Intro of an infertile baby clothing maker. Ugh.
LeoLauren
member
I posted as a comment to someone else's intro but thought it was a little meak. Anyway, I"m Lauren and they say i have low ovarian reserve. We've been TTC for 18 months, have 3 failed IUI's and I just found out yesterday our IVF #1 failed (beta: 2, was the lab even paying attention?). My husband is taking it worse than I am - although i think we're going to be taking turns at that role for a little while. I live in a community where you start popping out babies almost right after you get married. IF is NEVER discussed. I've never felt more alone so i'd thought i'd join you guys.
What's also ironic about this situation is that I own a baby clothing manufacturing business. My whole life is selling, designing, staring at and going to shows for little tiny baby clothes and baby products. I am at expectant mom baby expos filled with pregnant women my age and i just smile while dying inside. I've used my business as a cover - meaning everyone thinks I'm too busy for kids now, but I can't keep it up much longer bc as soon as another one of my friends get preg, i bascially drop out. I think my jig is up.
Anyway, I already feel better joining in instead of hanging out on the sidelines, googling posts from 2006 about my symptoms....
Re: Intro of an infertile baby clothing maker. Ugh.
Thanks for your nice intro. You'll find lots of kindred spirits here.
I can't imagine how hard it is to be surrounded by all things baby every day! You are an incredibly strong lady.
Welcome to the board. I look forward to getting to know you!
Baby boy Henry born 2015.
Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
I am sorry for your failed IVF. IF sucks. It is hard to keep faking it year after year, especially when you own a business where it is okay and expected to talk abut pregnancy. Kudos to you for keeping it together!
Big hugs to you and your DH! This is a wonderful community and I have only been on this board for a short while, but I feel like I can drop all of my armor at the door and open my heart and soul here. This is my safe place and I hope you find the same comfort here!
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
Me:34 Type 1 Diabetes, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hypothyroid DH:35 Perfect
DX: Unexplained IF
Many IUI's with various meds all BFFN
IVF #1 11/11 canceled due to OHSS
IVF #2 Feb/March 2012 ET of 2 on day 3 4/7 BFP! 5/1 u/s blighted ovum
IVF #3 July 2012 ET of 3 on day 3 7/24 BFP!
Healthy baby girl born at 36w4d on 3/9/13
TTC#3
IVF #5 June 2018- PGS planned, no surviving embryos
IVF #6 August 2018- ET of 2 on day 3 - Chemical pregnancy
IVF #7 August 2019-....?
Thanks so much!! I am so happy you responded. Was feeling REALLY like a loser until i read all these welcomes
. You have no idea about the baby stuff - i go to the biggest baby shows surrounded by everything new and shiny and innovative and i don't even allow myself to go to, say the bugaboo booth just to see or secretly shop. I can't. i keep my head down. Instead of thinking about what i'd do if i won the lottery, i think, one day when i'm preggo, i will walk into the bumbo booth, show my belly, and ask for my industry discount...one day....
actually, i can't even imagine myself preg since this mess has started. Though I am working on visualization techniques for round #2... kinda like The Secret...
TTC since March/April 2010
DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
IVF - January 2012: BFN
FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
Hi Lauren! I am so very sorry you have to be here! Really, you are not alone. This board has been my life line since we were dx and started treatment. the women here are wonderful and all understand which is a rare thing to find.
I can't imagine though how hard it is to be in that industry and suffering with IF. ((hugs)) you are a strong woman. I know how you feel about not being able to imagine yourself pg. Yesterday I was feeling the same about our odds for winning the lottery and us getting pg!!
Welcome
Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
SAIF/PAIF always welcome
a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis
check out my blog!
I was just thinking how liberating this has been! Every time someone asks me, so how many kids do you have to have come up with this clothing line? My standard answer is, "none - that's why i can have time for a clothing line". And they laugh and agree. I NEVER get to tell the truth and say - actually, i am dying for children and have been trying for so many months, but it hasn't happend yet. I'm dying for MY kid to be the baby model and not have to hire someone else's."
AHHHH, I"m FREEEEE! You all know my secret! YAYAYAY!!! Please God, one day I hope to all be dressing your little ones!!!
Hi Lauren and welcome.
I typically poston 3T but am starting to spend more time over here as DH and I navigate the sucky world of IF.
Im sorry for the failed IUIs and IVF. I hope something works for you guys soon.
I whole heatedly know how you feel about feeling alone. We are dealing with MFI and when I got the initial call this is EXACTLY how I felt. I'm fortunate bc I know two ppl in real life dealing with IF and MFI, but I still know how hard it is- especially when all your friends are getting preggo!
I can't imagine how hard it is with your business, but it's evident just from your post how strong you are!
"I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th
Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!
Molly Mildred born 03/31/13
TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast
Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"
Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN
Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle
Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized
1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!
Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015
Hi,
Sorry you have to be here and that your IVF wasn't successful. I can't even go near a baby aisle and only send gift cards to friends that were pg so I can't even fathom how you do what you do every day. You are stronger than you know!!
I also have low ovarian reserve but am also 38. My goal now is to just get one egg and hope it is good. The fact that you had 13 eggs retrieved being DOR is really good and a good indication that it will "eventually" work for you with your "young" age. What levels do you have that had the RE said you had a low reserve? What about your embies? how did they look at ET (cell number and fragmentation).
GL going forward!
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
TTC #1 since 3/2011
DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
DH is a testicular cancer survivor
IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal
IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.
FET #1 10/15/14 - Beta #1: 216 Beta #2: 823
Baby Boy born 7/10/2015
Thanks for the welcome... My amh was .49 and my FSH ranged from 1.49-5.59. Does this sound right, that its a range? My RE is a total robot. Every time i had questions he would have his hand on the door which made me so anxious i never got anything really straight. I rely on my DH alot for interpreting this stuff bc he's in the medical field and just calls my RE with questions - makes me feel a little like Betty Draper - letting the men handle it but I feel like maybe the buffer is better otherwise i would be up all night googling everything. From what i got, we had implanted a grade 2, 8 cell blast and an early blast. I know NOTHING else bc Dr. Automaton told us little else. I am so happy we scheduled an appt with an RE closer to my home months ago and we're going to see him on Monday.
My RE's SART stats were 75% success rates with 68% live births. Sounds high but he only had 41 cases in my age group. New RE's practice is a little lower but they handled over 3,000 cycles that same year. Fingers crossed.
What's PAIF/SAIF? I looked everywhere...
Welcome and very sorry about your IVF not working. I'm a nanny so I kinda know where your coming from. I just wish I had my own child to take care of just like I'm sure you want those adorable baby clothes on your child!
GL and this board is very nice and helpful. PAIF means pregnant after infertility and SAIF means success after infertility.
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!