June 2011 Moms

my feelings are hurt

and I know I am probably being silly

a friend from now 3 classes with DD has a son turning 1 this weekend.  This is a woman who I have semi-regular playdates with too.  I am not invited to this birthday and sort of assumed that she was not having friends- she has not even mentioned the party to me, I know because a mutual friend is making the cake.  Anyway, at the start of our new class today, her mother in law brought her son and another mutual friend was like - oh, I hear you are hosting us this sunday - which means she is inviting friends.

I recognize that we are not best friends and I have no idea how many people she invited,  but i just felt  really hurt and left out.  I know i am being stupid, but I guess I just thought she would have invited me. 

i take classes to meet mom friends and I have, but I keep forgetting that we are not always so close just because of it - sort of like it is not always a batural freindship but situational.  ANyway, feeling a little low and sad. I need to get over it and realize DD will have friends even if I am not the closest with everyone from these classes. 

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Re: my feelings are hurt

  • I'm sorry, I could totally see why you are hurt. It stinks you wernt invited but I would still try to be friends with her. Maybe she just knew the other mom longer.
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  • I can understand your feelings, but try not to take it personally. Who knows what the circumstances are...I'd love to invite all my new mommy friends to DD's bday, but I might not be able to because our living room is too tiny. There are five of them with babies and husbands. We also have a few other friends that would drive up and family. I don't think we can afford to host a huge party, so I might not invite my mommy circle, but I do wish I could. I have one friend that I'm closer with, but that would hurt feelings if I invited her and no one else. What would be the best way to handle it, in your opinion? I love them all, but don't know how we can host so many. Maybe outside? 
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  • i'm sure it's not personal, but i know i'd feel snubbed too. it's really hard to find like-minded mom friends.

    i know that there was a mom friend i seemed to be clicking with when dd1 took a swimming class.  we had a few playdates after that, but it was clear then that we really had nothing in common.  Stick out tongue  so we stopped hanging out.  

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  • I totally understand. I'd feel the same way.
  • I understand your feelings. It kind of brings YOU right back to school when you feel left out from the party. Like when the birthday kid would put the party invites in your mail box and you didn't get one in yours :(

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  • imageDani0701:
    I understand your feelings. It kind of brings YOU right back to school when you feel left out from the party. Like when the birthday kid would put the party invites in your mail box and you didn't get one in yours :(

    when i was in fifth grade, one girl invited EVERYONE else in the class except for me.  that sure stung.

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  • imagemesr:
    when i was in fifth grade, one girl invited EVERYONE else in the class except for me.  that sure stung.

    Here.  Now...that would not be aloud.  They have a rule in the schools that if you bring invites to school, you have to give one to everyone in class.  Same goes for Valentines day.  You have to bring one for everyone if you want to do them.

  • Thanks ladies. I appreciate that you sympathize. It really does take me my own insecurity. I am just annoyed. But I will try very hard not to let it affect my friendship. For all I know she thinks it is weird I did not ask what she is doing for his birthday and I am trying hard not to fish for an invite. 

     And yes sometimes  I do think I force the issue  with done of these women because our kids are similar in age when I really gave so little in common with them. But this girl I do spend time with. I guess I am a pity party of one but I am over it. I have amazi g friends and i am totally awesome!!!  

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