Frustrated with Daycare — The Bump
Pre-School

Frustrated with Daycare

My DD turned 4 on March 13th and will be moving up to the 4 year old room next Monday.  She is more than ready as am I for her to move - she is now the oldest in her room.  We are both very sad to be leaving the main teacher in her current room (she has been in the room for about a year and was also the teacher to my older DD).  She will only be at the center until mid August as she is starting the PreK program at the elementary school in Sept and we are pulling her out when older DD's summer program ends and will have 2 weeks with both girls in between summer programs ending and school starting.  Anyway - the main teacher in the 4 year old room left the center a few weeks ago due to her DH's new job out of state.  I have never liked the other teacher in the room (and a lot of parents feel this way).  SHe has zero patience for the kids and is not nice to the parents when having to tell them things - for example, DD has been visiting the room a lot to get ready for the move.  Teacher tells me at pick-up that she was not listening so well during group time.  I told her I would talk to DD but that I am sure she is testing since its a new place, new routine.  She responded that she knows her and knows her rules.  Sorry but she has visited in the past for an hour here and there never for a whole day or even for a half a day.  This teacher has very high expectations for the kids and I'm sorry but as a young 4, they are not correct.  My DD is bright and can do a lot by herself but she is 4 and needs some help and reminders etc.  Anyway, new teacher started last week (so the two teachers are this new one and the one I dislike) and DD seems to love her.  DD is pretty shy and had no issue staying with new teacher at drop off today so I take that as  great start.  I am just trying to figure out how I deal with the other teacher until mid August.  I know that as long as DD is happy and well cared for, I am just going to suck it up and deal with her but if DD is unhappy and complains - I don't know what to do.  I don't feel like its worth talking to the director unless it is really bad - we will be gone for a week in late June and then are done in Mid August so not worth making a stink over.  I just hope that DD is happy and I don't have to deal with that one teacher very often.  I know DD is safe and loved and cared for well by the directors and the other teachers so its really just the attitude of this one teacher that bothers me.

No real point to this - just frustrated with this one teacher and need to make it through the next 4 1/2 months!!!

Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 

Re: Frustrated with Daycare

  • Don't wait to talk to the director until you're at your reading point. You are the customer and this is your child. If you feel the teacher is being mean to your child the director needs to know. The other parents need to communicate it too. I just foud out that 3 families have requested a different teacher next year from DD's class including us. If it were just me they might blow it off as a crazy mom. 3 that we know of should be giving them a big heads up that the teacher is the problem. Also remember that however bad you think it is it is probably worse. Teachers put on the smiley face for parents.  She is probably doing that and could be really monstrous when there are no parents around. 
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  • I'd probably say something to the director.

    It does seem like an unusual attitude for a 4 yo teacher to have.

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  • I have mentioned my dissatisfaction on this one teacher to the director in the past - she was new when my older DD was in this room, she was only in the room for the summer as she is a later b-day and was only 4 at the center for the summer.  It has been 2 years and she is still there!  I love the center and I trust that nothing is happening to my DD - this teacher would do way better in the school age room.  My DD is never alone with this teacher by the way.  I was feeling fine with the move until the other teacher left (I loved the other teacher) adn this new teacher seems great - my DD is very picky about who she warms up to and I use that as a great way to pin point the good ones - she went to her this morning with no issue and that screams positive things to me.  I need to see how my DD reacts to the other teacher before I say anything more.  I doubt the other parents have said anything, the one parent that made the comment to me is in the same boat as me, leaving at the end of the summer and she is the type that doesn't want to rock the boat so to speak.  I have no issue speaking my mind to the director when I have good reason.  If she makes additional comments to me or my DD seems really unhappy or tells me things, I will be saying something right away.  I know the 3 year old teacher will be checking on my DD a ton (we have become friends in the many years that she has been at the center) and she will fill me in on anything that I need to know.  Its just frustrating since I have a great relationship with the lead teacher in the 3 year old room and I had one with the lead from the 4 year old room who left.  I just don't like this teacher. 
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • imagefredalina:
    I'd have a problem with it, too. IMO there are better ways to communicate issues that really need communication other than during the hectic time when you're picking up your kid after a long day at work. Especially day after day after day. Minor issues should be dealt with in the classroom. Ongoing issues should be communicated in some kind of conference where you can determine a plan of action for both home and school. Only critical issues like someone getting hurt ot hurting someone else should be handled at pick up IMO. Frankly I think circle time is a classroom management issue and should only be communicated to you in the context of kindergarten readiness. What the heck are you supposed to do about it at home? If you don't speak to the director, maybe speak to the teaccher and ask if there's a conference type setup you can speak at because it's too hectic at pick up.

    Thanks for your feedback - my thoughts exactly.  This is a brand new room for my DD and she doesn't, on a regular, basis have these issues with the other teacher.  I mean, she is 4, she has her days but she is smart and well behaved.  I do talk to her about how to behave and using her listening ears and all that stuff all the time.  Conferences for the spring will be coming soon but when I have them, she will only have been in the classroom a short time so depending on when they get scheduled, I am not sure how much input her current teachers will have in them vs the teachers she has been with the whole past year.  I guess either way, the new teacher will be present (or I will make sure she is) and I will bring this stuff up if it continues.  Granted, if the teacher keeps this up, I will talk to the director about it before conferences - I am one to speak my mind especially when it comes to my kids.  I just can't wait until August when I am done with daycare.  I love the teachers for her PreK program for the fall and I know I won't have these issues.

    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • imagejlw2505:

    - for example, DD has been visiting the room a lot to get ready for the move.  Teacher tells me at pick-up that she was not listening so well during group time. 

    I would have said something like, "I'm sure you'll manage the group better next time."

    This is a classroom management issue. I would make it clear that managing these behaviors falls on the adults in the room. A child 'not listening' is one that needs better interventions.

    And no, this is not a parent issue, at all.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
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