When a friend/acquaintance's child passes? — The Bump
Special Needs

When a friend/acquaintance's child passes?

What have you sent a friend or acquaintance when their child passed away?

There's a little girl we met 2 years ago who shared a lot of similarities to DD2. She had the same name as DD1 so we'd talked about her with my girls several times after we met. She was precious beyond words and always stuck out in my mind. At the conference where we met this family, we met another family who we became much closer with and talk pretty often to. Our three families all have girls who were born within a few weeks of each other and share(d) some pretty rare characteristics so we all felt instantly bonded to each other. The other 2 families live somewhat in the same area and saw each other at more local functions, which we did not attend. I received a phone call recently from family #2 saying that the first family's daughter has passed.

I have their contact information and would like to send something, but I'm not sure what's appropriate in this situation. The other Mom said that the funeral was mostly done in a "celebratory" manner embracing that she was going to heaven. That there were lots of balloons a decorated cake and a tabled with her favorite stuffed animals. I was thinking of a hand-written card and some kind of bright flower or balloon arrangement along with a stuffed animal, but know that people don't always appreciate getting arrangements after a loved on has passed. We're too far away to do visit or bring something like bring a meal, though I have thought of a gift card to chain restaurant that would do take out near them. We'd also like to make some kind of donation. They hadn't decided where they wanted people to send donations to at the time of the funeral. But I was contemplating making a donation in their name to the organization that connected our three families or a much much more general organization like March of Dimes? Any ideas or insights based on experiences? Also, the little girl left behind an older brother (late teens) who was INCREDIBLY close to her. As a sister of someone with special needs I can't imagine losing my sibling and know how hard it would be on one of my girls to lose the other. I was trying to think of a kind gesture for him as well. Any ideas that would be tactful? I'm thinking a separately addressed card wouldn't be right and he's too old for toys.

Thanks in advance! 

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"In a wild sea of eyes I'd see one pair that I recognize and know that I am the luckiest"- Ben Folds

Re: When a friend/acquaintance's child passes?

  • I think remembering to contact them after some time could be helpful. I like the note idea. I would also think about maybe trying to remember them on next year's anniversary or, wait to do your sympathy gift for her birthday instead.
    WAY 2 Cool 4 School


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