My first OB appointment- major vent (long)

jamielynnohio · March 2012

My first and last at that office actually. I was not impressed! My OB is not available for appts until May so they had me see a new guy. Okay, whatever.I'm sure he's basically a nice guy, but made me feel dumb with some of my questions and concerns. Hey this is my first pregnancy. I'm kinda new at this. I don't deal with pg people day in and day out like a dr does. Give me a break if I ask a silly question. He wasn't at all concerned with the SCH that my RE saw. And didn't care to do an u/s to check on it or my LO. In fact the only thing he did do was blood work and a urine test. My first exam (not even u/s then isn't scheduled til the last week of April. Okay so I'm suppose to stay on pelvic rest cause we don't know what's up with the SCH? Really? Shouldn't you be a little more concerned besides just saying oh yea it's common and most babies aren't harmed by it. And call me crazy, but one other thing sealed the deal for me in walking outta there and looking for a new OB. (besides the fact they have 8-10 doc's u gotta see throughout your pg and never know who it might be)

After almost 10yrs of marriage, 5yrs of uterine cancer, and 7 years of failed IF treatments we ended up with a mirable BFP, I've really struggled so much with this pregnancy. I feel almost guilty... as if that hasn't been a major emotion throughout this whole journey as it was.

My new OB said, don't let anyone tell you that you are IF. You are not. I think he was trying to be encouraging and like yay, way to go. But, it cut me to the quick. I mean it hurt me so badly. IF has been a part of my identity for sooo long. And for someone to look at me and basically tell me that I've been living a lie for almost a decade... really? Tell that to my drained bank account and hard spots in my arse from so many injections. Tell that to the scale that increased over 60lbs from IF drugs, and depression.Tell that to the bitter betty that I became with every passing baby bump in the grocery. Tell that to the mother's days I spent in bed unable to face the world. Tell that to my marriage which took a beating every time I encouraged my husband to leave and find a woman that could give him a family. Tell that to my self esteem which nearly dwindled to nothing feeling like less of a woman and shamed. Tell that to the embie pics and little dishes my potential LO's lived in that are sitting in my dresser drawer unable to part from them still.

Yes we got a miracle, but IF has and will always be a part of my identity!

(if you made it this far, thanks for reading/listening)

Mayan2011 · March 2012

Wow! I am so sorry sweets. Have you thought about switching OBs?

TJ1979 · March 2012

Oh honey, bless your heart. That does not sound like the right fit for you. To be fair, my OB didn't do anything at my first appt either, just PIAC, doppler (I was already 12 weeks) and answered questions. But I didn't have an SCH or any other concerns other than normal IF person crazies. It is very important that you feel comfortable with your OB. Honestly, you would think an OB would be better educated about IF and the emotional toll it takes. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. GL finding a new OB, one that isn't an ass-hat.

jamielynnohio · March 2012

Thanks love. Yea I've done some research, read online reviews, and asked some friends about their ob's. Gonna call Monday to try to set up and appointment with a different office.

kmc84 · March 2012

*****IFer over here lurking and butting in*****

First of all congratulations to you on your miracle!! And secondly, how DARE he!!! Good for you for refusing to subject yourself to that bulls**t! You need to do what is right for you! Best of luck to you!

psychmusetls · March 2012

this post brought me to tears. I am so, so sorry that your OB dismissed your struggle and your concerns. I agree, you need to find an OB that will be more understanding. Good luck finding a better doctor. :::hugs:::

DebateThis · March 2012

Whoa, none of that is ok. I would be writing a loong letter to the practice manager ASAP and finding a new OB/midwife.

I am so sorry he was such an ass - it is not acceptable and there are good care providers out there, for sure.

missjul61 · March 2012

I'm sorry you had a horrible appt! It's important to be comfortable with your OB so I'm glad you're going to look elsewhere.

jamielynnohio · March 2012

TJ1979:
GL finding a new OB, one that isn't an ass-hat.

Baha this made me laugh! Thanks

jamielynnohio · March 2012

Thank you all so much for your support. I feel blessed to have a group who "gets it". Xoxo

etoyama · March 2012

Huge (((HUGS))). Of course IF is part of your identity! How on earth could it not be?! Don't listen to that stupid dr. I'm glad you'll be looking for someone else. Just as a word of encouragement, I had a SCH with Grace, and it went away and things were (obviously) just fine! I know it's scary though. I'm so happy for you and your sweet husband. Congratulations, again! Xoxo

Faith722 · March 2012

Wow. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I hope your new doc is much more understanding!

inlove731 · April 2012

You have a PM.

jamielynnohio · April 2012

Thanks ladies!!!!

DeputiesWife · April 2012

::hugs::

I am so sorry you have had to deal with all of that.

I hope you can find another OB!

Thinking of you.

doggie mama · April 2012

What a jerk. To tell you that you basically should just act like your IF doesn't exist!

I had an SCH and felt like my OB was a little dismissive about it, but not like your experience. But I also think maybe OBs just don't always get it. When, my OB sent me to my RE (who was great btw) the last thing he said to me was, "Don't worry, you'll get pregnant." How could he possibly say that? He had no way of knowing that!

My first OB appointment- major vent (long)

Re: My first OB appointment- major vent (long)

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