- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Parenting
honeybee111
member
How do I handle this?
honeybee111
member
in Parenting
DD(26 months) and I are going to visit my parents for the weekend. We are staying with them. It's my grandfather's birthday and my cousin's baby shower, so we are seeing lots of family while we are there. The problem is my brother, SIL, and their son(18 months). They will also be staying with my parents for the weekend. The last time we were all together for Christmas, I felt like my brother and SIL were not disciplining my nephew enough. He has no boundaries at home, so that behavior is continued at my parents' house. He hit/kicked/grabbed/destroyed stuff and there was no redirection. I realize he is younger than DD, but if DD is playing with a toy and nephew grabs it away from her, I don't think he should automatically get it right away because "he is younger"(that was what SIL said). Also, if he hits DD, I think he should be told to practice "gentle touches only", not have the action ignored or laughed about(which is what happened last time). I feel weird stepping in and telling my nephew this stuff because I feel like it's my brother's and SIL's job, but I don't want my DD getting hurt while we're there. I feel like it's almost worse because they're family and I don't want it to make it seem like I'm telling them how to parent their kid.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How do I handle this?
That is a hard one because they are both so young. I think a 26 month old is not really capable of sharing, and obviously an 18 month old isn't either, so if they have a hard time getting along, it is a tough spot to be in. It is one of the reasons that when I started my second child's playgroup, I kept the age limit to 3 months apart, so all the kids are the same age. It is a dramatic difference from my DD's playgroup, which had a 9 month span of ages. Much more pleasant.
I think it is ok to say, "We don't hit" and remove your child to do something else. We have had good luck with completely removing toys that are fought over. If your SIL and B don't discipline at all, it might just be that they are not yet use to it. I really think that the "parenting" part of parenting starts closer to two, at least for me it did. I did time out for DD at 14 months and DS at 18 months, but only for physical hurting of another person or animal and going in the street. It was effective with DD, but not with DS. Your SIL and B just might not have been at a place where they felt discipline was effective yet the last time you saw them.
If he does something to your LO, say something.
Otherwise you can't do much.
this. its ok if it involves your child.
1-hand typing, excuse typos.
If it was my own nephew, I'd have no issue stepping in and telling both kids to take turns with the toy, returning it to my child and then taking it away from my child 5 mins later to give to the other. How will they learn to take turns if someone doesn't show them? Same with gentle touches, I would take his arm, gently stroke it and remind him to be gentle like that.
With that being said, I wouldn't let them play unsupervised. Yah, it's more work for you, but it looks like it needs to be done for awhile.