If you've already had a natural birth

kristin7701 · March 2012

How did your husband/partner handle it?

I am curious because I'd think it would be scary for your partner. For me, I felt like I was so out of control. I kept saying "I don't think I can do this." But my husband is a family medicine doc and has delivered many babies and said my med-free birth was pretty standard.

RockyMtnMama · March 2012

Wasn't scary for him at all...he knew what to expect from our prep and was really involved and excited. He did say, that he was glad we had other girlfriends/family there b/c it takes a lot of work to support a NB labor/delivery.

kaeti_su · March 2012

I'd have to ask him, but I don't think he was scared at all. He took a shower while I called my MW, and he ran down to the car to get our bags while I was being admitted to the hospital, so he wasn't freaked out enough to not do either of those things. I didn't scream or tell him I couldn't do it or ask for drugs or anything, though, so that probably helped.

NewzieMom · March 2012

He handled it just fine. It wasn't scary, emotional yes, but not scary. I also was not the type to say, I can't do this.. or get his baby out... or any of those types of things. I am fairly quite during labor and DH has always been 100% supportive a med free birth.

Sawyerplus1 · March 2012

My DH handled it like a champ. He was well-educated about it, knew what I wanted, and listened carefully to my needs. With #1 I was in labor for 30 hours, 15 of which were at home. I think that was good because it was sort of slow and steady; we could relax a bit, go for walks, eat some food, etc. Even though it was labor there was no real sense of urgency or panic (not until much later).

StefandTodd · March 2012

He was fine. We took Bradley classes so he knew what to expect for the most part. He was encouraging and helpful and definitely not scared.

LaurelBee · March 2012

Dh was pretty calm and collected the whole time. The only part I think where he lost his cool was during pushing. I pushed for 20 mins, then my OB got called away for an emergency CS, so they had to call the on call OB. It took her 15 mins before she got there, so they had me stop pushing until she showed up. Well, my nurse kept pacing the room and called my OB 3 times while we were waiting, so she was visibly nervous. I told her I couldn't help it, that my body was pushing and she said "I may deliver this baby myself!" Dh got really worried and said "Stop pushing! Stop pushing!" I told him to calm down or leave the room

He snapped back and helped me breath after that. He swears it didn't happen like that, but that's one memory that stands out in my mind bc I was perfectly happy with my nurse delivering Ds! I was just ready to meet my lil guy and be done.

nosoup4u · March 2012

That was one of the reasons we got a doula, especially for the first time. She was able to assure my DH that what I was saying and doing was pretty normal.

As for how he acted, I don't especially remember. I think he was fairly flustered at times with both my labors, just from having to deal with all the details that come with a hospital birth. That, and he had to physically withstand my grabbing his hands and arms during pushing, hee hee.

anna7602 · March 2012

DH was enviably cool as a cucumber. Seriously. He ran into some of our neighbors when he went out to get food while I was laboring and they were shocked to find out later that I had the baby that day. Apparently, he just said hi to them and made normal chit-chat about the weather as usual.

hannahbagels · March 2012

DH doesn't like seeing me in pain and with DS1's birth I was very snippy and rude, so he didnt want to me involved in either birth experience. Unfortunately my MW didn't get to DS1's birth until 5 mins before he was born (due to miscommunication) and to DS2's birth until 15 mins after he was born (due to super fast labor and denial on my part lol) so DH had to be involved and he did fantastic. He says he was scared but He handled both situations cool and collected.

Yeah I don't think he's going to let me have anymore kids

Tash13 · March 2012

My DH was seriously amazing. He rubbed my back for 6 hours with very little break on almost no sleep. He coached me through, told me he was proud of me, etc. I think every man is very different. My bff's husband freaked out, didn't know how to be there for her emotionally, and ultimately was a horrible back-up when her doctor's started suggesting pitocin, epi, etc. He ended up talking her into it more than the doctors did because he was so out of his comfort zone. Every man reacts differently.

WildcatPrincess · March 2012

My birth was pretty quiet and controlled. I ended up not loving the light touch massage while in labor and basically told him to watch TV while I listened to my relaxations. He pretty much sat next to the bed and joked with the MW and nurse until it was time to push, if he was scared at all he definitely didn't let on.

amydawn09 · March 2012

My husband was totally supportive and totally on board. He was, after all, the one who first asked me to research homebirths. During the two births that he was home for, he was right in there, involved and helping me with whatever I "demanded" (LOL!). During my second birth, he was deployed, so the midwives were more involved and helping to comfort me in his place. Although my husband doesn't like seeing me in pain and feels bad for the discomfort that I'm in, he is absolutely all about normal, natural, childbirth.

pinksweetpea2 · March 2012

He was fine. He knew I did my research and we talked about what to expect. He also fully trusted our team of MWs who did everything they could to include him in my prenatal apts. and then in the process at the birth. I really believe they empowered him to be a better support person.

People in our culture are trained over and over to fear birth, but you can overcome anything with a little bit of education and support. ::shrugs::

andkatiesays · March 2012

I've had three natural births (1 birth center and 2 at home) and DH as usual was totally calm and collected. He was there for me when I needed it and was able to get everything set up and perfect. I am a pretty quiet and calm birther but even if there was a bit of chaos, I think he would have handled it just as well. He's just a totally laid back guy. I can't wait to do it again!

iris427 · March 2012

My husband wasn't scared because he had already supported me through a hellish induction that ended in a cesarean. My med-free birth was nothing compared to that.

AmyRI · March 2012

DH was great. He slept through more than a third of my labor - I woke up to ctx at 12:30am and didn't get him up until 4. He was amazing the whole time as far as supporting me. He is very squeamish and swore he wanted to just stay by my head and encourage me, but he ended up holding one leg and watching it all and was fine. After I delivered him, he was just sort of shocked at how fast everything happened, but he was really great. (total labor was less than 8 hours).

His reaction looking back is that I made giving birth look easy, and that I made him sad when at one point I told him not to touch me (I was in transition and didn't want anyone touching me!).

MawrtyrB · March 2012

DH didn't handle the first one so well. He literally hid behind my bed for most of the worst. He was much much better for the second 2, plus I was in more control of myself, so that helped alot.

whitney1170 · March 2012

He was amazing. MIL kept saying he would pass out, but she's overly dramatic so I think she was stirring a pot.

He wanted a NB as much as I did, so he knew I would be in pain. Knowing that the pain will end, and the end result is amazing is what separates that in his head from any other kinds of bad pain. Plus, he's not overly sympathetic so he wasn't that concerned lol. His eye was on the prize. He rubbed my back and literally stayed with me the entire time except 5 mins to get a sandwich. I know he was exhausted. He's already planning the second NB!

SHeins · March 2012

Mine was amazing. The first time around, I labored at home for about seven hours before saying it was time to go to the hospital. He asked if he had time to shower first. Smile I said yes because he was really sweaty from working outside. When I was going through transition, my nurse kept asking if I wanted the epi and I finally got to a point where I told him that I couldnt make that decision right now, he needed to. And he talked me through it and told the nurse that I didnt need it.

The second time around, I had to be induced and was on the toilet when I realized I was in full blown labor. He helped me back to bed, called the nurse and got right up in my face and got my breathing under control. He was a rock star.

He's trained in emergency childbirth (he's a lieutenant on our volunteer fire department, he teaches the medical training) so I figure I'm in the best possible hands. Big Smile

VABride2008 · March 2012

He handled it very well both times. He just stepped up to the plate and did anything he could to help me. It was a great bonding experience. While it was hard for him to see me in pain and not be able to do anything to truly help, just having his support meant a lot to me.

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