Community› The Bump Message Boards› 3rd Trimester
3rd Trimester
New Discussion

Anyone else's DH seem not that interested in baby?

cs1007cs1007 member
in 3rd Trimester
This is our second time around, and I can't really remember if he was the same way last time...but DH just does not seem to be too interested in the fact that we are going to have another baby in 8 weeks. He never asks about how/what I am feeling or talks about anything baby or pregnancy related unless I bring it up. I mentioned this to him and he mentioned that he is more nervous/worried than anything. Ummm...I am the one who will be EBF, waking in the middle of the night, and SAH with two children (DH works A LOT)!!!!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Anyone else's DH seem not that interested in baby?

  • HeyJuneHeyJune member

     I think men tend to focus more on the financial changes and added responsibilities (and how that might affect your relationship) than anything else. I think it is rare for a male to just bring up pregnancy related/baby related things unless they somehow are related to money, insurance, etc.

    We have the constant physical and emotional reminders that a baby is coming, and we feel the need to talk about those things. I sometimes feel the same as you (we have our 2nd on the way too), but I think they will be completely supportive and excited once the new baby is here.

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • tiffany0486tiffany0486

    I think its just men being men...I am constanly saying to my husband that he never seems to care...which just tends to make him mad...I think men just have a totally different way of dealing with things.. plus he is not the one that feels connected to the baby like we do. (Its not growing inside of them, and they dont get to feel all of the movemements....and all the other joys of being pregnant) I do not think its real for them until the baby is actually here :)

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • cmurphy09cmurphy09 member

    I feel ya girl, same here - attitude, work & all. Occasionally he's into picking up things for her but not really into it, it seems.

    Our hospital offer classes, I'm taking CPR as well as prep childbirth which he's suppose to join but already saying he's going to miss a class. 

    There is a FTF class that I suggested he take but already said he's not into it because of work...

    Honestly I just feel withdrawn from him myself as a result. 

    image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
    Report Reply
  • BethPSUBethPSU member
    My DH hates when I am pg.  It makes him extremely nervous.  There are a lot of unknowns and he is a worrier by nature.  I think his nervousness manifests itself as not caring or being aloof (sp?).  
    Report Reply
  • mcdmawmcdmaw

    My DH isn't quite in the same spot however he is in HARD CORE denial.  The other day I asked him what he wants for his snacks in the hospital bag and he practically turned white.

    He cannot seem to comprehend that we will have 2 babies.  He loves his little girl like crazy  and they are peas in a pod.  I think he cannot grasp the idea of having another child that he can/will love as much as DD.  

    I am hoping it hits him in the operating room...lol 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • jessandandy09jessandandy09 member

    This is my DH's first baby and I felt that way until one night when he said, "I dont know where I will take her to the bathroom at?!"  and I said "what?"  and he said "when she and I are out alone, I won't want to take our daughter into men's bathrooms and I cant go into womens bathrooms..."  I realized then that he is super worried and caring and maybe stressed but has been internalizing it.  Men just express themselves differently than women (I know that is a broad generalization) but just remember that because it isn't said doesnt mean it isn't felt.

    Aug 15 April Siggy challenge: Baby Shower fails:


    image

    BabyFetus Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Report Reply
  • RnMom2BeRnMom2Be
    This is our second baby, and I know that DH is worried about being a daddy to 2 kids.  He does not talk a lot about the baby....BUT my pregnancy has been such a PIA that we just spend lots of days getting to the next day.  I think men tend to focus on the here and now more than we do.  He touches my belly all of the time and stuff like that.  Your DH will be fine once the baby gets here....remember, they are not carrying a baby around for nine months like we do.....
    Report Reply
  • tuki06tuki06 member
    My DH is similar in a way. He loves to touch the belly and ask how "his" baby is doing lol but other than that he doesn't talk about what is going to happen after she comes. I know it's a mix of him being worried about what kind of dad he's gonna be and money and all that stuff men think about. Plus I think he is genuinely scared, he likes to act like it's all gonna be ok but he hasn't spent much time around new babies (neither have I considering my only neices and nephews are actually his since i'm an only child) and I think the fact that he's gonna be responsible for one kinda freaks him out but he doesn't say so cus he doesn't wanna worry me. I wouldn't worry about it too much men just deal with things diff than we do.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"