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Medical Costs - WWYD?

FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member
in Single Parents

I've been doing the math, and before Alien even arrives, I'll have spent 2800 out of pocket (including deductible). I'm expecting another 500-1000 from the hospital IF everything goes right and I have a natural birth.

By law, JF is required to pay HALF of the expenses. I've ceased all contact with him between now and birth. So, I'm not asking for help BEFORE. However, is it wrong to send him a list of the costs (with invoices) AFTER and ask for 1/2? I don't want him to show up at court and say, "Well, she never told me about any medical expenses. Otherwise, I would have helped her out."  He already tried this one when some mutual friends said, "FFR is paying EVERYTHING?! You're not helping with the bills? WTH?!"

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Re: Medical Costs - WWYD?

  • FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member
    That's pretty much what I was thinking. Thanks.
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  • BMenzBMenz
    What you have to do is pay for it in full first (that's the sucky part) and then send a certified legal form (you can obtain it from your support officer) which he has to respond (either by paying it/setting up a payment arrangement) to within 30 days (which is the norm) and if he does neither within those 30 days, then you can send it to your officer and they put a judgement against BD. (This is what happens here in MN....the concept should be the same where you live.)
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  • FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member

    I've already paid most of it, thankfully. And, I have the deductible saved. I doubt he'll help out at all. The first time I asked, early on, he literally started whining like a kid (and I mean LITERALLY, not figuratively) that he only had 300$ at the end of every month after paying his bills. I had asked for 125$ to pay for my two MFM appts.

    I just want to SEND it to him so he can't claim ignorance. He likes to play the victim.

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  • ashleyann331ashleyann331

    I think you and I comment on a lot of each others posts and our situations seem to be similar.

    I'm assuming you have a lawyer right? If so, let him/her know what is going on and have him/her send a letter to the babies father letting him know what is going on that way he can't deny it.I always ask for a copy of all the letter my lawyer sends my STBXH also just so I have my own record of everything.

    With my situation, because of my insurance my bills aren't much at all and I can afford to pay them. My STBXH is legally supposed to be covering all of the bills as they come but since its such a pain to even have a conversation with him my lawyer said to just pay and keep ALL the receipts, bills and financial agreements for when we go to court for custody so he can't try to get out of anything.

    I would just keep a record of everything i.e.- medical bills, any expenses related to meds or things like that, and even baby supplies you buy yourself (my lawyer said since my STBXH is denying that the baby is his, and has made this whole situation ridiculous that I could ask him to cover half that I purchased during my pregnancy) because he can't show up with records that you didn't pay for anything you will have the upper hand. Also, incase you end up needing more than just the basics at your delivery you may have a good shot at getting your babies father to cover half of that as well.

     

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