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I can't stand the tackiness!!! (obv a rant)

RFBsbrideRFBsbride member
in Infertility Veterans

Its not secret that I am NOT a fan of second baby showers.  I feel they are tacky, classless and are just a way for parents to be greedy.  There, I said it.

My mother and I just received invitations for my cousin's wife's baby shower for their second child.

Let me break this down for you and you'll see why we're both upset...

My cousin got his gf pregnant 8 months before they were supposed to get married anyway.  As a result they moved the wedding waaaay up and had a wedding/baby shower in one day (can you say White Trash?).  They got married in the morning and instead of a reception they had a HUGE baby shower.

The baby was born 2 months after they were married and  just eight months later, she was pregnant again.  It's with this child that they are having another baby shower.  The kids are only a year and a half apart-17 months to be exact- and they have everything they need.  It's just a way for them to get more stuff.

The invitation actually said "Come celebrate the Mommy-to-Be!". Uhmmm...WHAT?!  She's already a mother FFS! 

 Here's the kicker.... I live 1600 miles away!  I was only "invited" so that I would send a gift!

Im so done with this second shower nonsense.  DONE!!!

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Re: I can't stand the tackiness!!! (obv a rant)

  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member

    That is ridiculous!!!  I know it is petty but I stopped sending gifts for 2nd(or more) babies if I never see the people other than at events where I give them a gift. 

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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  • GregermisGregermis member
    Send a card say congrats and be done with it.  She has no business having another baby shower, and you have no obligation to get her a gift.  Definitely tacky!!!!
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


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  • Aegis2005Aegis2005 member

    So tacky ...

    DH's cousins get a gift card for their first baby and a regular old greeting card for subsequent babies. 

    Me: 35 DH: 37 TTC since 4/2010
    DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
    IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
    1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
    FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
    FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
    7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
    EDD 2/22/2013
    PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
    imageimageimageimage
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • LaLe09LaLe09 member
    I don't even think i'd send a gift.

    DH: Severe MFI/Azoo Me: Compound heterozygous MTHFR
    IVF #1= m/c- methotrexate @6w2d
    FET #1= BFN
    IVF #2= m/c- D&C @8w5d
    IVF #3= Beta #1 9dp5dt= 252, Beta #2 11dp5dt= 417, Beta #3 17dp5dt= 4,952
    US #2 @ 7w2d= twins, baby B measuring behind
    US #3 @ 8w5d= Baby A doing well, no HR in baby B
    *S/PAIF always welcome* BabyFetus Ticker
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  • ohiostategalohiostategal member
    I agree, just send a card with no GC or money.  It's the thought that counts right? Wink  I don't like second baby showers but unfortunately they are very common around here if having the different sex.  All of my friends have had one.  I through lots of baby showers but never offer to through the "sprinkle."
    Dx with PCOS and IR June 2009
    After two losses, third time was a charm.
    pm me for blog link
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  • mm29mm29 member
    imageGregermis:
    Send a card say congrats and be done with it.  She has no business having another baby shower, and you have no obligation to get her a gift.  Definitely tacky!!!!
    this! I joked with my mom before one of my cousins third baby shower, that I to was going to gift her birth control for her gift.
    ::: Married June 2003:::
    TTC #1 since: Aug. 2008
    Me: 34, DOR, MTHFR-A1298C (heterozygous), decreased blood flow to uterus, Mild Endo
    DH: 38, Balanced translocation 5&10, unexplained MFI, normal SA and SCSA
    Tx History: IUI 1&2= BFN
    IVF# 1 W/ICSI= BFN
    IVF# 2: cancelled d/t no response
    IVF# 3= 1 egg retrieved=immature/not viable
    IVF# 4= c/p
    ***CCRM ODWU***
    Found DHs BT and Me-decreased blood flow to uterus
    Recommended DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. Decided to cycle locally
    ***New RE***
    DE IVF# 1(cycle #6) w/pgd, (freeze all): 30R, 23M, 15F, slow/poor embryo development, 4 biopsied, 1 Normal "Norm"; DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. 
    IVF# 6: (OE/DS) cancelled
    IVF# 7: (OE/DS) 1R, 1M, 1F, arrested day 5
    Plan-DE IVF# 2 (cycle #8): DE/DS in May 2015

    http://icanhazbabyz.blogspot.com/
    imageimage image 
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  • illinigalillinigal member
    I agree completely that second showers are ridiculous.  Don't send a gift and dont feel guilty about it.
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • Imanurse03Imanurse03 member
    Sooo tacky! Yep, send a card and be done. And maybe an etiquette book!
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  • RFBsbrideRFBsbride member

    imagebellalou32:
    My friend is having her 2nd baby. Same sex, same month just 2 yrs later. She is VP of bank and he is attorney. I rsvp'd no and didn't send a thing. Tacky! oh ya, and she called it a "sprinkle" but was registered in 2 places. Point being...i wouldn't send ish!

    This is my plan exactly... I declined and I won't be sending anything.  Hell, Ive only met this girl once and I really don't know when I'll see her again so I don't feel bad at all.... 

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  • amethystgrrlamethystgrrl member
    Boo to the ultimate in crass! Sorry :/
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