One and Done

Saltina11 · March 2012

Seriously considering it. Just have to weigh the pros and cons.

I miss sleep. MH says he misses sleep too, but that it's worth it. He's not the one getting up all *&^%$# night long.

Are there any only children on here (I mean, of us, the moms)? Did you love it/hate it?

MamaCoffin · March 2012

I'm not an only child, but my brother is much younger than I am. I remember life without him. We were so distant in our interests and development that sometimes it was like I was an only child. I love my brother dearly and I'm glad to have him. We are extremely close now that we are both adults. But growing up I could have taken it or left it. Does that make sense?

On another note. We are definitely one and done.

Saltina11 · March 2012

Yes, that makes sense.

How many years difference between you and your brother? Part of me thinks wait 5 years and have another... but I'll be SO OLD to be doing all this baby stuff all over again. I'm tired now!

MamaCoffin · March 2012

Saltina11:
Yes, that makes sense.

How many years difference between you and your brother? Part of me thinks wait 5 years and have another... but I'll be SO OLD to be doing all this baby stuff all over again. I'm tired now!

6 1/2 years.

CocoBrynne · March 2012

I'm an only child and I loved it. I feel like I had an extra close bond with my parents, especially my mom, as a result, and we still are extremely close now that I'm an adult

AmandaP678 · March 2012

Saltina11:
Yes, that makes sense.

How many years difference between you and your brother? Part of me thinks wait 5 years and have another... but I'll be SO OLD to be doing all this baby stuff all over again. I'm tired now!

Thats how feel, now or never. No need to get used to sleeping again etc and go through it again, just do it all at once lol

CanaryIsland629 · March 2012

Right now I don't want to think of having to go through the last 9 months all over again but I want to make sure there is a sibling cause one day we will be gone and I don't want her to be all alone.

FutureMrsWittig · March 2012

My MIL is an only child and lost both her parents and it's made her incredibly bitter that she "has no one" now.

That said, the woman is not normal...

mainemommy · March 2012

My dads an only child & he didnt like it at all. He was lucky that he had lots of cousins his age as a kid though.

Marsee · March 2012

CanaryIsland629:
Right now I don't want to think of having to go through the last 9 months all over again but I want to make sure there is a sibling cause one day we will be gone and I don't want her to be all alone.

This. I have had a terrible time adjusting to being a mom and can't imagine doing this all over again (though DS has been a GREAT baby). But, I really think that DS needs a sibling. I am completely torn on the decision. DH and I will start talking about it after DS is 1yo.

Kimmy9j · March 2012

My Husband is an only child and want us to produce a football team.

My Brother was 6.5 years older and when we were really young we were close and as adults we very close but in middle in varied between disdain and him being over protective. I now cant wait to get pregnant, although were waiting till Z is one

Pinkpeppers · March 2012

I'm an only child, hated it as a kid but okay with it now. Biggest problem is parents and I were on the east coast and all relative were on the west. I also grew up in a gated community with a bunch of old people and no kids. That being said, DS will probably be an only child, but with a much different upbringing. We live very close to all of DHs family. DS has grandparents that adore him and a cousin his age so he won't be lonely the way I was.

Little&BigPea · March 2012

I think we are one and done. I really want another because I had never "planned" on having an only child. However, DH is putting his career on hold to stay home and raise DD. I know he is already looking forward to her going to school (pre-school) so that he can get back on the audition train. If we wait the 3-5 years I want to have between them then he'll have to wait 6-10 years before they are both in school so that he can get back to work. I don't want to make him do that.

However, if for some reason he becomes a rich and famous drummer and I can quit work then I am getting knocked up right away!

hmmmmmm...Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket...

clineak · March 2012

CanaryIsland629:
Right now I don't want to think of having to go through the last 9 months all over again but I want to make sure there is a sibling cause one day we will be gone and I don't want her to be all alone.

This. Although I'm not an only child, one of my best friends is. She has said, on numerous occasions, that being an only child has its perks, but she dreads the day her dad passes away (mom is not in the picture) because she'll already be a wreck, but will be responsible for making all his final arrangements. Also, once he's gone, she's left with no one except her H's family who she isn't that fond of.

MISSMOLLY1214 · March 2012

jen+m+langtake2:

I'm not an only child, but my brother is much younger than I am. I remember life without him. We were so distant in our interests and development that sometimes it was like I was an only child. I love my brother dearly and I'm glad to have him. We are extremely close now that we are both adults. But growing up I could have taken it or left it. Does that make sense?

On another note. We are definitely one and done.

Exactly! My brother and I are 10 years apart. We are much closer now that we are adults. We each had our "only child" time at home. I had the first 10 years and he had since he was ten as an only child. It worked.

We are definately one and done also. We are getting so much shiit for it too. Not from our family, because they understand, but from strangers. I had a random lady tell me I was not a true parent until I had at least two kids. Biitch!

damabo80 · March 2012

My sister is 7y older, and my brother is 10y older. So, I was an only child from age 10+, in a way, since they were both away at college/out of the house. It was nice having my parents all to myself, and the household all to myself. But, as our parents age, it's nice to have someone else to share that burden with.

I know the fear of the "only child syndrome"...IMHO, it has more to do with the parents than whether they are an only child or not. I had a friend who was the classic "only child"....met all the stereotypes to a T. But, she had a cray cray mom and dad. She was destined to turn out "not quite right".

GeneGoddess · March 2012

DH was an only child and hated it. I had one sibling. We both want two or three. Have two now and are debating if we have the energy for #3.

swimiz500 · March 2012

I am seriously considering one and done too. I have a brother, but we are not close at all. DH is not close to any of his 3 siblings. As a kid, I kind of went off the deep end after my brother was born, I really wanted to be an only.

Now my dad, who is an only child, really thinks we should have another. I don't know what we will end up doing, but I certainly don't want to have another child out of guilt.

Kara03 · March 2012

I would like to have another child but just can't imagine myself having another one. My brother and I are 7 yrs apart and were not close at all growing up. We are just starting to become close. I always wished I had a sibling who was close to my age. Now I have to figure out if I want to have another one or be done.

Abbney · March 2012

My godmother was from Italy and her husband was from Germany. When they had kids their blood didn't match and their son was born with a tumor in his throat (he's fine now, healthy adult) but her OB told her to never have anymore children because they would be born with birth defects. She thought if anything happen to them, all their family is in 2 different countries, and he would be all alone. So she got pg again and had a daughter with a clef pallet (she is also fine now)

Little&BigPea · March 2012

damabo80:

My sister is 7y older, and my brother is 10y older. So, I was an only child from age 10+, in a way, since they were both away at college/out of the house. It was nice having my parents all to myself, and the household all to myself. But, as our parents age, it's nice to have someone else to share that burden with.

I know the fear of the "only child syndrome"...IMHO, it has more to do with the parents than whether they are an only child or not. I had a friend who was the classic "only child"....met all the stereotypes to a T. But, she had a cray cray mom and dad. She was destined to turn out "not quite right".

I am really hoping that is right too! That is my fear and why I always wanted at least two, but because I didn't want a child with "only child syndrome." However, DH and I just agreed today that we are one and done unless something happens and I get to become a SAHM... So, we are pretty much one and done.

jetskreemr · March 2012

I'm an only child. I hated it. So now I want another LO ASAP so our LO won't have to be an only child like I was.

Cindilouwho24 · March 2012

I thought we were one and done, then oops. I now have a DS that will be 9 and an 8 month old.I love it. My son is so good with the baby.

Firefly9 · March 2012

I'm an only, but when to an in-home daycare for 12 years. The daycare provider was like my second mom, and her kids and some of the kids she watched were like brothers and sisters.

I didn't like being an only. It has its good sides--don't have to share toys or the backseat, but it was lonely at times. I really don't want Liam to be an only, though my husband and I were having this discussion last night, but HE'S the one who is thinking one and done (which is why I need an 8-5 schedule NOW).

Edited to add: However, like CocoBrynne said, I am close with my parents. WAY closer to my parents than my husband is with his, but that has nothing to do with his not being an only. And like someone else said, when when of them dies some day, it is going to be a lot of responsibility having it be me and the other parent having to deal with everything, especially since we don't live in the same town. And even more when the other one passes.

I didn't HATE being an only, but I really wish I'd had a sibling.

jlsimon56 · March 2012

Before we TTCed, I told DH that I only wanted a baby if we were going to have more than one. I didn't want just one. I still feel the same way. He mentions every once in a while that he loves LO so much and thinks we'd be ok with just her. I obviously love her...but I want her to be a big sister!

DH's ideal is 2 kids. I want 3 or more. But I am old(er) so we'll probably have 2. I am a twin (fraternal) so I actually REALLY want twins - that would give me my 3 kids, haha!

I have a younger sister (4 years younger) and a younger brother (11 years younger). We are all so close, it's almost annoying. :-)

Timshel17 · March 2012

I'm an only child and I don't like it. I'd absolutely love to have siblings, and my parents would have liked more kids, but my mom had endo, then a tumor in her uterus and she had to have a hysterectomy when I was very young. I don't think I have "only child syndrome" (though, if I did, I guess I wouldn't admit it, right? haha!) I think my H is closer with his parents than I am, and he has a great relationship with both siblings. I'm thankful he has siblings so our kids can have cousins (hopefully!).

AsOctoberFalls · March 2012

I really want more than one; however, until DS's medical issues get sorted out and he starts sleeping better, I really can't imagine being pregnant. Plus, I need to get back in my stride at work. I'm doing fine, but I'm having to take a lot of time off for DS's doctor appointments and such. I think it will be at least a year or two before we consider another, but we can't wait TOO long since I'm 32.

DH used to want 4 but has mentioned many times since DS was born that he's not sure he wants another. We both love DS so much, but it's been a tough adjustment.

DH and I each have one sibling, but we're not close with them.

katie4253 · March 2012

We are 80% sure we are one and done. We'll see in a few years.

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