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Parenting
Mom's of 3 kids...
What are the major differences of having 2 kids to having 3 kids? My hubby and I are trying to decide if we want one more.
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Re: Mom's of 3 kids...
The difference: Your level of sanity.
Seriously though.... in OUR experience (mine and DH's, and all of my friends who have 3 kids) - the difference is night and day.
When we had 2 kids, we thought "What's one more?" And even after my daughter was born - the first few weeks I thought "why does everyone say we were crazy for having 3?" After baby stopped sleeping 23 hours a day... I realized why we were crazy lol.
Holy crap. One more = constant chaos. My mind is always spinning (or is it my head, or both?) lol.
Our boys are 7 and 5. When our daughter was born, they were both almost 6 and almost 4. So a pretty big age difference. And even with that age difference comes chaos. I have very little time to myself.
BUT.... even with all that, I wouldn't take back our decision for anything. Even with our life in CONSTANT chaos mode.... it's still great. And I love my kiddos and I love our life!!!
But I do miss my mind. It's been gone for awhile now.
~L~
Mommy to 2 boys, ages 7 and 5 and a little girl who is 1.5
The biggest difference I notice is when we are out. Whether it is out at my oldest son's soccer/football/baseball games... whether it is out at a theme park, or braving it at the beach, or even the park.... THAT'S when the chaos is most evident. I prefer not to bring the three kids anywhere that's not "enclosed" by myself (if I can help it). Taking the kids to the beach is NOT an option for me now if I don't have at least one helper; DH or a friend who doesn't have kids.
Also, you will find that with 3 kids... getting all 3 to look at a camera at the same time is an impossible task. lol.
~L~
Mommy to 2 boys, ages 7 and 5 and a little girl who is 1.5
We're in the same boat....to have a 3rd or not. I've actually heard from everyone that the jump from 1-2 is much worse than 2-3 or even 3-4.
Unlike the previous poster, I didn't find it that much of a change (from 1 to 2 was harder). My kids are closer, 17 mo. and 24 mo. apart, so I was 3 under 4. I take them everywhere by myself. We go to the pool and the beach all the time in the summer. I have driven them on long car trips by myself since they were babies (went to TX from CA last summer, DH drove back with us but I drove out alone all for three days and was there a week before he got there). It is a little crazier, but it is fun.
I thought that going from 2 to 3 was cake. You are already used to multi-tasking. Though my kids are each 2 years apart, I have the big girls and the baby. Alex & Taylor play GREAT together and Dylan is just getting to the point of playing with someone else.
Dylan is finally getting old enough that she can do something to stay busy at her sister's activities, so that is making life easier. She will color, play with stickers, etc.
~L~
Mommy to 2 boys, ages 7 and 5 and a little girl who is 1.5
Personally, I felt like going from 2-3 was easier than the jump from 1-2. Obviously going from 0-1 rocks everyone's world, and then adding the second child was so hard on us because there was never a break...we both always had a child...and then with the third, we both still always have at least one, so it just wasn't as big of a shock to the system. Of course I'm talking about the times when we're both here to deal with the kids, like in the evenings, we have always kinda "divide and conquered" in that respect, so I think even adding a 4th wouldn't be *that* big of a deal.
Honestly, my boys are both in school 3 mornings week, and then my older one actually goes 4 mornings...so on that morning when I have my two youngest home, it's not any easier than it is with all three here. Of course the mornings with just the baby are the easiest!
For me, the most difficult things are just the logistics of going places with all three of them, and scheduling things (like the baby still naps twice a day, but the boys are starting to have lots of activities). We thought about putting our oldest into a private kindergarten next year, but it just wouldn't work out with needing to pick up our other son from preschool, and having the baby take her nap each afternoon. I LOVE having three kiddos though, to me the pros far outweigh any minor cons
We have 4 with gaps of 20 months, 15 months, and 26 months. Hands down, 2-3 was the hardest. But it was that way for most people I know IRL too. Having 4 has been much easier than 3 for me and I take all 4 out every morning to take my oldest to his 2.5 hour pre-k class. I took the older 3 to my NSTs and OB appts for #4, to the food store, playground, etc. I go crazy if we stay in.
2-3 was hardest for me bc #1 had just pt'ed before DC #3 was born, #2 weighed about 30 lbs and did not walk until #3 was about 6 weeks old, and #3 was my fussiest baby/ worst sleeper. Having 26 months between kids feels like an eternity. For the first time in 4 years I only have one crib and I'm down to my last kid in diapers. The chaos isn't bad here( just the average amount of chaos) but I'm getting very nervous for the school years and extracurricular activities.
All of that being said, most people I know have 12-18 month gaps between kids and it doesn't seem to get easier until the older ones are more independent. My kids are shy and listen relatively well so they make life pretty easy for me lately. And I can't imagine life without any one of them;)
The only negative (big) difference is that we tend to split up the family more now. Instead of all of us going someplace, it is easier for me or DH to stay home with 2 (or all 3) and the other running errands or getting done what we need to. Some families start doing that after 1 child or 2, so it is all relative. I don't know if that will change as DS3 gets older... I hope so... but I doubt it. That makes me sad because I really like to do as much as possible together as a family while the kids are young and we can. That is probably the only thing that bothers me from time to time.
Everything else is a pro and con IMO. Baby has to cry more than my other ones did, while I am tending to another child, but also has more entertainment (2 doting big brothers) than my others.
With 3, I find I am busier than I ever was... but I have found I actually get more done (cleaning etc) because I take advantage of any break I get, because I don't know if I will get another (in the past I would procrastinate).
Hardest adjustment for us was 0-1. Personally, I think it is really tough to learn to be a parent. In many ways, #3 is more of what we already were doing.
Bottom line is we wanted a bigger family. It's definitely more work, but totally worth it. We just didn't feel complete with 2. Having one more for us was completing the family and with that on the "pro" side (even if there was nothing else, which obviously isn't the case), nothing on the "con" side could outweigh.
Ditto all of this. Someone ALWAYS needs something. There's less downtime than before, for sure.
Married since 8.17.03
Mom to Richard 7.24.05, Ava 3.27.08, Isabella 5.19.09 & Timothy 10.22.14