years of hard work for him to accomplish this. I am so proud of him. The only thing is the ceremony is June 15. So if LO comes on due date I'm looking at having a 2 week old.
I plan to EBF. I know there is no guarantee that this will work out but I want to try. The ceremony is in NYC and we would have to take the train there. There is also a dinner afterwards. I'm thinking I would be away from LO for 4-6 hours all together.
I know I could find someone to watch him. But I'm worried about feeding him. Would 2 weeks be too early to introduce the bottle? Also I'm worried I'll just feel really crappy just 2 weeks after giving birth.
I've talked to H and told him I would see how I was feeling but honestly I would feel terrible to miss such an important milestone.
Oh and we have agreed that bringing LO is not an option.
Re: How realistic is this? Advice needed.
Is there anyway you could attend either the graduation or the dinner. I agree, you would not want to miss such an important event, but 6 hours will feel long to leave LO in my honest opinion.
That is a tough one, but you may feel great 2 weeks post partum, or you may feel like poo. I went to my SIL shower 3 weeks post partum and got pretty engorged, but other than that I was fine. My LO started on bottles very early and went back and forth with some help (nipple shields). So I think it's okay based on my limited expereince. You may have to play that one by ear.
Congrats to you H and to you too. I am sure it has taken a lot of support from you:)
I hate to be the debbie-downer of the group, but this is going to be extremely difficult timing for you. My DD was 2 weeks late and then I had a c-section. The first two weeks of recovery were really tough. So, it wouldn't have worked for me at all. The first four weeks of breastfeeding and learning to latch can be really hard. And then there's all the emotional baggage (aka 'baby blues'). You may have trouble leaving LO.
If everything works out perfectly - baby comes early, your recovery is smooth, BFing is going well and you're emotionally ready to leave the baby... then go for it!
This or go to the ceremony and skip the dinner/reception.
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This. But You may feel fine, you may not. If you are late, you could be a week or less PP and this would probably not work. I really think it is best to bring LO. Mostly he'll sleep and you can nurse quick and that's that. It is much easier going to anything with a newborn than a toddler, but YOU may not feel so great yet. It is a big deal so I'd do the best I can to go of course, but I think you need to have a few plans in place. ie. just the ceremony, no dinner or play it by ear. Why is it not an option to bring LO?
Also, with all the BF issues we had there was not a chance in hell I would have been able to leave her at 2 weeks.
Is there anyway you could bring your sitter of choice with you, and just have them watch the little one close by while you go to the events? That way if you need to leave for a bit and nurse etc. the baby is available, but you're not having to bring him/her to the events?
We have a very large out of town wedding that we both really would like to attend 2.5 weeks after my EDD. The current plan is that my mother will be coming with us and will keep the baby during the ceremony and reception and I will come in between the two events to nurse and probably come by at least once during the reception as well.
Still, DH and I have talked and if I am not feeling well or have any complications than I won't be going to the wedding at all.
Thanks for all your advice ladies. You have all given me a lot to think about. I think the best bet may be to just plan on going to the ceremony and skip the dinner.
To the poster who asked why bringing LO is not an option, I'm not really comfortable bringing a 2 week old around so many people so soon. Maybe it's just me being a paranoid FTM but I'm hesitant about it.
This is so tough and I'm really torn about it. I think I'll have to play it by ear since I have no idea how I will be feeling at that time.
Thanks again everyone.
This is what I was going to write. I don't think I could go 4-6 hours without nursing in the beginning. I would have been totally engorged and bursting out of my outfit. Not to mention, the baby may be cluster feeding hourly which would make for one hungry baby. Especially after 4-6 hours, that wouldn't really be fair.
If all else fails, I would feel much more comfortable bringing the baby. At that age they mostly eat and sleep, so if you fed on the train LO would be happy for a bit, feed after the ceremony, and so on. Plus, it would make for great photos to have LO there on such a big day. If you kept the baby in the carrier with a cover there wouldn't be much exposure, but I understand how you feel about crowds. If it's anything like the graduations we've attended they are pretty speedy and not much interaction other than with your SO.
We went to a wedding 4 weeks after LO was born and my sister kept him for us so I could sneak away and feed as demanded. He slept the rest of the time.
Well as PP said you may go late, have a c, etc. If everything works out an you deliver 2 weeks prior to the ceremony, for me it would depend on a few things. Where on the island are you (I'm in Nassau and also a conductor on Lirr)? How close is the ceremony to penn? Can you take a cab or will you be forced to take the subway? The 15th is a Friday so if you leave the city between 4-8 pm it will be peak and you may not get a seat. Honestly the baby will be fine, a bottle would work for one feeding without nipple confusion I would think. If you live far out though I would be concerned with how long it could take to get home (ronkonkoma is about an hour and a half from penn, whereas Hicksville is only 40 minutes). It's a tough call with so many factors to consider.
I'm in Nassau about an hour from Penn. I'm not sure how far the ceremony is from Penn but I would take a cab to save time. I guess like you said there's just so many factors. I guess I will have to just play it by ear. But I'm the type of person who likes to plan out things and this has been on my mind so it's kinda hard for me to have to just wait and see.
ditto. I could have never left a 1,2,3 week old- they feed all the time still- like every hour or two. Why do you feel bringing baby would be hard or not an option?
ITA with this. Plus I can think of a couple of other issues. First of all, DS was nursing about every two hours (at the most) and he was super slow, like 30-40 mins a feeding. Also, your supply will most likely be pretty limited still at that point and you may only get an ounce or two at a time when pumping. You'd need to make sure you started pumping from your LO's birth to make sure you have enough to cover the time you are gone. For PP who suggested worst case scenario being that your LO goes 4-6 hours without eating...there is no way I'd leave my 2 week old to be hungry that long, no matter how important the event.
I'm just hesitant to bring him out in such a crowded place so soon. I mentioned it to H and he didn't think it was a good idea to bring LO either. But maybe we need to reconsider this idea though as it would be the most convenient.
I would bring LO. It is more work to bring a pump and find a place to pump, store milk, etc. than to bring a 2 week old baby that will sleep most of the time, can nurse anywhere, and can be worn or chill in a stroller.
If you have an easy vaginal delivery, you will likely feel up to going.
If you have a c/s or a difficult delivery, you will not feel up to that kind of excursion so soon.
Is it possible to bring LO and a sitter to stay with LO while you are at the ceremony? This way you would be with him on the train, and then you could come back and check in and feed him in between the ceremony and dinner?
As far as I have heard that nipple confusion stuff is pretty much BS. But I'm hardly an expert.
It will be tricky but DEFINITELY possible. I think you should go for it because you will regret missing it for years to come.
I have a good friend who I'm sure would do this for me. I guess it would just be a matter of finding a place for her and LO to hang out during the ceremony. I agree with you that I will regret it if I miss it. I will do my best to make it work.
Thanks again for all your ideas and suggestions ladies!