Let's be honest here (Lifting older child post partum)

hannahbagels · March 2012

After #2 was born, did you actually not pick up #1? If you didn't, how long did you keep that up for? If you did, how often did you pick #1 up?

I pick DS1 up maybe once or twice a day because he is such a mommy's boy or because I need to get him away from something. Yesterday I had a friend over and she strongly reprimanded me for picking up my crying 16 month old (he had just woken from a nap and was too scared to leave his bed because of the guests he didn't recognize). I understand why you're not supposed to so I try not to, but even so it's my body, my decision. And if it meant that much to her why didnt she offer to help instead of stay seated on the couch.

Yeah I'm a little annoyed haha and just wondering if I'm the only one that doesnt follow that direction.

MammaBear81 · March 2012

I was fortunate that my MIL took the older kids (each time I had a baby) for a few days after I gave birth, but the second they came home it was "back to normal" I remember that I picked up DS2 a lot when DD1 was born because he had PT issues and wasn't able to walk yet. I know you aren't supposed to pick them up, I wasn't really in pain so I did it (I'm not saying that's a GOOD reason, but that is why). I mean, how are you supposed to get them in and out of their crib?

sosoph · March 2012

Is this because of a c-section, or in general (and if so, why not)?

isacdimi10 · March 2012

After I got home I went 5 days without picking DD up because I was either home with DH or at my parents.

At day 5 DD wiped out on the linoleum in my parents kitchen and cracked her head off the floor. I wasn't thinking and just scooped her up. It didn't hurt (I wasn't even slow about it) so I didn't care after that.

I do have c-sections so I did really try.

memali26 · March 2012

MammaBear81:
I know you aren't supposed to pick them up, I wasn't really in pain so I did it (I'm not saying that's a GOOD reason, but that is why). I mean, how are you supposed to get them in and out of their crib?

This, especially the bolded. DD1 weighed about 23 lbs when DD2 was born, and I was told not to lift over 10 lbs (vag delivery, no c-section). I had help for the first 24 hours we were home, but after that I had to get DD1 in and out of her crib and booster seat somehow, and for as much of a climber she is she never once climbed into or out of the crib.

WildcatPrincess · March 2012

I've been wondering this because the midwife went on and on one appointment about having DD climb into her carseat, the shopping cart, into bed by herself and I'm thinking there's just no way. She's not a climber to begin with and I'm certainly not going to teach her how to climb out of her crib! Plus I have a half back seat in my truck and with her still RF there's no room for her to climb in, even if she could reach. The last couple weeks I've been limiting how much I carry her or pick her up if she doesn't have to be (it hurts), so I am lifting her less, but I don't see it stopping completely.

WhitePicketFence · March 2012

I was never told by my OB not to do any lifting after having DD2 (I had a VBAC). If someone else was around, I would have them lift DD1 as needed but if I were by myself, well then of course I would pick her up if she needed me to. You just do what you have to do.

g8orell · March 2012

Both were c-sections...I picked DD up the day I got home from hospital (3 days PP)...she was 17m and about 30lbs!! I was fine

kagl08 · March 2012

My son went straight to the NICU after birth and DH and I went right over there with him. So I was forced to not lift my DD for 2 days while we were in the NICU with DS. Once we left him there and came home, I was back to lifting her. I tried really hard to only lift her for bedtime. I monitored my bleeding and gauged that as if I was doing too much.

By day 6 I carried my sleeping DD (13 months at the time) all the way from the car to the NICU (at least a mile). While that's not recommended I was fine. I definitely healed quicker after #2 than #1... And I had episiotomies every time.

celiabwatson · March 2012

I kept lifting him as normal but I didn't carry him around. If he needed to get into his carseat etc I did that with no problem. If he wanted comforting I'd pick him up and go right to the couch to sit with him. If he wanted to get up so he could see I'd get him a stool or his kitchen helper.

hannahbagels · March 2012

Thank you! It's reassuring to know in not the only one who finds the request pretty unreasonable and doesn't follow it.

My friend has post partum healing issues so I understand why it would be so important for her but that's her body's response, not mine..

kcisthebombdotcom · March 2012

I did follow the rules for the first few weeks, but I had a c-section so it's kind of different.

It sounds like what you're doing is fine which is limiting lifting your child. I wouldn't say walk around carrying your toddler all day is ok--just use caution. Lift properly-crouch down and use your legs vs your abdominal area to lift.

jellybeanjean · March 2012

Yeah, I carried my older DS out of the hospital (30lbs) two days after having DS2. I didn't change my interactions with him at all, and didn't have too much help. Into and out of the crib, RF car seat, highchair, bathtub, off and on the changing table, etc. Had no issues at all (though I did have a vaginal delivery).

laura1 · March 2012

I had DD at 7pm, and DS came to the hospital to visit the next morning...and I picked him right up! I had a vaginal delivery and my instructions were no lifting over 25lbs. DS was 23 lbs, so I wasn't even breaking rules! I will say, when I got home I took DS to Target alone on about day 5, and I was in terrible pain with increased bleeding that day. I took it easy for a day, then was better. I may have done a bit too much. But within 2 weeks, when DH was back at work, I was carrying the 2 of them by myself at times. Definitely over the 25 lb limit Smile

shortstuff15 · March 2012

The only day I didn't lift my oldest was when my mom brought her to visit us the morning after having our second. I was like 7 hours past delivery and I wasn't up to lifting and holding my toddler right then. When we came home the next day it was back to normal and I was lifting/carrying/holding everything. But then I've never heard of a don't carry rule unless you have a c-section so it never would have occured to me to not lift her once I was home.

sweetpea2003 · March 2012

I did lift my DD when it was necessary, but DH was home for 2 weeks (so he did most lifting) and I did my best to let her crawl into my lap so it was very few and far between. Plus, my DD (16m when DS was born) was/is a tiny little thing. She was like 18 pounds at 1 year and was probably only about 20 pounds when DS was born. I also had a normal vaginal delivery with no complications.

That being said, I wouldn't flippantly ignore your doctor. There are good reasons that you shouldn't be hauling around your toddler. I have had a few friends hemmorage and need to go back into the hospital for not taking it easy and doing too much too soon. And it goes without saying, you are no good to your toddler or your newborn if you are in the hospital.

sweetpea2003 · March 2012

hannahbagels:

Thank you! It's reassuring to know in not the only one who finds the request pretty unreasonable and doesn't follow it.

My friend has post partum healing issues so I understand why it would be so important for her but that's her body's response, not mine..

No offense, but you have zero idea if you are susceptible to it until it happens to you. It can happen to anyone. Up to 4-6 weeks out, which is why you shouldn't be doing anything (like heavy lifting, exercise) for that long.

I haven't had pp healing issues with either pregnancy, but I did land myself in the hospital with a blood transfusion after a D&C for a miscarrage a few years ago. I started hemmoraging over a week after the proceedure OUT OF THE BLUE.

You are only 8 days post pardum, I would still be trying to take it as easy as possible if I were you.

delg23 · March 2012

Did you have a c-section? I did, and I didn't pick up DS1 for 2 weeks. It was really rough. I had help. If I didn't have a c-section I would have picked him up immediately.

VABride2008 · March 2012

I tried to limit how much I picked DD up. If I had to put her in her high chair I would make sure I was sitting first and I always tried to lift with my legs and not my belly/back. I had a very easy recovery, though.

biblionerd · March 2012

When I get home from the hospital next week, DS will be 11 months and about 26 (at least) pounds. DH will be home for 2 weeks and is going to be on "DS duty" as far as lifting, carrying, putting in crib, etc., but I know that I'll lift him at some point before I'm actually supposed to. My OB's restrictions are no more than the baby and carrier for the first 2 weeks and then 30 lbs after that.