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July 2011 Moms
Less than ideal birth
Reading the drama below I just wanted to take something helpful away from it. It was helpful to hear some of the struggles. Obviously we all wish for ideal birthing experiences, happy, healthy, easy going children, ideal feeding experiences, supportive family and friends- but we all know the reality is it isn't always perfect and quite often it's the opposite.
I had a perfect med free labor turned emergency c section super traumatic near death helicopter ride icu hysterectomy four days unconscious with a breathing tube separated from LO kind of birth. So yeah , bf was a challenge for me and never really worked out. Talk about being mad at your body failing you.... I struggle with it every day. I cried for months because the formula container even mocked me with the "breast milk is best" label. To be clear- I always planned to keep formula handy for emergencies and always felt it was a personal choice for families, but I hated that my choice was taken. Every time I see a mom watch me take the formula out to fee DS and I catch "that glare" or if they make a comment I just want to tell them my story. How dare anyone judge a mom- you weren't there when they had to make the choice.
So ladies- thank you for sharing your struggles, even if it was in anger. It's always helps to know we aren't alone and thanks for hearing my story.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Less than ideal birth
Argh, I HATE, with a passion that "breast is best" language on the cans!!!!! I know it is and I do not need it mocking me everytime I make DD a bottle!
Is it horrible that in the beginning with DD I would rip/scratch out that part of the label? I had some serious issues with not being able to BF her.
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
What a scary experience for you, I'm certainly glad you and LO made it thru ok, that's terrible!
Please take KT's post with a grain of salt. She damn near starved her baby bc she wouldn't give her a bottle, and had a baby to save a doomed relationship with a pothead, so she is probably the last person to be dishing out advice as to what is best for babies
My birth story
Me: Natural med-free, I'll-go-as-long-as-my-body-dictates, boo on the cascade of intervention prattle prattle prattle
Midwife: Fetal distress
Me: Get him the f'k out.
Midwife: Now I know that you had a birth plan th...
Me: Did I stutter? Because I thought that I just said to get him the f'k out.
.... stuff ...
Me: Yay! I have a healthy baby and I'm not dead!
On an easy-to-hard scale of 1 to 10, Squirmy's birth was about a 1.5. I got the tiniest taste of what it was like to fear for your child's life (never even my own). It was just enough to really solidify my knowledge that I never, ever want to question the decisions of another mother who is making good faith decisions for her child.
Basically our ideas about ourselves and what kind of badges we want to wear should go out the window at the first sign that they're not working for our child.
As a side note, I'm actually glad that I did the whole natural birth education thing. I think that the process was very helpful and allowed me the knowledge I needed to know that the decisions that I was making on the fly were educated ones. It actually helped me to not regret NOT having a "natural" birth.
Nope, not at all! I still don't like it and I think in all honesty I avoid reading cans because of it.
I still love you!
This was pretty much me too.
I also think it's ridiculous that women judge each other so much. I also think it's even more ridiculous that when we're not being judged by other women we think we are in our heads. I have been through hell and back to have kids and the one thing I've learned in the experience is I don't give a damn what anyone thinks about how I parent my child. We're all here, alive and well and that's the end of the discussion for me.
Yeah, we'll see how you feel about me after I steal your baby name. It's on the list for our hypothetical #2. I'm trying to shake it, but I just love it so much.
And yeah, don't we live in a wonderful time and place where we can sit on an internet message board and bicker about what other women should be doing with their bodies instead of, I dunno, fighting off malaria or watching our children starve to death?
LOL. Yep! And if you want my baby name you can totally have it.
There's enough Ruby love to go around. And unlike a couple crazies on the baby name board, I don't care if you "steal" my name. Just do humanity a favor and keep it Ruby not Rubee, Rubie, Rubyie. 
I'm also fully convinced that people on the interwebz just like to b*tch. It's my hope most of us are too busy in real life to judge and worry about this stuff. You know the whole, Martyr Mom Make Me Look Better Than You Because I Care What the Internet Thinks Because It Keeps Me From Actually Working Syndrome.
I know very few crazy moms IRL TBH. I know about 3634636543 here on the Bump though.
The stuff that comes across on the Bump doesn't even cross the radar of people I know IRL.
I had a traumatic birth too. Thursday they said, "Yay, we're going to have you make it through the weekend!" and Friday morning they were in my room prepping me for an emergency c-section and pumping me full of mag. H almost didn't make it to the hospital in time. They were wheeling me out of the room when he was running into the hospital (we lived only 10 mins away from the hospital).
The only saving grace was that magnesium bolus. That stuff is so potent that I was high as a kite. I think I'd be much more traumatized than I was.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
Wow. I'm so happy you and LO survived. I'm so sorry that your birth plan turned out the way that it did.
That's insanely traumatic, and I'm sorry that you have to deal with judgmental fucktards who can't even fathom what you've been through.
My confession should be that other than the measurements, I've never read a formula can...oops. Maybe I should do that every once in a while. ha! I had no idea there was a "breast is best" mention on the cans.
I remember reading your story when I only lurked. I was very worried for you and checked back often to hear how gabe was doing. Be thankful for the drugs, I was completely awake (spinal from the c section) for 8 hours of in and out of the operating room. I signed off on my own hysterectomy. BUT- I knew LO was fine and healthy. My heart really goes out to the mamas that had scary moments with their little ones.
Thank you.
Also- don't bother reading the can. It's not worth it