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Success after IF
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Rob&JennRob&Jenn member
in Success after IF

Hi All,

I'm new on this board.  We have been TTC with unexplained IF for three years and are finally expecting our first this October.  

I am very happy, and so extremely thankful for this little bean but I can't seem to shake all the lingering IF feelings. We have told family and some close friends but aren't quite public yet.. I'm constantly thinking of my fellow IFers who will probably feel that same hurt/sadness when I tell them of our success.  So far one friend I've told who was going through IF with me was extremely happy and supportive, so that gives me hope.   

Am I losing it for not being able to just let it go and enjoy this happy time? Did anyone else experience this at all?  Any advice on how to change my mindset?

 TIA 

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Re: New to board

  • MouseygailMouseygail member

    Welcome and congratulations!!  And honestly, while yes, they may feel some sting, as you know yourself (I'm sure) it always hurts a little less when you know that someone worked hard for their bfp...  stupid?  maybe, but seems to be a common thread here. 

    and please, let yourself enjoy this!  it is the best thing ever!!!!  :)

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  • itsmyangelitsmyangel member
    congrats and welcome! no advice.....your feelings are what they are and for good reasons ....but know that even if you have friends IRL with IF that even if it does sting a bit they will be happy for you just the same :)
    1 chemical and 1 loss at 9 weeks prior to DS
    IVF #1 1/10-transfered 2 blasts- DS born 10/2010

    Trying for # 2 since 2012.  2 failed FETS 1 failed IUI.
    IUI#2 4/14/14-- BFP !!!!! Beta #1 14dpiui= 45 Beta #2 16dpiui= 80  Beta #3 18dpiui= 88 (chemical pregnancy)
    March 2015- Chemical pg

    1/25/16- BFP  Beta1 12dpo = 17, Beta 2 14 dpo = 28.. resulted in one beautiful boy born 9/21/16 :)

    Now I'm a stay at home loving life and pursuing my love of photography!!!
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  • dundasgirldundasgirl

    Congratulations!  A lot of IF people have a hard time when they first get their BFP...super happy on one hand, but scared on the other...and yes, thinking about all of the friends you have who are still in the trenches.

    You will start to feel more relaxed as time goes on! 

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  • ALY1981ALY1981
    imagedundasgirl:

    Congratulations!  A lot of IF people have a hard time when they first get their BFP...super happy on one hand, but scared on the other...and yes, thinking about all of the friends you have who are still in the trenches.

    You will start to feel more relaxed as time goes on! 

    Agreed. Welcome!

    Diagnosed PCOS & MFI-Success with IUI
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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  • emmyloustuemmyloustu
    Congrats and welcome! No advice, but ((hugs))) I hope you sort it all out! 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker TTC since Dec '04 Severe MFI-diagnosed 12/06 3 failed Fresh IVFs FET #1 - BFP!! 2 blasts tx on day 6. Beta #1 8dp6dt = 56, Beta #2 = 600, Beta #3 = 5600 My Blog Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • Ali212Ali212 member
    Congratulations and welcome!  I think everything you're feeling is very normal...it does often get easier for some once you have a live baby in your arms but, for many (including me), the sting of IF doesn't ever completely go away.  That said, I think it's often easier to remember friends with IF probably feel more happiness for you than you think....they know what you've gone through and having friend's with success after IF always made me feel comforted that I would have it someday too.
    5 IUIs | 4 IVFs | 2 sweet little girls Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • sherryberry2sherryberry2
    Welcome and congrats!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Mrs.BabbsyMrs.Babbsy member

    Welcome and Congrats!!!!

    I hate to say it but those feelings are staying with me on the pregnancy and they did on the first one!

    You are in good company!

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Savannah
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    Callista
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    Baby Trail Blog
    "Someday we will look at our babies and know it will be worth it. If it was easy, we would not have had our babies, the babies we were meant to have." From Amy052006
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  • Dragonfly1226Dragonfly1226 member
    Welcome and congratulations!!! I felt exactly the same way when I was pregnant with P. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wish I had some words of wisdom to help with that. The only thing that helped for me was time. When I got far enough along that I could feel him move it really helped for me. I also felt a little guilty that I was pregnant while some of my IF friends were (and still are) in the trenches. It sounds like you are being very thoughtful about their feelings though. I know when I was going through treatments I was always happy for other IF friends who had their success. I'll bet your IF friends are happy for you (even if they are a little sad for themselves). Most of all, try to enjoy this time! You waited a long time for it :)
    image
    Unexplained Infertility

    After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

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    TTC #2
    After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!

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    Surprise! Baby #4 is due in March!
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