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2nd Trimester
over shaddowed...
I'm 12w5d and just made it public that I'm pregnant and posted my US pic on facebook. My cousin replied to my post that my other cousin and his wife are having a baby in October too. Then my aunt sent me an e-mail that their baby is due 10/24... 2 weeks after me.
This is my first baby and their second and I'm rather put off by the fact that I feel like I'm going to be compared to her for the next 6 months. It sounds pretty selfish if I think about it, but I was looking forward to a little bit off attention to myself and now it feels like we're going to be grouped together for everything :-( Maybe I'm just hormonal and I'll feel differently later on... but for now I'm pretty ticked off.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: over shaddowed...
I seriously wouldn't be upset by this. If you have cousins that are close together in age, this is what happens. One of my cousins had a baby 6 months ago, another is due in two weeks. Then comes me. And after I have mine, it won't be long before someone else is pregnant.
No one is trying to overshadow you, but thousands of people have babies every day, It doesn't make your pregnancy any less special.
Chalk it up to hormones.
i totally understand how you feel. about a month after we found out we were pregnant, my in laws announced that they are going to be adopting a baby about 3 months before my child is supposed to be born. i am royally pissed off, because it's almost like she is jealous that i am going to be having a baby...
am i crazy, or just pregnant?
DS #1 Born: 10/03/06, DS #2 Born: 08/06/12 My Cooking Blog
I'd try to look at it positively - your babies are gonna be so close in age and will be great playmates over the years!
This! There was 5 of us pregnant at the same time when I had DD and this time, my sister and I are both pregnant and it's great! I was always really excited that I wasn't the only one having a baby since it's nice to have someone else going through the same thing as you and supporting each other = )
i'm actually feeling kinda lonely being the only family member/ friend pregnant right now. i was pregnant with someone else with both of my m/c and it was nice having someone to share experiences with.
4/26/11 HPT+ 4/28/11 +Blood test! HCG 67 5/24/11 Blighted Ovum.
6/11-11/11 Non ovulatory cycles
12/18/11 HPT+ 12/20/11 +Blood Test HCG 165 12/27/11 Beta test HCG 6411
12/29/11 Beta 11264 1/30/11 Wiggler w/ HB 160+
Grow Baby Grow!!!! Please be our rainbow!
Rainbow Born 8/22, so in love with our little girl!
True, but they didn't really need to put their news in her FB announcement.
This is how I feel! I would love to have a family member pregnant and due close to me! I have two SILs who were due one day apart last August, and they had their babies one day apart. I would have loved someone to be pregnant with me, and then I know that our babies will grow up together. Right now, this LO will have a two cousins a year older, and a cousin 8 months older.
It definitely feels lonely not going through this with a SIL. However, I do have a friend who just found out she's pregnant, so I'm really excited about that.
This.
Huh, I suppose not....a reason why I'm not on FB and have never been. It seems to cause many people unwanted drama/hurt feelings/etc.
DS #1 Born: 10/03/06, DS #2 Born: 08/06/12 My Cooking Blog
I would understand MAYBE if this was regarding wedding being thrown in the same month or something like that, but obviously these people didnt have babies in order to spoil your moment. I think it must be pregnancy hormones and I hope you come to your senses. New babies are entering the world! This is exciting and thrilling for everyone and now you have someone to share your pregnancy complaints, knowledge, and questions with!
I think it is a little self-centered to feel "overshadowed" by people you know being pregnant at the same time as you. Maybe they shouldn't have posted it right there on your FB announcement, but still.
This is going to probably sound harsh but it is true..the world does not stop just because you are pregnant. Other women have a right to be pregnant as well.
Enjoy your pregnancy and be grateful. Be happy for others and share in their joy as I am sure they are going to share in yours.
You are royally pissed off because your in laws are going to do something to try and improve the life of another child? Try being happy for them..or for the child they are adopting.
I'm going to go with crazy on this one. They are giving a child a home who needs one. It takes a long time to get adoption paperwork together and is not something people do on a whim or take lightly. Maybe she should be pissed that you decided to exercise your reproductive rights when she already knew she was going to adopt.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
For SuzyQ and all March 15 loss moms
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Not necessarily. First time moms are more likely to be overdue, second time moms less likely, and any of their babies could be born within the same 3 or 4 weeks. Her relative's babies could actually be born first. Plus babies develop at such different rates that being 2 weeks older definitely doesn't guarantee reaching milestones first.
To the original poster... I get that it is fun to have some pampering and attention while pregnant, and when the others have already done the whole pregnancy thing before, it could make you feel like your experience is less special. Don't let that affect you too much. My advice is to leave social networking out of the whole pregnancy and baby experience. You'll be happier and less likely to compare yourself, your symptoms, and your baby to others. Enjoy every minute of your pregnancy for YOU and YOUR baby and not for anyone else or anyone else's attention. It really is a fun time with a lot to look forward to. If you start comparing yourself (and eventually your child) to others, you're in for a lot of disappointment.
andplusalso It wasn't even the pregnant cousin that responded to her post. It was a different cousin informing her of a mutual cousin's pregnancy (at least that is how I read it). It sounds like the cousin was just excited to have two expectant cousins.
I used the word cousins so much in this reply.
Cousins.
I love this - thank you! I didn't think the FB thing was a big deal in the first place but I avoid FB stuff, so, I guess I don't know the proper 'etiquette.'
DS #1 Born: 10/03/06, DS #2 Born: 08/06/12 My Cooking Blog
I waited until half way to announce mine on there. The week I finally did 3 others did the same that very week, each a day after the other (starting 1 day after my announcement). 4 announced weeks before I did and they are due after me.
If you are so bothered by others pregnancy posts you might consider
-hiding their posts
-not posting about it on that site
-restricting who can see/reply to your posts
To be honest with you, it never ends. Before you know their baby will be smiling before yours, crawling, walking, etc. Not to be harsh but get used to it.
Enjoy your pregnancy and don't get caught up in the comparisons. Just my two cents.
If you think sharing this with your cousins is awful - my sister is due 11 days after me. However I have found that sharing this with someone I am close to is amazing! We share our stories and doctors updates and if one doctor has a tip we share it with the other. And because this is my first and her third she is full of information!!
Hang in there!
My husband was going to announce our pregnancy to his bandmates when we cleared our first trimester. Just as he was about to tell the guys our news, the guitarist announced that they JUST found out that they are expecting their second. It was funny because it really bothered my husband.
I thought it was funny. But, I was also no longer throwing up all the time so I was in a good mood.
As a young woman who is adopted into a very loving family, I understand how incredibly important and special adoption is to everyone, even those who have their own children.
Please note: These are my husband's PARENTS who are adopting--and I know of MULTIPLE couples who would do ANYTHING to be able to adopt this baby.
So, thanks for the judgement. I really appreciate it