Do Your Inlaws Like You?

clineak · March 2012

I know we've chatted before about whether or not we like our inlaws, but...do your inlaws like you?

clineak · March 2012

My inlaws liked me until we got engaged. Like, they were begging DH to propose. As soon as he did, MIL, especially, did a 180, and no one is sure why. Believe me, I've asked. Now she hates me, or at least that's what she told DH, and my FIL is indifferent, I think.

Saltina11 · March 2012

While we were dating, MIL told MH that I am "too ambitious" for him. She meant it as an insult, but I was flattered.

clineak · March 2012

Saltina11:
While we were dating, MIL told MH that I am "too ambitious" for him. She meant it as an insult, but I was flattered.

I would've, too. Pretty much every negative my MIL says about me can be turned around on her. Example: I have an eating disorder. Um...nope, I'm just skinnier than you'll ever be (and that's not saying much!).

Saltina11 · March 2012

clineak:
Saltina11:

While we were dating, MIL told MH that I am "too ambitious" for him. She meant it as an insult, but I was flattered.

I would've, too. Pretty much every negative my MIL says about me can be turned around on her. Example: I have an eating disorder. Um...nope, I'm just skinnier than you'll ever be (and that's not saying much!).

I can't believe she told YH she hates you. That is messed up. You're her grandchild's MOTHER.

clineak · March 2012

Saltina11:
clineak:
Saltina11:

While we were dating, MIL told MH that I am "too ambitious" for him. She meant it as an insult, but I was flattered.

I would've, too. Pretty much every negative my MIL says about me can be turned around on her. Example: I have an eating disorder. Um...nope, I'm just skinnier than you'll ever be (and that's not saying much!).

I can't believe she told YH she hates you. That is messed up. You're her grandchild's MOTHER.

Yeah, she said that when I was pregnant. It's a double edged sword...it's bothersome, but then I think, "oh well!" When DD was born, the only thing she said to me was, "Thank you for my baby." What?!? And then, I heard her say to DD, "Your mommy's a mean mean lady." Wow.

swimiz500 · March 2012

No. They tolerate me because they don't have much of a choice. They think I am not "high class" enough or something. They make fun of my mom (to her face, no lie) because she didn't go to college. They don't like Americans (they are British and live in Canada). But I am nice to them, far nicer than DH is to them, so they live with it.

shellzano · March 2012

They better sh!t I gave them a grandchild, lol. Yes they liked me before I married my DH and before I gave them a granddaughter.

Nutrguru · March 2012

They would have preferred if I became a dr or work in hospital. But that kind of career/hours would not be something I would like so they tolerate me. They are also horrified I need to take loans out for school. They were then furious that Dh is the cosigner on my car loan. But other than that they live with me. DH is his moms favorite and therefore it would hard to ever be "good enough". Her face though as I was walking down the aisle was PRICELESS tears were streaming (and not good kind--the OMG he's going through with this kind) and we have it on camera...it makes me laugh.

scuba2011 · March 2012

Yes, for the most part they do. I am more outspoken and opinionated than their other daughter-in-law so sometimes I think that catches them off guard but it normally leads to good conversation and has only resulted in one real argument that ended with DH & I threatening not to come to Christmas. FIL realized he was the one out of place and apologized and we were back to being a happy extended family.

jlsimon56 · March 2012

My ILs LOVE me. My MIL often ranks her favorite people and I am #2, ahead of her own children (why she is ranking people is beyond me). They really are wonderful people and I feel bad when I think bad thoughts about them. They've pulled DH out of many a jam. As grandparents....they aren't the best. They override whatever my SIL says, justification being that they're the grandparents and that's what grandparents do. I pick and choose my battles with LO. I got very angry when my MIL fed LO diet soda from her own glass.

jetskreemr · March 2012

When my DH and I first started dating they didn't. I was his first serious girlfriend and they were a strict super religious family and they just didn't trust me all around. They slowly realized that I was a good person and they even apologized for how cold they were in the beginning. Now they love me, and they are way better parents to me than my own, so I love them and it's awesome!

RubySB3 · March 2012

Yeah, I'd say they like me- or at least they have always treated me with respect and like a family member. I was their first daughter in law, I'm much easier going than the other DIL. I gave them their first grand child. But When their daughter is around its a different story, she doesn't like me - so then they will exclude me. This has caused problems.

starz57182 · March 2012

Yep, they love the heck out of me. Mostly his mom, I don't think his dad cares either way, but he doesn't hate me by any means. I think she especially likes me because I got my husband to visit and contact them more when we started dating. Before me, they didn't hear from him often.

I feel bad since we moved so far away, I wish we could see them more.

ksulli · March 2012

I'm convinced that if DH hadn't proposed his father would have done it on his behalf. And I think the only day in MIL's life that compares to her grandaughter being born is the day she got me for a DIL. I don't think I like them as much as they like me, but the feeling is pretty close to mutual. I won the in-law jack-pot.

LyndseyLC · March 2012

DH's mom likes me. I dont think DH's step mom likes me, while we were planning our wedding she called my mom crying saying that I was greedy, ungrateful, unappreciative and she didnt think DH and I were right for eachother I think DH's dad likes me although its tough for me to understand his sarcasm and jokes. He has a bit of a dry sense of humor.

jesstellina · March 2012

Yes, my ILs like me. In the past I worried that I didn't/wouldn't fit in with their family or that they would think I thought I was better than them since I'll be a doctor. But a couple years ago we showed up at a family event where there were a lot of ppl we hadn't seen in a long time, and everyone there was asking me about the big board exam I had just taken. Turns out my MIL had been talking about me to everyone. I realized then how proud she is of me. Smile

dairygirl19 · March 2012

ksulli:
I'm convinced that if DH hadn't proposed his father would have done it on his behalf. And I think the only day in MIL's life that compares to her grandaughter being born is the day she got me for a DIL. I don't think I like them as much as they like me, but the feeling is pretty close to mutual. I won the in-law jack-pot.

This.

I'm lucky too.

My inlaws function on a different personality spectrum than I do and I'm not religious enough for them, but they all around love me and the feeling is mutually.

We agree to disagree respectfully and we're both okay with that.

isacdimi10 · March 2012

When we first started dating (I was 16 DH was 17) they liked me because I proved DH wasn't gay (huge homophobes)

Then when DH fell in love with me he was less into their cult like lifestyle (no seriously they're creepy). MIL began to spit poison about how I was a shedevil and I was turning him into a horrible person.

She's tried to kill me. I'm allergic to cashew nuts, like swell up and die allergic. They were informed of this because MIL always had cookies with nuts in them and I always declined because they contained cashews. One night she served a meal and DH was apparently familiar with it and asked "Mom are there cashews in here? You know she's allergic" and his mother smiled and said "Nope" I ended up stabbing myself with an epi pen and getting a fun trip to the ER.

Timshel17 · March 2012

ksulli:
I'm convinced that if DH hadn't proposed his father would have done it on his behalf. And I think the only day in MIL's life that compares to her grandaughter being born is the day she got me for a DIL. I don't think I like them as much as they like me, but the feeling is pretty close to mutual. I won the in-law jack-pot.

This for me too. When I first met them, and we went to dinner, FIL made a comment about us getting married and MIL had to shush him. I am so thankful for them and I would be more than thrilled to be half the woman my MIL is!

swimiz500 · March 2012

isacdimi10:
When we first started dating (I was 16 DH was 17) they liked me because I proved DH wasn't gay (huge homophobes)
Then when DH fell in love with me he was less into their cult like lifestyle (no seriously they're creepy). MIL began to spit poison about how I was a shedevil and I was turning him into a horrible person.
She's tried to kill me. I'm allergic to cashew nuts, like swell up and die allergic. They were informed of this because MIL always had cookies with nuts in them and I always declined because they contained cashews. One night she served a meal and DH was apparently familiar with it and asked "Mom are there cashews in here? You know she's allergic" and his mother smiled and said "Nope" I ended up stabbing myself with an epi pen and getting a fun trip to the ER.

Yikes. Your MIL makes mine look like Mother Theresa! I am sorry you deal with that.

Timshel17 · March 2012

swimiz500:
isacdimi10:
When we first started dating (I was 16 DH was 17) they liked me because I proved DH wasn't gay (huge homophobes)
Then when DH fell in love with me he was less into their cult like lifestyle (no seriously they're creepy). MIL began to spit poison about how I was a shedevil and I was turning him into a horrible person.
She's tried to kill me. I'm allergic to cashew nuts, like swell up and die allergic. They were informed of this because MIL always had cookies with nuts in them and I always declined because they contained cashews. One night she served a meal and DH was apparently familiar with it and asked "Mom are there cashews in here? You know she's allergic" and his mother smiled and said "Nope" I ended up stabbing myself with an epi pen and getting a fun trip to the ER.
Yikes. Your MIL makes mine look like Mother Theresa! I am sorry you deal with that.

Indifferent Oh my goodness! I am sorry too!

MOONGIRL2467 · March 2012

I hope they do. I often feel like they dont...well mother in law. Fil is always nice & friendly. When DH & I started dating she seemed, mean. He is the only son so I figured it was natural. Now that we are married she is still controlling.

FunNSunAZ · March 2012

Thankfully, yes they do. FIL has told DH on more than one occasion that he better not mess things up with me. My MIL is great, and while my SIL requires a bit of patience, she lives OOT so I don't have to exercise that patience often.

hecallsmecat · March 2012

The short answer - no.

FIL likes me fine, but MIL will never forgive me for stealing her son. Seriously, she calls him "my son, my son." It even annoys his sisters. He has 4 sisters and a brother but he is the oldest boy in an Irish farming family, so he is the most important. He is the one to inherit the farm and the only one to produce children to carry on the family name. If my new baby is a boy it will be like the coming of the messiah.

She hates me because I am American. Even though all of her daughters married Americans, she wanted DH to marry an Irish girl (I am of Irish ancestry, but that's not good enough for her). Even when we moved to London to be closer to them and I have sworn I would move to Ireland when the economy turns around and we can get jobs there, still not good enough.

I don't care anymore because she is the devil and I don't need her to like me.

CABeachMom11 · March 2012

Im really close with my in laws... they are great. FIL and I get in arguments over politics but we have agreed to avoid those conversations completely now- LOL! Id say its my mom that doesnt LOVE DH and visa versa. But they are nice to eachother...

Five_letter · March 2012

My father in law and I can butt heads when we disagree, however we all really like each other a lot. My MIL is a saint.

katie4253 · March 2012

No. Not at all. I'm okay with it. I don't care for them either.

CocoBrynne · March 2012

Nope and the feeling is definitely mutual. They are the polar opposite from everything my parents taught me. They're irresponsible, they don't pay any of their bills, but blow money left and right on junk and then whine how broke they are. They also treat my DH like dirt, and now are all surprised he barely speaks to them.

MarshaBrady · March 2012

They don't really care for me or DH. DH's younger brother is their golden child and they also really love his wife.

FutureMrsWittig · March 2012

they say they like me.

however, they do not respect me, they talk badly about me to my step-daughter, and if they weren't afraid my H would take my side and they'd never see any of us again I'm pretty sure they just wouldn't tolerate me.

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