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Single Parents
mamastich
member
Single mama - beautiful baby - learning to live
What you do.. visit or not?
mamastich
member
So Me and STBXH split I left VA and moved to CA, Im visiting friends and will be in VA for one night and he knows. I was planning on letting the inlaws come up to see DD but they bailed. He knows I will be there and will asked to see her. Hes been an a$$ to me and not made much interest in DD but he pays his child support and I really dont want to be the ugly on.
Do I take a minute to see him while Im the area or leave it to him to fly to CA when he makes time for it?
These kind of things make me feel so lost and sad.
Single mama - beautiful baby - learning to liveThis discussion has been closed.
Re: What you do.. visit or not?
Ask if he wants to see her before you leave, but on your terms. Shoot him an email or text saying, "Hey, I'm in town for a few days and thought you might want to see DD. Let me know."
When DD gets older, you want to be able to say you made every effort to get him involved in her life. You don't want to tell her, "Well he never called so he never saw you." Better it go, "Honey, everytime I was out there, I let him know we would love to see him."
Trust me, this conversation WILL happen at some point. I was able to be completely honest with DD and say I would never stop offering to let him see her.
Thank you, I know for her it's the right thing but I'm struggling wih seeing the man who hurt me. Nervous about the emotions it will bring up.
Whats a reasonable amount of time? I was thinking meeting at a Starbucks or somewhere public. He's never been abusive but he makes me nervous.
I understand. It was hard for me, too. My ex dumped me when he found out I was pregnant, and we got back together for a while, but once I started showing, he dumped me again. He didn't want anything to do with either of us for a long time.
We did McDonald's a few times so she could play when she was toddler age. He didn't see her at all from 3 - 12, and the next time was at the movies with lunch afterwards. I would say meet someplace public, but semi-intimate. You two need to talk, as well. (I'm frowning a little at Starbucks, but at 32w pregnant, the smell still makes me sick...that might have a lot to do with it) 2 hours is good. If things are going well, you can always make it longer. If they aren't then 2 hours isn't that long to stick out.