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Unable to sleep and missing my baby.

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in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Ughhh...I usually am a routine sleeper and now I am up until 2 or 3 most nights and my schedule is all out of whack.

 

DH went to bed hours ago. I'm up missing my baby. My SIL and BIL are pregnant and they found out a few weeks ago that they are having a baby boy and that he has a syndrome where he has no arms--just hands growing directly from his shoulder sockets. Luckily, it's just structural and no MR was detected. I saw some post on their facebook about it tonight and as much of a struggle it will be for them to have a child like that- they love their baby boy.

 I hear alot reasons why women miscarry is because of deformities such as these and I can't help but think that I would much rather have baby with no arms or with down syndrome then to not have my baby at all. I can't imagine how difficult it would be, but at least it would be my baby and he/she would be in my belly growing away.

 And another embarrassing confession--I looked up the birth months Hump Day Bump Day pics tonight. How I wanted that baby and baby bump so bad and how they back looking pregnant so fun and so darn easy.

Sorry for all my depressing posts as of late. I just don't know who else to share them with. 

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Re: Unable to sleep and missing my baby.

  • kpowers982kpowers982 member
    Don't apologize for how you feel! You are completely justified to feel the way you do. This is so incredibly hard. I wish I could just turn my brain off and not think about everything for a while! Hoping you find some peace and get some rest soon.
    Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
    Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • DenaRenee78DenaRenee78 member

    So sorry for your loss. I suffered two second trimester losses one at 20 weeks and one at 24 weeks where my water broke too soon and I went into labor and had to deliver baby. My one son passed before birth and the other after. I would have given anything to still have my babies! So I can relate to what your saying. 

    I lost another daughter at 3 mo'd old of SIDS. She would have been 17 now and I still miss her to this day.   =(

    Never be sorry for saying your feelings .. its good to get them out instead of holding them all in. I am so sorry for your loss .. and hope someday you will be able to have your take home baby.

     

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  • CCline09CCline09
    imageDenaRenee78:

    So sorry for your loss. I suffered two second trimester losses one at 20 weeks and one at 24 weeks where my water broke too soon and I went into labor and had to deliver baby. My one son passed before birth and the other after. I would have given anything to still have my babies! So I can relate to what your saying. 

    I lost another daughter at 3 mo'd old of SIDS. She would have been 17 now and I still miss her to this day.   =(

    Never be sorry for saying your feelings .. its good to get them out instead of holding them all in. I am so sorry for your loss .. and hope someday you will be able to have your take home baby.

     

     

    Ohh wow--you have been through so much--I am just so sorry for your losses. I see your ticker and I really hope and pray it is your take home, lifelong child.

     

    And thank you for your kind words. I feel trivial being so sad compared to your losses but I guess in our hearts they are all our babies.  

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