ok ladies, how bitchy and demanding should I get?

amd1982 · March 2012

with me new RE? She wants me to try Clomid only for the next couple months, and said that she will do a p4 test on me if I don't get AF within a reasonable amount of time after supposed O (usually I have an LP of 15-19 days, depending).

However I don't think I'm O'ing this month - she isn't having me do a mid-cycle ultrasound since I was all clear on the cd3 scan. Please don't flame for this - yes I know it's important to be monitored, but she said since I responded well last time (didn't overrespond and make tons of follicles) and since we're OOP that it was ok. (mind you this is a well respected RE at the #1 reproductive hospital in boston). I'm really losing faith in that mentality. She said that just because I responded last time to 50mg of Clomid didn't automatically mean I would respond this month. But here I am on cd17 and I still haven't received a +OPK after taking clomid 3-7.. I emailed her asking about trigger and even offered to pay full price to go in for a mid-cycle ultrasound, since I told her the only time I actually O'd is with the trigger shot. She said no shot this month. I feel like she's being dismissive because all I have is PCOS and we don't have any other major issues. She made me feel like "oh you're 29, it's going to take you a while you need to understand that since you have pcos." well no shi**, but if I'm not ovulating and you're not taking me in for ultrasounds, how is it ever supposed to work?

kaj0502 · March 2012

I would tell her that maybe you'd like for her to go about things your way... After all you are the patient and you are paying for her services.... But try not to be too bitchy about it, unless of course she keeps putting you off.... at that point feel free to be as bitchy as you need to be to get her to listen to you... Sometimes you just gotta put your foot down.

Shayliz · March 2012

I can't understand why she wouldn't monitor you, I would demand it.

Sarahlou614 · March 2012

As much as it sucks, sometimes you just have to be your own advocate. Ask for things rather than letting her tell you no or not suggesting them. If she still doesn't go along w/ what you want then maybe it's not a good fit and you should get a second opinion.

Good luck!

kleigh926 · March 2012

My RE is the chief of the division at a world-renowned research hospital and the only monitoring he was planning on doing was a CD 21 u/s and b/w. At first I was going to go along with it, but then I realized you have to advocate for yourself. If you don't feel comfortable with it and it doesn't make sense to you, speak up! (And FWIW, it doesn't make sense to me either. I think you definitely have reason to question her.)

Native+Girl · March 2012

amd1982:

She said that just because I responded last time to 50mg of Clomid didn't automatically mean I would respond this month.

She just gave an arguement for why you need mid-cycle monitoring. What is it with these REs? Mine didn't want to do it either. Made a remark about how it's more expensive. But I insisted. I know it's not going to be cheap, but this is what I'm here for. I don't need guesses and estimates. I need results. Come to find out, insurance covered it so it was a non-issue.

I'd tell her you're fully aware of the financial requirements and you appreciate her trying to make this process as least costly as possible, but you're prepared to do whatever is necessary to make this work and the financial aspect is yours to figure out.

violetmarie61516 · March 2012

Sarahlou614:

As much as it sucks, sometimes you just have to be your own advocate. Ask for things rather than letting her tell you no or not suggesting them. If she still doesn't go along w/ what you want then maybe it's not a good fit and you should get a second opinion.

Good luck!

This. Try not to jump the gun and come off as a *** right away. Push for what you want and see what happens.

Jezebell26 · March 2012

One thing I have learned around here, among other things, is that you have to be your own advocate. I spent the first half of my treatment researching what I was supposed to be doing and what my dr was supposed to be doing. He did most of the things he was supposed to but there are a few things I let slide or compromised. Now that I am this far into the game I am very outspoken about my treatment and what I want and what WE as a couple want for ourselves. It is hard to find a dr that listens to YOU and hears what you are concerned about. The more research I did and the more stories I read helped give me the confidence I needed to ensure I speak up about what I want my treatment plan to be based on our live and history and all that. I never said it was easy though. I am also 29 but counting down the days until 30 and DH is 31. I started this process when I was 27 so we also thought we had time. We also thought it would be easier because "all i have is PCOS' too but it has proven to be more difficult then I ever imagined. Its a difficult situation to be in when you leave the dr more confused or upset then before you went in. Best of luck with whatever you decide!

yuengling58 · March 2012

My story - we finished the RPL panel with nothing "bad." She was ready to send us on our way to "keep trying" when I was like um.. yea, no. DH & I both asked for IF testing and she was ready to just give me clomid (bad insurance coverage, likely to save money). Again, I said no and that we wanted the full workup - SA, CD3, mid-cycle monitoring, etc. So that's what we are getting - I go in Friday for CD3, DH does his SA soon and then next month, pending the results (obviously) we start clomid.

Be your own advocate and tell them what you want. They're doctors with a specialty, but they're human too.

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