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Need Advice- Hawaii wedding and planning (longish)

Bizzy80Bizzy80 member
in TTC After a Loss

Good morning ladies-  How is everybody doing today?  Sorry I have been MIA lately.

I am in need of some TTCAL advice.  A little background on me:  DH and I have been ttc since 2010.  My obgyn put me on 50mg Clomid after fertility testing and after we had been trying for a year.  I ended up getting a BFP that cycle but sadly had a missed mc last October.  After the mc I have been seeing a RE.  We are on our 4th and final round of Clomid(monitored) with TI.  Next cycle we are moving on to injectables.

So here is my condundrum.  My SIL and her fiancee are getting married in Hawaii next April.  We have known this since just before my BFP and was planning on having a 1 year old by then (as I was due in April).  Taking a 1 year old worried me a little because of the 13 hour flight but I thought it was do-able. 

So now here we are still ttc and moving on to more agressive treatment and I don't know what to do.  The entire family is starting to plan the trip out and DH and I don't really know if we will even be able to go.  If I end up getting PG in the next 3 months then I would have a newborn and I really don't know if I would want to take a newborn on that long of a flight.  I have never been a mom so this would be all new to me.  If I am not pg in the next 6 months than I will more than likely be able to go.  What would you do if you were in my shoes?  How do you plan for something that you can't really plan for?  Would you take a newborn on that long of a flight?  We are going to sit down and talk things over with my husbands family at Easter.  Thanks in advance.

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Re: Need Advice- Hawaii wedding and planning (longish)

  • Mom2anAngel2Mom2anAngel2 member
    I would plan on going, but get insurance for your trip.  That way if you can not go, you can get your money back.  I have given up on planning my life around the "what ifs" and just feel better making plans and dealing with it later.  Anyway, that is just my opinion.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

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  • prplscrubsprplscrubs member
    I think I would start planning to go. (I know it's easy enough to say but being in the situation I know is hard.) Do you have to buy the plan tickets now? It's a year away. Could you wait 3 months before buying plan tickets? I'm sorry you are faced with such a dilemma.
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  • Bizzy80Bizzy80 member

    imageprplscrubs:
    I think I would start planning to go. (I know it's easy enough to say but being in the situation I know is hard.) Do you have to buy the plan tickets now? It's a year away. Could you wait 3 months before buying plan tickets? I'm sorry you are faced with such a dilemma.

    We don't need to buy the plane ticket right now but I know tickets are cheaper if you get them early.  We do need to tell my SIL's fiancee's father if we are coming though because he has a bunch of timeshares that he is letting us stay in (paying him for) and they book up quickly I guess.

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  • mijakachmijakach member

    I personally don't like to put my life on hold because we're TTC. And also the other way around, we don't like to put TTC on hold because of other things going on in our life.

    A month ago, we actually booked a cruise in September knowing full well that if I became pregnant in the next 2 cycles, we wouldn't be able to go (since you can't be more than 24 weeks). I didn't want to wait until the summer to book the cruise because most likely what we wanted wouldn't be available. So now, either we have an awesome cruise to look forward to in September, or I'll be pregnant this month which means no cruise and we'll lose out on the deposit. And if I knew I was having a baby, I don't care about losing a small deposit. Kind of a win-win situation.

    Do you know when you have to book the flights and everything? I wouldn't book it yet if you don't have to. And if you do end up booking things, you can just cancel if you have to. You'd have to pay a small fee and you'd probably get a credit to use towards another flight. But I honestly think that you should cross that bridge when you get there. Don't put your life or TTC on hold.

    imageimageimage
    BFP #1 ~ EDD 5.20.2012 ~ MC 10.1.2011
    BFP #2 ~ EDD 11.15.2012 ~ CP 3.7.2012
    BFP #3 ~ DS born 12.03.2012

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  • Mrs.DeliaMariePMrs.DeliaMarieP member

    imageMom2anAngel2:
    I would plan on going, but get insurance for your trip.  That way if you can not go, you can get your money back.  I have given up on planning my life around the "what ifs" and just feel better making plans and dealing with it later.  Anyway, that is just my opinion.

    This exactly.


    BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
    BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
    BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
    BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
    Our little man is getting bigger every day!
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  • Bizzy80Bizzy80 member
    imagemijakach:

    I personally don't like to put my life on hold because we're TTC. And also the other way around, we don't like to put TTC on hold because of other things going on in our life.

    A month ago, we actually booked a cruise in September knowing full well that if I became pregnant in the next 2 cycles, we wouldn't be able to go (since you can't be more than 24 weeks). I didn't want to wait until the summer to book the cruise because most likely what we wanted wouldn't be available. So now, either we have an awesome cruise to look forward to in September, or I'll be pregnant this month which means no cruise and we'll lose out on the deposit. And if I knew I was having a baby, I don't care about losing a small deposit. Kind of a win-win situation.

    Do you know when you have to book the flights and everything? I wouldn't book it yet if you don't have to. And if you do end up booking things, you can just cancel if you have to. You'd have to pay a small fee and you'd probably get a credit to use towards another flight. But I honestly think that you should cross that bridge when you get there. Don't put your life or TTC on hold.

    I completely agree on not putting your life on hold and planning around ttc.  The problem is that my husband is such an analyzer and planner it is ridiculous.  He also wants to make sure that his sister and parents know that the possibility is there that I may not be able to go.  We will probably wait on booking things for as long as we can and also get trip insurance just in case.  Thanks!

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  • atmidwoodtobeatmidwoodtobe member
    I would definitely say keep on trying and plan to go. Planning your life around the what-ifs is exhausting and so not worth it! You'll be much happier living in the now. I agree with PP about trip insurance. That way you're covered no matter what. Smile
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