Why did I watch the video?

Today I'm having a hard day for some reason and I decided to watch the video of the U/S we had at 7 weeks where the baby had a strong heartbeat and all was well. I just want to feel my baby back inside of me, I should be coming up to 14 weeks on tuesday, but instead I'm counting the weeks after my D/C for us to start trying again. I just keeping asking myself why did this happen. Was it the cup of coffee I drank in the morning or was this just what was meant to happen. Since it took my DH and I 4 years to get our first positive pregnancy test, I'm so afraid that it will not happen again. My DH told me that he only wants to go through one more round of IVF and if it doesn't work this time he doesn't want to proceed. He can't stand seeing me hurt so much and he is afraid of what it's doing to my body. I'm so afraid that it will not work next time and then what? I just want to feel that happiness again.