SERIOUS SIL vent (sorry its long)
chrisleath
member
So DH and I was not invited to his family's Easter. Nice right???? This is how we found out...We invited his family to a dinner that saturday since DH has to work on Easter. His parents are coming. SIL said that she doesn't know if they can make it because she is coloring eggs with her kids, cleaning, and cooking for Easter with his parents and grandmother. Cue slap in face right here. They never even invited us to Easter. We had no idea they were even doing anything. The fact that their family had made such a big deal out of "Since everyone works shift work, we pick a day that everyone can make it in the family. It doesn't matter that the holiday is spent on another day, it is important that the family spends it together" just makes it hurt that much more. And his parents didn't even say anything. Then SIL says that I am welcomed to come on Easter if I wanted. DH says that since he is working I am going to my families Easter. She has the nerve to say "I figured, I just didn't want to be rude" SOOOOO many things I could say about that but I won't. Let's just say I shouldn't be surprised by this coming from a person who said on FB that she "hopes DH and I never reproduce" for everyone to see. I just feel bad for DH because his family just kind of forgot about him and didn't even consider him. They kind of just passed over him.
SIL and I have had a lot of difference ever since DH and I got engaged, but never once have I even responded to these sorts of comments (there were more but the "we should never have kids" one was by far the worst) but it is just getting very difficult for me to continue putting in the effort to stay civil to keep the family from entering world war 3. Sometimes saying nothing at all is your best defense and offense. She talked awful about both of on FB (yes as in the new bullying via FB) for about a year after she booted us from her friends on there. Yet she kept my sister (whom she had never met until our wedding day) to read the entire thing. Then after she announces her 2nd pregnancy on FB and that she scheduled the C-section for our wedding day. Of course my sister told me about that. Someone else told DH before I was able to yet my sister took the wrath because SIL messaged my sister who she never meant and talked sh*t about DH, me, and my sister and family...
Anyway after a year of this nonsense (her saying everything and no response from DH, me, or my family) she decides that she is tired of all this and says she is going to stop to keep the family together (as in I am the problem even though DH and I have never said 1 thing to her about anything she has ever said).
Anyways...so much more has been said and done...but I swear she will never change and this is just an example of that. I just wish DH didn't have to go through this with his family. It is like he is slowly losing his family and it tears my heart out. She can say whatever she wants about me, but it feels like his family has to chose between them and us which just is not fair.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. This all happened over the past couple days. I would have put it in the Nightly Confessions, but DH was sitting next to me and its not something I wanted to do in front of him...
BFP#2 6/10/12 ~ EDD 2/21/13 ~ mm/c 7/12/12 ~ D&C 7/13/12
BFP#3 2/23/2013 ~ EDD 11/5/13 Beta#1 125, Beta#2 436, Beta#3 ???
Re: SERIOUS SIL vent (sorry its long)
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
Ugh, Sounds like my Husbands family!! he has 3 sisters and all of them and the mother hated me at one point, my MIL was brain washing them. 5 years later I have 2 of his sisters on board and I couldn't be happier!
Good luck, in laws are hard to swallow, so hopefully this too shall pass!!
Married 07/17/2010
Diagnosed with PCOS 10/20/2010
TTC since Oct 2010
BFP #1 March 31st 2011 Due December 10 2011
Missed m/c discovered June 2nd 2011 at 12w4d
D&C scheduled June 7th 2011 at 13w2d
Found out our baby boy had Triploidy XXY through embryopathology
BFP #2 September 28th 2011 Due June 8th 2012
Missed m/c discovered November 20th 2011 at 11w2d
D&C November 29th 2011 at 12w4d
Found out our baby girl had Monosomy X through embryopathology
BFP #3 April 24th 2012 Due January 5th 2013
Betas falling on 04/26/12 Chemical Pregnancy
RPL testing done, multi nodular goiters on thyroid discovered.
BFP #4 November 22nd 2012, Due August 5th 2013
Betas: 17 @ 9dpo, 62 @ 11dpo, 124 @ 12dpo, 321 @ 14dpo 720 @ 16dpo 13,805 @ 23 dpo
First ultrasound at 6w3d, hb 122 bpm.
Second ultrasound at 7w3d hb 143 bpm
Third ultrasound at 10w1d hb 167-170 bpm
Forth ultrasound 12w1d hb 167 bpm
Graduated rpl program, moving on to regular ob!
It's a boy!
Little man was born August 1st 2013, 7lbs 8oz and 20.5 inches long
TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)
BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d
BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13
BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks
BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby
Do we have the same SIL? Mine doesn't post on FB, but she posts tons of great things on Twitter about us, using both our first and last names.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this and even more sorry for your DH. It's hard when his family seems to be choosing sides, isn't it? Totally breaks my heart, like you said.
I wish I had advice for you, but we've finally gotten to the point where we rarely talk with anyone in DH's family anymore. It's tough sometimes, but we've had a lot less drama in the past year because of it.
I hope that you still have a nice Easter with your family, and celebrating with DH's parents the night before.
Oh man..So sorry you are going through this. I have some issues with DH's mother and one sister. They always undermine me and make me feel terrible. We still haven't decided where we are going for Easter.... I hate being with his family but I usually go for him...