Does it matter to you to have friends with kids?
anna7602
member
I'm in a bit of a social funk. I made this all-out effort to meet new people in Paris and it's working, but none of them have kids. DH says so what, but the reality is that I have the most time to hang out when DD is home with me (after school every day and on weekends). I don't feel inclined to give up time with her just to go hang out with new friends I am not very close with on weekends and I feel like there's only so much going to lunch with people during the day while she's at school that I can do before the relationships just kind of fizzle out.
I miss my friends at home who have kids and with whom I could do things like go to the park or zoo and get some adult conversations in while the kids were having fun. It's not about my friends "understanding me as a mom," it's the mere practicality of not having to always choose between adult-friendly activities and kid-friendly activities. DH thinks I'm just trying to be miserable about this for no good reason.
Re: Does it matter to you to have friends with kids?
I have very few friends who do not have kids at this point in my life for all of the reasons you have pointed out. I did not set out to only be friendly with people with kids, but that is just how it worked out.
You only need one or two of these friends. Have you tried Moms groups or social clubs? I am not really a joiner, but I had to make myself attend some coffees and activities when my DD was first born since all my previous friends were still working.
GL
I just wish I had more SAHM friends.
All my friends (kids or not) want to hang out on the weekends, but the best time for me to do get togethers is a weekday afternoon.
I have made a lot of friends in the last year, and all of them have kids. Mostly about DS's age.
I agree about being a joiner - I've made all my friends by attending groups. I didn't really do that before baby, but I have too much daytime free. I'd look for an expat group, even, if you feel like it might be nice to talk to some people that get it's hard to live overseas. There are tons on meetup for Paris.
I need mom friends. My old non-mom friends are lovely, but even my bff just doesn't get a big aspect of my life now. I can wait it out with her (she's getting married this year and I'm betting on a baby withing 2-3 years), but I need people to help me through this motherhood thing NOW.
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This.
One of the people I hang out with most does not have kids. We knew eachother pre- kid and share a common activity together. But while I was preggo and up until a few months ago we didn't do said activity together because when I was preggo I couldn't and then it was just hard while LO was still so needy. So she would hang out with me and kiddo or we would have her and her SO up for dinner.
Any new friends I have made - um, make that two - post kiddo have kids.