Pregnant after IF
krismott25
member
The feelings of IF never really go away
krismott25
member
My dh, who i might say is pretty awesome, is nesting and was cleaning out all our storage areas. He came across the picture of the two embies we transfered during our second cycle. I couldn't help but be sad for those little lives. Although they never took and we have never suffered a loss of a pregnancy, I still felt connected to those babies. He put the picture up to my belly and said say hi to your brother and sisters. I'm so happy to be where I am today but IF leaves scars that will always be a little raw. It's certainly a struggle that will stay with me forever and even though we've had success I still don't feel part of the fertile group. I'm just praying for all those mama's and daddy's out there who are still trying. How lucky we all are to be here!
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Re: The feelings of IF never really go away
DX: Severe MFI 9/1/11
Because of Undescended testicle at birth
IVF #1 October BFN; 5 snowbabies
FET: November/December 2011
ET: 12/7/11; Beta 1: 12/16/11: 66 Beta 2: 12/19/11: 212! 1st ultrasound 1/3/12! Graduated 1/10/12: heartbeat 160
SAIF Always Welcome
I agree with you. I can't get over that I am going to show up to my a/s on Tuesday and the baby not be alive anymore. I don't think I am ever going to be able to feel safe about this pregnancy!
2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins
3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks
5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks.
D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death!
Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis
5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN
FET - 10/12/10 - BFN
1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN
IVF - May - BFN
6/11 New RE - fingers crossed!
9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred
10/13 - BFP!!
It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!
FSH #1: 10.9 (E2 80.7). FSH #2: 11.8 (E2 72.6). FSH #3: 9.1 (E2 36)
AMH: 2.6. AFC: ranges 9-21. HSG: clear. SHG: normal.
After 3 failed TI cycles, 3 failed IUI cycles, a couple of c/ps, we got our sticky baby on IUI #4 (first with injects).
Feb '12 Clomid/Menopur/Ganirelix/IVIL/Heparin/Acupuncture + IUI #4= BFP!
Baby girl born at 34 weeks on 10/16/12
It's really strange since I was once one of those "naturally pregnant" people. I had no worries with ds's pregnancy. I didn't think anything could or would go wrong.
Now, I feel completely the opposite. Instead of getting happier the further along I get, I get more worried that it will look even more like a baby when it all ends. It is such a sick though process that IF gives us.
~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
My IF blog
I totally agree and could have written this myself! Hugs.
Dx -Ute cancer, DOR from cancer treatments, and embryo quality issues. NOV 2010 CANCER FREE
2005-2011= 3 Rounds of Clomid, 5 IUI's, 3 IVF's- ALL BFN's
After 7yrs TTC, 5yrs of ute cancer, and 11 failed IF treatments, we got a surprise BFP! So thankful!
Gemma Grace born 09/30/12
Phillipians 4:6,7
I totally get this post! I teared up when I read what your DH did with the pic of your embies. I have our previous embie pics for past cycles filed away. I don't pull them out often, but every now and then I get the urge. IF is so tough - those pics represent hope and for an IF'er that is important - and devastating when it is taken away.
:::passes over pretty bandaid for your scar:::
Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
Jeep Doll = Jeepie Doll
April Siggy: April Shower with Gerard Butler mmmmmm
I think IF changes us forever, even after we get pg. I have the picture of two embies we transferred on my fridge. Only one survived and my heart still goes out to the one that didn't.
I'm scared every single day that something bad has happened.
3 IUI's w/Clomid & Ovidrel=all BFNs
3 IVF (2 Fresh, 1 frozen) =BFN
Jan 2012 New RE & Fresh Cycle =BFP!
I just found this board and was looking for exactly this post! I will be 13wks tomorrow and I've been having a hard time getting through my IF thoughts. We had unexplained IF and after 5 rounds of Clomid we found success on our 33rd cycle.
We are getting ready to go public with our news this week and I'm hoping that once the news is out I will be able to relax and just enjoy this blessing.
Thank you for posting this. I appreciate hearing from others that this is a common feeling in our situation. It makes me feel a little less alone in my thoughts.