DH is freaking out about IUI

Neesey · March 2012

I had to go to my appointment alone this morning because he was called into work early. After all of our test results came back and because of my age, my RE recommended clomid and IUI. I told DH after I got home and he just stared at me frowning. He was really upset! I was so taken aback with his response. I was actually pretty pumped about the appointment since everything came back normal except my thyroid levels. He was really nervous about his SA numbers and was stressing that his results were going to be bad. They were great! He doesn't stress about much and his reaction really surprised me. He doesn't want anyone to know about IUI but he seems to have no problem talking about our other IF struggles with his blabber-mouth friends. Has anyone else's DH freaked out about IUI?

maggie2324 · March 2012

:-/ not really. MH saw IUI as muuuuuuch preferred to IVF and was hopeful that it would work. However, we are MFI. And DH would be mortified to talk to anyone outside the family about IF (even the family was a big struggle for him).

whoberry · March 2012

DH was not into the idea of IUI at all. He really doesn't like the idea of medical intervention, but for some reason was fine with me taking Clomid and Femara. He said the drugs didn't bother him because he thought I was taking them to fix a problem (we're unexplained but I have short LPs and I O pretty late with longish cycles, meds were supposed to help that). After 4 cycles of meds + TI he is now ready to move on to IUI. I think he just wants a baby and feels comfortable moving on now.

tombomb84 · March 2012

My DH didn't love the idea of IUI either. He wanted getting pregnant to consist of us having lots of sex and then BAM we are pregnant. Once he learned that we really had no shot without IUI he was on board, but he still says that he wishes we could do things more "naturally" (which I find very upsetting).

Blueyed228 · March 2012

H was anti most treatments. Over a year later he is all about IVF and cant wait for it. Sometimes it takes awhile for them to come around.

MrsT007 · March 2012

My DH was also anti most treatments at first. He felt they were "unnatural" and "weird". Then after actually meeting with the doctor and talking about it more he came around. Now he's ready to do anything! Hang in there!

phishgirl29 · March 2012

As sad as it may sound, DH's BF and his wife went through IF treatments which eventually led to adoption for them. That being said, DH kind of expected treatment after the first 6 months TTC for us. He heard so much about it, I've had to do little on educating him. We are in the middle of IUI#2 and DH is already planning what our next move would be if we need to make it!

Neesey · March 2012

We talked more about it at dinner tonight and he's better. He was thinking it was more invasive and that's where he said his concern came from. I think part of it is an insecurity that most guys have about being potent and virile. Every guy wants to be seen as manly and this touches a nerve. He's on board now and relieved that our sex life can go back to being more spontaneous and less scheduled.

jessi1988 · March 2012

Although we haven't done any treatments, my H is very positive about starting. We are MFI and haven't told really anyone (I've just shared it with a few friends who are familiar with treatments), before we do any treatments we will tell our families the whole story.

katib77 · March 2012

Before we met with our RE (back in June 2010) DH thought "He's going to push IVF because it give him more money" and so he immediately gained DH's respect when he suggested getting DH on vitamins and waiting three months before any treatment, and then IUIs...up to four of them before IVF.

But I had been on this board for three months by then so he knew from me talking about the board, what IUI was and was fine with it. And while he hardly ever talks about our IF, he seems to understand and except that I'm going to talk about it with anyone and every one when it comes up. Only family and close friends know about his MFI but also know my LPD. Others, I just tell that it's "minor issues with both of us" so as not to place "blame".

Some men just need time to except, and I know the several months we took to try the vitamins, see if natural would work after improvement, and saving to afford it made him much more ready (plus he got much more educated from me on why and what to expect).

Native+Girl · March 2012

Neesey:
We talked more about it at dinner tonight and he's better. He was thinking it was more invasive and that's where he said his concern came from. I think part of it is an insecurity that most guys have about being potent and virile. Every guy wants to be seen as manly and this touches a nerve. He's on board now and relieved that our sex life can go back to being more spontaneous and less scheduled.

My DH related IUI to IVF, thinking they were fairly similar. He's anti-IVF so I had to literally show him pictures and videos of the IUI process. Once he realized it was just an improved way of delivering sperm and didn't cause near as much physical or emotional burden as IVF, he was completely on board.

angel3082 · March 2012

My DH has had an issue with anything besides TI up til just the other night. I had to point out how much my body is being put through each cycle. I'm not into taking any medicine & I've done 3 cycles on meds, and have a Lap coming up in 2 weeks. Once he understood what the IUI entailed and I told him that we could still have our own fun the night of or morning after, he was on board.

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DH is freaking out about IUI

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IF, 5 losses, 1 son, 1 on the way.

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