The housekeeping post really upset me.

FaithRocks · March 2012

I just wanted to say that the posts below make me feel TOTALLY inadequate. I realize that it is not anyone's fault so I am not blaming anyone. I just feel like I can hardly keep up with everything - I do laundry EVERY day and I can't clean while the kids are awake because they just throw everything all over the place (Trig is pretty good about it but Grayson makes a HUGE mess). So guess what, things don't get cleaned up all the time.

Even the post below where people admitted to not being perfect made me feel awful because everyone said "I'm not good at this but I AM good at this". I feel like I am not good at anything right now except keeping things relatively together. And it's not because I'm not trying because I am constantly working - like I said, I can't do anything when the kids are awake so I have naptime to constantly run around and do what I can. And when the kids go to sleep, I'm working.

How does anyone have time to read, sew, scrapbook, etc? And bump even? I keep asking myself, WHAT am I doing wrong here?

Mouseygail · March 2012

There were people that felt the same way that you do! And I guarantee there are a lot more who didn't have time to read it, or didn't want to respond because they are in the same boat as you! be kind to yourself! you've got two small kids and a whole lot on your plate!

FaithRocks · March 2012

I should mention that DH is no help because he is always working. So I am in charge of all finances, all of Trig's medical situations, anything and everything that goes on in my house.

regenab · March 2012

When my girls were younger (under 3) I could only clean when they were asleep as well. Age 2 was horrible in this house, if I turned my back on them for a second they were either breaking something or throwing each other to the ground fighting and pulling hair. So some days the cleaning just didn't get done. I needed nap time to recover from dealing with them all morning. So don't beat yourself up about it, you are doing what needs to be done to survive at this point. As long as your kids have clean clothes and are eating and you are bathing them regularly you are doing better than a lot of Mom's out there (one of my good friends is a DCF case worker and she tells me this all the time, she sees some horrible household situations).

Now that the girls are 3 1/2, they don't nap anymore, but I am able to get an hour or 2 of cleaning a day (not all at the same time, but a half hour here and there) so I can keep up. But I am by no means scrapbooking or sewing. I haven't read a book since they were newborns (which was Happyiest Baby on the Block). I bump while they are having a snack or doing playdough. I break up my cleaning by days and I don't usually spend more than 15-20 min. on a task. That is the only way I can keep up. I would not say my house is sparkling, but it is company ready most times, not all the time, but I could wipe everything down pretty quickly if someone is coming over.

Remember you do what you can do and don't worry about the rest. Things will get easier when both kids are a little older. In the Fall my kids start voluntary pre kindergarten 5 mornings a week and I am hoping at that time to be able to finally sit down and work on putting their baby books together. I have been collecting the stuff but have never had the time to work on them. Counting down the days until August 20th (first day of school).

CardsfanSM · March 2012

I'm totally in your shoes. If it weren't for a friend that comes to help with babies a few days a week, who also helps with our laundry, we would all be naked. I just couldn't possibly get to it. I manage to take a disinfecting cloth to the bathroom when Sophie is in the tub. Our bed hasn't been made in weeks, actually probably months.

I LOVE to sew, and read. I opened my first book a few weeks ago, after MONTHS of not reading, and I still haven't finished it. Sewing? Please, that is not even in the distant future.

Try not to feel bad. I keep telling myself this is really just a small moment in time, and things will change/evolve.

ESTH2000 · March 2012

Mouseygail:
There were people that felt the same way that you do! And I guarantee there are a lot more who didn't have time to read it, or didn't want to respond because they are in the same boat as you! be kind to yourself! you've got two small kids and a whole lot on your plate!

This is me!! I didn't respond because I felt like you!!! At the end of it all, I end up choosing to spend quality time with DD over house chores. Now I am a germophobe, so I do clean/sanitize in that sense like a mad woman but the clutter is unbelievable...clean dishes, clothes and toys everywhere.

I don't get home from till 7pm on most days, so the weekends are just too precious. I have to use my free time to plan meals that usually never got done but I try. I am in charge of finances and do that at work..I also nest at work Embarrassed

The worse part is that DH does help because he is home more than I am. We just hired a cleaning lady for every two weeks and it helped a bit but the laundry baskets are still full of clean clothes.

If it makes you feel better, I only have one child!!!!

marcuej · March 2012

You aren't alone! I have 2 little ones and they are messy!!

I was at my wits end about a month ago. I felt like I couldn't keep up with anything!

I felt like ALL I did was laundry...all the time! I got fed up and finally bought a high efficiency/high capacity washer and dryer. Seriously changed my life! It's Friday and I'm already caught up with laundry for the weekend.

I also hired a new cleaning company to come twice a month. HUGE improvement in my house!

We cut back on other expenses (canceled cable, don't eat out as much, etc) to cover these items. Soooo worth it to me! I feel much more sane now.

howleyshell · March 2012

Sister, you are NOT alone.

When mine were the ages yours are now I was drowning in clutter and chaos and was totally ashamed and didn't want any friends to ever come over because the house was NEVER presentable.

FWIW - it all gets so much easier as they get older.

You never get this time back.

Cut yourself a break.

Hug those babies.

MonkeysGirl05 · March 2012

I didn't read the post below because I've been traveling for work. I can tell you that, while my house is usually, kinda-sorta picked up, it is dirty all the time. I find it hard to vaccum, dust, keep up with dishes... you name it! Disinfecting wipes are my best friend, as that is the closest thing to clean that my bathrooms get. My floors are gross... I have a dog and live in a rural area, which means everyone is constatntly tracking in dirt. It isn't just you. Trust me.

PS - what is reading, sewing, and scrapbooking? Who has time for that?

Cajun_gal · March 2012

The ONLY reason I'm able to get anything accomplished craft-wise is because we have a cleaning crew come every other week and my husband handles the dishes. I work full time, and I just can't do it all. There's no way! If I was a SAHM I'd be in the same boat because it's so difficult to get anything done with the boys are up. Give yourself a break and know that probably the majority of parents with young children (even more so that you have one that has lots of medical appointments, etc) are in the same boat as you. Not everyone has it all together, even if it appears that way. At least I tell myself that and my very good mom friend that appears to always have it all together tells me this. Hugs to you! You're doing great!

dusk42 · March 2012

howleyshell:
Sister, you are NOT alone.
When mine were the ages yours are now I was drowning in clutter and chaos and was totally ashamed and didn't want any friends to ever come over because the house was NEVER presentable.
FWIW - it all gets so much easier as they get older.
You never get this time back.
Cut yourself a break.
Hug those babies.

Howley should seriously be a mom counselor - best response ever.

CHI-06 · March 2012

I didn't read the post you are referring to... but if you could come to my house you would feel better! Our house is NEVER picked up. We both work full time and actually hired a cleaning lady once a month...even the day she comes by the time I get home the house already is a mess...maybe dust free but messy! I do have friends with little kids that seem to keep their house cleaner...but I choose to spend my time with my kids playing in the evenings instead of cleaning. All that gets done is cleaning up the kitchen once a day after the kids are in bed. Oh and I do laundry constantly. We also got the high efficiency ones and can get more done faster now...but it is still never ending... My husband is also ALWAYS working and it is all on me. I have just come to terms with a messy house and a laundry room that is always full...and we get dressed out of laundry baskets alot. But whatever... we are all happy and I know in a few years things will change too.

JillRock96 · March 2012

(((HUGS))) Cut yourself some slack, honey! I can't imagine doing all that you do without much help at all. If your babies are cared for (which of course they are), then you're doing a fantastic job.

LucyPevensie · March 2012

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

Hang out the washing, make up the bed,

Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,

Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew

And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo

But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo

Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?

Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow

But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

beebe929 · March 2012

JillRock96:
(((HUGS))) Cut yourself some slack, honey! I can't imagine doing all that you do without much help at all. If your babies are cared for (which of course they are), then you're doing a fantastic job.

This!

Hang in there, don't be judged!

beebe929 · March 2012

LucyPevensie:

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

Hang out the washing, make up the bed,

Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,

Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew

And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo

But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo

Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?

Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow

But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

wow so sweet

hopecounts · March 2012

LucyPevensie:

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

Hang out the washing, make up the bed,

Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,

Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew

And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo

But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo

Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?

Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow

But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

I have this on my fridge ;-)

It's so true, do what you can but your job is raising your boys as long as they're feed, clothed, and happy let the house go if you have to.

armywife76 · March 2012

dusk42:
howleyshell:
Sister, you are NOT alone.
When mine were the ages yours are now I was drowning in clutter and chaos and was totally ashamed and didn't want any friends to ever come over because the house was NEVER presentable.
FWIW - it all gets so much easier as they get older.
You never get this time back.
Cut yourself a break.
Hug those babies.

Howley should seriously be a mom counselor - best response ever.

My thoughts exactly! Everything else can wait. I keep thinking of the day they'll be too big to hold my hand, and it kinda refocuses everything. Although, FR, I know what it's like to have a DH with a demanding, all-consuming-at-times job, and it does take a toll, so ((hugs)) to you.

ardilla · March 2012

dusk42:
howleyshell:
Sister, you are NOT alone.
When mine were the ages yours are now I was drowning in clutter and chaos and was totally ashamed and didn't want any friends to ever come over because the house was NEVER presentable.
FWIW - it all gets so much easier as they get older.
You never get this time back.
Cut yourself a break.
Hug those babies.

Howley should seriously be a mom counselor - best response ever.

This! I also didn't reply in the other post because our clutter and messiness is out of control. DH and I both work FT and by the time we get home, dinner finished, kids bathed and in bed, we don't feel like tackling the mess! I guess if I had to pick something I keep up with, it is the laundry. Notice I didn't say the ironing.....

GuitaristsGirl · March 2012

Honestly, since SAHing, my house is dirtier, and I'm happier, than I have been since before we started TTC!

(And we don't have the budget for a cleaning lady anymore - it's just not an option for everyone!)

You totally have to find what works for your family and what makes everyone happiest and most peaceful and come to terms with it.

I believe that a LOT has to do with the ages and temperaments of the kids. And also the house! My kids are nuts and have to be contained or constantly supervised lest the kill themselves - and my house Is small with one living/ play area, a closed-off kitchen, and no storage! This time of chaos is fleeting - as is all the fun we have making the mess . ((Hugs))!!

dundasgirl · March 2012

Faith...don't be upset! Every one of us has our own unique situations. My kids are 2.5 and 3.5 now. I can put away laundry while they are playing upstairs. I can clean the bathroom while they are in the bath without worrying they will drown if I am not watching them like a hawk. As long as I am in the bathroom I feel like they are fine. Six months ago it wasn't this easy...And I still have bad days. Especially when my DH is away for work. We eat freezer meals and I don't bath them as often, etc.

Sewing, and crafting are my hobbies and my "work". I sell the things I make to supplement our income. I do these things while my DH watches the kids on the weekend or at night after they are both sleeping. Your DH works all the time. You are doing your best and your best is awesome.

The boys are lucky to have such a loving, attentive Mommy.

RoxBride · March 2012

How to I have time?

I have one kid, and when it comes to sewing and scrapbooking and all that, she works side by side with me.

So keep in mind lots of us have just one child and that makes it easier. Don't be too hard on yourself!

nicolita14w · March 2012

I'm in the same boat. And James doesn't nap anymore so I don't even have naptime to catch up even a little. Sometimes, I am able to unload the dishwasher while they are both in their highchairs/boosters for lunch. Or throw in a load of laundry while James is at preschool and I just have Ben. That's about it. All other cleaning takes place while DH is home or after the kids go to bed, and we're not doing a very good job. You should see some of the dust bunnies under our bed-- they are more like dust cougars.

laura1 · March 2012

I didn't even open that other post - I knew it would depress me Wink

I work part time nights, so I manage to read on the train into work and home. I also will choose to read/bump during nap time and after the kids go to bed. Which means I choose to do those things instead of clean my house. We have a cleaning company come 2x a month, and I pick up well the night before. Other than that, my house is usually cluttered and a mess (right now there is a potty, pack and play filled with toys, and a few trains sitting in front of me on the living room floor and I am ignoring them - when the kids get up, it just gets messy again!). If I know we are having company, I will pick up, obviously.

I will try to throw in laundry during nap, and unload the dishwasher while the kids are eating breakfast, and will pick up the playroom after they go to bed. Although, my 2 nieces came over last night right before bed, and the playroom was a complete disaster...and it still is. It was too overwhelming for me to clean it then! Half the time, I don't see the point in cleaning it up - it just becomes a disaster when we go out there again!

And we moved to this house almost a year ago - and there is still almost nothing on the walls, and our bedroom still has plastic bins with clothing in them. The kids rooms are also only 1/2 decorated. But honestly, I play with the kids - every day we go to a playground, or gymboree or something else. And when they look back in their lives, that is the stuff they will remember - not that their rooms weren't perfect when they were 3 and almost 2!

Cut yourself some slack...I know I do Wink

Dragonfly1226 · March 2012

I am not good at housekeeping. I am a SAHM, but the only time I could clean is during P's nap. Before I can clean I eat my lunch. Then I try to get something done but really I also need some time to sit and regroup before he wakes up too. So there are many days when I choose watching a little television over dusting or scrubbing the kitchen. I would consider our apartment to be clean enough that I am comfortable for P to play on the floor but I would need to do a major overhaul if we were going to have company. Please don't feel bad. You have a ton on your plate! We all do the best we can. (((((hugs)))))

LakeGenevaBride · March 2012

If it makes you feel any better I didn't post b/c I would have had to lie after reading all those other responses. My house is cluttered, and I can't cook to save my life. I'm just trying to stay afloat. I have a cleaning lady come every other week but I don't have time to do much cleaning in between that. I work evenings and weekends so for now I just can't get everything done. Oh well. My kids are happy. When my kids are in school, maybe I'll get to everything. LOL.

MayDayGirl · March 2012

Girl your husband is a resident!!!! Don't think for a second life isnt completely different for those of us who don't have a resident for a husband. Life after residency is a whole new world!!! Your kids are so little and you are alone all the time, you have to cut yourself some slack!!! You are doing awesome!!

itsmyangel · March 2012

don't worry i'm there with you.....some days i feel like i am living in a total dump and just dont even want to come home and deal with it all....i'd rather just take ds and go to the mall or something cuase the house and animals and yard etc its just so overwhelming and daunting...i feel you

sweetpea18 · March 2012

Before we put our house on the market, it was a complete disaster. Not once in awhile or even part of the time. It was a disaster all of the time. It was all I could do to do the laudry and the dishes. We had a "clean clothes" corner of our family room

But you know what? I really didn't care. Dh and I both work full time. Our time with our girls is very limited. The only crafting or reading I do is with them. The housework can wait until tomorrow.

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The housekeeping post really upset me.

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