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Anyone else just not feel like talking?

Actingdiva09Actingdiva09 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I find myself screening my calls and dreading talking to people... I just want to stay in my bubble right now and deal with my own emotions... Is that normal?

MIL just called and I let it go to vmail b/c I know she's gonna say the stuff everyone says that is mostly true, but don't need to hear right now like "It's God's plan" and "Well there was something wrong with the baby so it was better this way" and "At least it was early instead of later"....

"For I know the plans I have for you,
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Re: Anyone else just not feel like talking?

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    MWoodsideMWoodside member

    Initially I didn't want to talk to anyone but DH.  It was just too much.  And you are absolutely right, most people say the wrong damn things.  I didn't want to hear any of it.

    I just had DH spread the word that I didn't want to talk & I'd reach out when I felt ready.  Do what you need to do to take care of yourself right now.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
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    janastep73janastep73

    I didn't even really talk to my husband until yesterday (our procedure was friday). I told him that I didn't want to talk about it.  Then, yesterday, I told him that I was ready to talk.  I just knew that once I opened up, I'd start crying and wouldn't be able to stop.  While we were talking, he said the cliche about better that it happened sooner than later and while I agree, I just think for the most part I want him to hold me and hug me while I cry.:(  He was kind of upset that I was "talking" to people on here but not opening up to him.  My mother-in-law called me an hour or so after I had found out (my husband wasn't with me when I went to that appointment), and as soon as I picked up the phone, she started bawling.  She apologized and told me that she had tried to get it all out before she called me, but evidently she didn't.  I understand that it's a loss for grandparents too.  But her calling and crying made me even worse.  And my dad gave me the speech of "it's just nature's way of taking care of a problem."

    I know everyone's just trying to help, but I don't think my DH knows how to deal with it either. 

    I'm a pretty stoic person--generally "calm as a cucumber", so this new introduction of exploding emotions is pretty new to me.  And I think it's freaking my DH out a bit. 

    DS born 7/4/2007 TTC#2: 01/2012 | BFP: 02/07/2012 | EDD: 10/18/2012 | MMC: 03/22/2012 (10w0d) D & C: 03/23/2012 Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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    heather4hawksheather4hawks member
    I didn't talk to anyone for a few days, except when absolutely necessary. DH told everyone the news and that I didn't feel up to talking. I think it is normal. I had to deal with my emotions before I could even think about resuming normal life. The last thing I wanted to do was end up sobbing on the phone.
    BFP #1 2/20/12 - ectopic methotrexate @6w2d on 3/6/12 BFP#2 7/27/12 EDD 4/10/13- It's a boy! imageimagePhotobucketBabyName Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
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    bumpuser2669861bumpuser2669861 member

    Yes - definitely normal!  The first mc for me in Dec happened right before our family christmas party - which in hindsight I just should have skipped.  It is exhausting to have the same painful and awkward conversation over and over.  And while everyone does say the same cliche things, just try to remember that they just don't know what to say and its their way of trying to be supportive.  This time around we hardly told anyone so it was easier in that respect - fewer people to untell.

     Hang in there! 

    BFP#1 10/30/2011,MC 12/4/2011 9w2d,BFP#2 3/6/2012,m/c 4/18/2012 9w1d D&E 4/18/2012 BFP#3 8/12/2012 EDD 4/25/2013 Stick baby!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker
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    SweetPea1002SweetPea1002
    I was the same way last week...I did not want to talk to anyone. As I started to open up to more people at work, I was finding out that many of them went through the same thing and that they went on to have healthy kids. I starting to realize that this is common and that when the time is right we will get pregnant. Even through it's taken my DH and I 4 years and IVF to get pregnant doesn't mean it won't happen again.
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    CCline09CCline09

    Yes, off and on since I m/c two weeks ago I'll either really want to talk about it or not at all. Its completely normal to go one way or the other.

     

    Ohhh and the stupidest things people say. That was the worse. Sad, but before my miscarriage I probably said some of the same stupid things. Now I know better.

     

    All that said, I am so sorry for your loss and hope you find comfort and healing soon. 

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    erynashleyerynashley member

    I haven't been able to talk to anyone either. I'm completely avoiding all my friends, my family. I just don't want to say the word out loud. It makes me break down.

     

    This is my first time through this (and first time pregnant), so I don't know what's normal, but I do know it's nice to know that someone out there feels the same way.

     

    I'm so sorry for your loss! 

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