A little hurt by family

MoFree · March 2012

First, I do not expect to be given anything for my baby and do not feel entitled to a shower. That being said, I am a little hurt that my family said nothing about a shower for me. I live in the SW and family is in Chicago, so anything would have to be planned in advance. When I was there over the weekend, no one said anything to me. My SMIL's closest friend is hosting a shower for me in late June and I can say with almowt 100% certainty that no one from Chicago will make the trip.

I think one of the issues is that my DH's family is much, much wealthier than my family and I think my mother, sister and cousins feel that I do not "need" anything because my FIL and SMIL or MIL will provide us with all the necessities on a much higher level than they can afford. I don't feel this way and it's not the gifts, but the celebration of a a new baby that is important to me.

Am I being "too sensitive" by feeling that my family is practically ignoring my pregnancy and baby?

missjul61 · March 2012

I'm sorry you're feeling ignored. I'd feel hurt too. Any chance they'd surprise you and are planning to attend the one in June?

vanessagorc · March 2012

I'd prob feel hurt too. It's not about money, and sad they would feel insecure about that. Their daughter is having a baby!

amberleeb · March 2012

We were living away from family when our first DD was born and DH family never mentioned a shower at all I was so hurt. When we went back to visit when I was PG they had thrown a huge surprise shower with over 50 people. I hope this is the case for you. I am sorry that it has you down.

lovebug33 · March 2012

I think it's sad when people think a baby shower is just so the pg. lady can get presents. What I hear you saying you want (correct me if I'm wrong) is somebody to celebrate your baby. To me, the baby showers we are having really have everything to do with celebrating the fact that, after all of this time, we are finally having a baby. I'm sorry you are going through this!

DeputiesWife · March 2012

I personally dont feel you are being too sensitive. I would feel the same way.

I know all about being far away, even though we are only 8 hours, but you still have to play to go on the trip and all.

My mom isnt wealthy by any means but she has a job and all and was able to help me with our wedding and help throw a shower for DD and I know my MIL felt bad because she wasnt able to do anything but show up -- she had a talk with my mom about it and she also mentioned to us that she felt bad and I said it isnt about the money or anything, we were glad (as much as my MIL drives me BSC) that she was there to celebrate this occasion.

psychmusetls · March 2012

i'm sorry your family seems to be ignoring you. I don't think you're being too sensitive at all. i hope they are secretly planing something for you!

ccam · March 2012

I don't think you're being too sensitive. I'd feel hurt that my family didn't want to celebrate my pregnancy either - it's not all about the gifts or money. I'm sorry!

theworms · March 2012

vanessagorc:
I'd prob feel hurt too. It's not about money, and sad they would feel insecure about that. Their daughter is having a baby!

ditto

i hope they get their act together and do something to celebrate your little one.

((HUGS))

labbylover03 · March 2012

I'd be hurt too. I really hope they surprise you. ((hugs))

MrsNap_515 · March 2012

i hope they have something planned as a surprise, i know i'd definitely be hurt too, it hurts when we've worked so hard and want to celebrate this feeling, i wish you the best!!

jamielynnohio · March 2012

lovebug33:
I think it's sad when people think a baby shower is just so the pg. lady can get presents. What I hear you saying you want (correct me if I'm wrong) is somebody to celebrate your baby. To me, the baby showers we are having really have everything to do with celebrating the fact that, after all of this time, we are finally having a baby. I'm sorry you are going through this!

ditto this. huge hugs!

Rachael07.07.07 · March 2012

I'm sorry hun. (((hugs))) I would be hurt by that as well. It's an exciting time in your life and you just want to celebrate it with those you love. I hope that they have something planned as a surprise for you. I think I will have to come to terms with the same thing but from my dad/stepfamily if I ever get to the baby shower part of this journey. I'm always around for you to talk to. (((hugs)))

Imanurse03 · March 2012

I completely understand your feelings. My family did the same thing. My family and ILs live an hour/hour and a half away from us. We see them all the time. We are in PA and my sister lives in FL and BILs/SILs live in SC and IL. Our families didn't mention a shower. I don't know if ppl were afraid to plan one since I was put on home bedrest at 21 weeks and the docs thought I may deliver early. It wasn't until a friend who I met locally through IF asked if my family or friends were planning a shower and I told her I didn't think so. Thus was when I was about 27 weeks. My friend planned my shower from out of state while she was in bedrest for pg and had 2 year old twins. It was amazing! We did get my MIL to help my friend and we had my shower at our house since I was on bedrest. I didn't need or want gifts but I was just sad that it seemed like no one in our family or any close friends wanted to celebrate our baby after all we went through to get and stay pg. My mom was a b*Tchaikovsky about it and complained about the timing of my shower since it wasn't convenient for her. She couldn't and wouldn't help plan my shower. Still sad about that but I am grateful for my IF friend. I hope that someone in your family is secretly planning a shower for you. Hugs.

Imanurse03 · March 2012

"b*Tchaikovsky" Lol! Dumb autocorrect on my phone! I meant b*tch!!! Stick out tongue

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