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Natural Birth
Tisharp
member
Missing our little turkey.
Estimated Due Date 11/13/12 | Natural Miscarriage 4/17/12
Is it possible, without a midwife or doula?
Tisharp
member
This is my first pregnancy (my husband's first too. lol) and I don't think we'll be able to afford a doula, and my practice doesn't have midwives. I trust my ob though, and I believe she will be open and honest with me, and that I'll feel comfortable being the same way with her. Anyway, do you feel it's possible to have a natural hospital experience, without a doula or midwife there? Will I still be able to convey what I want and what I don't want while I'm in labor? I hope that's not a dumb question.
Missing our little turkey.
Estimated Due Date 11/13/12 | Natural Miscarriage 4/17/12
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is it possible, without a midwife or doula?
I have had an OB for all three of my pregnancies and no doula for any of them. I think if you can find an OB who is open to NB, you're ok. You dont want to be butting heads with this person in the middle of trying to push out a baby. My husband was on the same page I was, knew what I wanted and what I was comfortable with/ not comfortable with. At one point, I told him I couldnt make the decisions anymore and he took over. That made a huge difference and actually was the reason I didnt end up getting the epi. There's always a little while during transition that I'm not sure of myself and he always steps in and reminds me.
Totally possible. Good luck!!!
With my first birth, I was not able to do it. I didn't do enough research and didn't prepare mentally for it. I didn't last long at all before requesting the epi that ended up not working. That wasn't a fun situation to be in. My OB got there for the last 20 minutes or so of pushing so she couldn't really be a support for me throughout labor.
For this delivery, I had the same OB who I absolutely love. She switched practices and is now on her own and was able to be there for the last 3.5 hours of my labor and delivery. It was great!! She has a very midwife like mindset though and was even going to let me deliver in the tub but I ended up changing my mind and getting out. I also prepared mentally for this birth by reading a ton and hiring a doula. I don't think that I could have done it without the support of my doula, husband, and OB. The nurse really didn't help me much on the natural birth aspect of things and was at times discouraging.
I would say that it would be doable if you didn't have a midwife or doula, but it will be much more difficult. Your DH will have to know the ins and outs of labor and delivery and will have to do just as much research as you do. Your OB will probably not be there for your entire labor and delivery like a doula or a midwife would so the nurse and your DH may be your only support. You may want to try to find a student doula who needs experience. She has already had the training but needs the birth experience. These are sometimes very cheap if not free. You may be surprised in what you can afford.
My MW uses a back up team of OBs (in the event that transfer of care becomes necessary) who are NB friendly, perhaps your network has like-minded practitioners.
I'm in Oklahoma as well. Check out OklahomaBirthNetwork.com if you haven't already and download the provider guide (pdf pamphlet).
My MW has a payment plan and from what I've looked at for new doulas (vs experienced), their rates usually starts at $250. One of my clients had to have a natural birth because they couldn't do the epidural and she was so glad she was able to have a doula come in and help her through it. She said the massage she provided for pain management alone was worth it.
It's great to have someone there to advocate for you. If that isn't possible, research, do your due dillegence, put together a birth plan so that you, your husband and providers are all on the same page.
With my DD (also my first), my DH and I weren't planning on using a doula because of the expense. But, during my third trimester I ended up with a really bad case of food poisoning that put me into pre-term labor. My husband and I were so overwhelmed by all the nurses and doctors throwing out terms and making recommendations we ended up making choices I didn't really want. I was in so much pain, I really couldn't communicate with them or ask questions. Fortunately, they stopped labor and we went home.
After that, we realized we needed someone to help advocate for us during labor - not because we didn't trust our OB - it was just overwhelming in the moment for us should something happen. We did end up hiring a doula and it worked well for us. But, I don't think you have to have a doula - like other posters said your DH may be able to fill this role or a close friend, sibling, parent - just so long as they really understand your desires and will be supportive. I know some other people have also hired doulas in training, so they were only a few hundred dollars versus a thousand.
And like others said, preparing yourself is also key. We took the Bradley Method and it helped both my husband and I recognize the stages of labor and know what to expect, as much as you possibly can for your first baby.
Good luck!
My DH was my support, and prepped himself somewhat for that...and this time I also told him he should be ready to stand up for me if needed (we are in a reg hospital this time, less of a hospital/birthcenter).
When you tour your hospital, and really inquire about whether the nurses are open and supportive of natural births...they made a big difference helping me stick it out through transition (basically just asked me to try and wait another hour) and just generally treating me wonderful and letting me do my thing. My OB was just there the last 20 min, and on the phone with the nurses trying to help support my birth plan.
I second the recommendation about a student doula - often they charge little or nothing because they are trying to build experience.
You can also use an informal doula - is there a close friend or family member who has been through the birth experience (or hasn't, but understands your wishes for your birth) who could play that role for you?
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
Totally possible. I would express your birth experiences wishes with your OB to get his/her feel of it. I would also make a birth plan and go over that with your OB prior to deliver and also bring it with you to the hospital for both your OB and the nursing staff. It may be hard to express yourself during labor but if it's on the birth plan and your DH/SO/support person knows your wishes you'll do fine.
I delivered in a hosptial with a MW, no doula. My MW didn't even arrive until 20 minutes before I gave birth since I got to the hospital so late so I really relied on the nurses.
Missing our little turkey.
Estimated Due Date 11/13/12 | Natural Miscarriage 4/17/12
Many already have websites. Otherwise, look into who does doula training locally and ask for a reference, or sometimes they will have students looking for experience listed on their website.
Yep, I had a great NB in a hospital with a supportive OB and my husband.
The most important thing is to get your birth preferences in writing and go over them with your OB in advance. Have her sign off on them and make sure they're signed and in your chart so that hospital staff can access them. When I checked into the hospital, my L&D nurse as well as the on-call OB who delivered me, had already read my chart and were familiar with what I wanted. I didn't have to do any explaining about what I wanted and that was great!
I agree with this. With DS1 (hospital/physician birth), there were many things I wanted to argue for (different positions when pushing, non-directed pushing, etc) but in the moment, I could not put the words together and it seemed too difficult to talk during my breaks and I ended up going with what they told me to do, which I didn't like. With DS2 I had a homebirth and while I experienced the same difficulty talking (I remember gathering all my strength to whisper to my husband that I needed a drink of water) no one was attempting to tell me what to do or direct me so I never needed to argue. Not everyone experiences this, but in case you do, I would really recommend having a doctor who you trust to respect your wishes, discuss everything thoroughly in advance, and make sure your partner knows your wishes and is prepared to advocate for them.
You can look on the DONA website and ask your hospital (call there) or your OB for suggestions. Often they know a doula that you could call and be honest that you can't afford it, but were looking for a doula in training or a low-cost option. Also some hospitals have rotations of doulas for the hospital time that can be hired just for the birth and you get whomever is on call.
The other option is friends/family. I had my sister and two girlfriends to support DH and I during our first birth and it was invaluable. My DH was very hesitant about having other people there, but after it was over, he said, "How could one guy ever help with a marathon first labor alone?!" He was very happy to have had help and support from our friends/my sister and for the second was happy to have me invite anyone I wanted.
...baby #3 is here...
Hi Tisha, I am a Nov 12 momma as well! I just wanted to tell you that I found a doula who will attend my labor/birth for free. I kind of just got lucky, but I was looking for Bradley Method classes and I also searched for doulas in my area. She is a Bradley Method teacher who is trying to get her doula certification (DONA, I think). Anyway, I just need to pay to take her classes (which I would take anyway) which are $300. She has offered to let me set up a payment plan.
Although I agree with PP that a natural hospital birth is possible without a doula, I want to have a positive experience and not have to fight with everyone in the room. I feel that having a doula there means I will have someone who will be advocating for me in a way I'm not sure my husband could. I hope you are able to find someone you can afford. Good luck!!!
I think it's certainly possible. I would read the book Natural Hospital Birth to prepare. I had two great nurses who were totally on board with natural birth. Can you check into the epidural rates at your hospital? That will be an indication of how many natural births the medical staff sees (and perhaps how willing they will be to go along with yours and not pressure you to change course).
On the other hand, I loved my doula, and she had about 1000x more good ideas and helpful tricks up her sleeve than my husband did. It looks like you are still very early in your pregnancy, which means you have lots of time to plan. Maybe you can request money for a doula as a baby shower gift, or look into getting a student doula as others have suggested, or maybe even figure out which of your own friends has done a natural birth and could be there to support you. Good luck!