What is Labor like???
Jazibel
member
So this past weekend EV and I attended a Childbirth class geared to LGBTQ families of the SF Bay area (there were 4 couples in our class), so very open, informative, relaxed and comfortable.
We watched a ton of videos, learned about labor, post-partum, breastfeeding, etc. And held pieces of ice in our hands and practiced breathing, meditation, movement exercises to learn coping techniques. Then right before we left we did a "fear releasing ritual" where the birthing women put their hands in a bowl of ice and ice water (to symbolize a contraction), while our partners sat behind us to lend support, etc. Well during the holding ice exercises I was fine, some techniques worked better than others, but I felt good about what I was learning. With both hands submerged in ice for 60-90 secs I was almost beside myself. Ready to curse, yell, flee... I just didn't want to ruin the "ritual" for the other couples.
So here's my question, I know ice is not like labor... But what is labor like? What does it feel like? How did you or or partner survive??
We're planning a natural home birth and up until I placed my hands in the ice water I was looking forward to it, realizing with trepidation that it'd be hard, painful, but that I could do it. Now I'm starting to doubt my resolve...
Re: What is Labor like???
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
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I like that description - that labor is purposeful (pain with a purpose). I will have to hold that idea in my mind. I think if I can forget this ice experiment I'll be okay ;-)
It is hard to describe labor, but I think it is fair to call it all consuming. It's not like a localized, ouch my abdomen/vagina/whatever hurts - it's a very visceral, whole body experience.
I think the ice activity is helpful for one thing - to show your initial, natural reaction to pain. It is not (or should not) be meant to really show you how you will handle labor, because labor is an altogether different experience.
So it sounds like maybe you learned that your first reaction is panic (that you wanted to yell and leave) - if that's the case, you'll want your partner's main focus (and yours of course) to be keeping yourself calm. Fear makes you tense, and being tense makes you feel more pain.
You know labor is going to hurt, but that, like Meegs said, it's pain with a purpose. This is the pain that is going to bring your baby to you. And you can and will live through it!
I had a drug-free birth. Pushed out my nearly 9 pounder (from my rather petite body, I might add! lol) and lived to tell the tale. What got me through was knowledge (learning about labor in detail helped me to fear it less - of course, some moments were still scary), and relaxation. Deep breathing, closing my eyes and picturing the beach were helpful. I tried to surrender to the pain and remember that it would end. (Those are just personal examples to give you some idea of how I dealt with it.)
I had moments where I worried I couldn't do it. But with the support of my wife and midwife, I dug deep and got through it.
And if we are fortunate enough to have a second child, I will 100% do it again (barring any unforseen medical emergencies of course).
I hope of some of this is helpful. I think it's great for all of to go into birth with an open mind. You may surprise yourself with what you are capable of! (I know I did!)
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer