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Blended Families
Update on SS. Testing....test, test, This is a test.
SS is being tested.
Word from a friend of mine, someone SS is facebook friends with here where we live, is a meth head and her husband is currently in jail serving time for sale and distribution of meth. SS is in fact speaking to her on facebook.
Yes. I checked. Normally, I would not care, but he is in my household and I am keeping tabs.
I told DH what I know but not before I grilled him on who SS is talking to and hanging with when they go out together. DH and SS don't go party much, but they did a little (didn't come home trashed) on St Patrick's Day when DD and I were out with my mom. They also go out every Monday night when DH plays in a pool league. SS chose to stay home thi spast Monday.
DH tells me he and SS talk and DH has told SS that he can NOT F up. If I find out - "and trust me J will" - he is out. DH told me that he's told SS repeatedly how I am not stupid and have a 6th sense about stuff like this. And I do. DH is right. I just know when something is not right with my household and I will find out WTF it is. So yes, i keep an eye on SS's facebook, I have friend keeping a look out, and I am spying on SS. I wouldn't if he didn't have such a crappy record, but I have a 2 year old to think of.
So I think SS is passing the test. I don't care if he's friends on facebook, but he better not hang or associate directly with trash like that. I have done searches of his room. I find nothing indicating drug use and his behavior is normal. His late nights are Playstation sessions. I'm certain it's not drugs.
As long as he stays on course - I'm loosening up on the all nighters. But by god, he better be up at 7 and ready to work without us having to get after him. And after the last talk, he has been. and he works hard.
DH and I give him little room to slack. I know he hates it, but it's good for him. And DH has been paying him more and getting him out more. SS sometimes chooses to work really late, even if he doesn't have to. I admire that.
Today, he mopped my kitchen floor.
So things are good. I just don't let me guard down. We'll see if this continues.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Update on SS. Testing....test, test, This is a test.
Lol - ok Sigir - get out of my head
I think we had the same thought, same moment, very similar post. Yeah, what she said.....
So your DH is passively shifting all of the responsibilty onto you. How easy it must be to be him. You still don't see this as an issue?
SS is scheduled first week in April. He is not considered high risk because I told them how I believed he is not doing drugs, just high risk to start. He has to apply and wait for assistance anyway, so it gives some time for that.
DH and I are scheduled 3rd week in April.
Apparently they is a shortage of counselors and serious need where I am at - so if you are in the business - you could easily find work here.
Karma - I hear you. Just because I didn't pinpoint it in my post, does not mean I don't recognize this as an issue. I've ALWAYS been made out to be the bad guy in these situations with his kids. It's on my list of issues to address in counseling. One thing at a time.
My heart goes out to you reading this post. I'm totally confused by PPers who see it as a step forward.
I just know when something is not right with my household and I will find out WTF it is. So yes, i keep an eye on SS's facebook, I have friend keeping a look out, and I am spying on SS.
This is what living with your SS has driven you to and your DH is placing all the responsibility at your feet.
At this stage of your life you should be living easy, enjoying YOUR life and being a happy mommy to your little DD.
Instead you are ... well reread your post.
It is the same way in my area in regards to counselors. To get a new appt it took forever. When we finally got into see one we made sure to book our appts weekly for three months out. If we didn't we would have to wait two or three weeks, sometimes a month before the next appt and that was just not working.
I agree so much with Karma and Phantom on this. Your life has evolved into you being a full-time snoop that takes the blame b/c your DH still will not step up while you make therapy appointments for your almost 30yo SS. There is not one reason in the worth that this should fall on you instead of your SS, and obviously your DH before you but not when we are dealing with a 30yo.
In another post that I did not reply to you stated about your SD and how if she tries to come between DH and DD you will come down on her like never before. How do you think that will change things? In that post you sounded like you thought you has some type of control over her behavior but you don't, the only person with any control is SD and DH to the extent that he can choose to keep involving you in this mess of a life or he can deal with things on his own, if he allows her to interfere with his relationship with DD that is 100% of him, not his screwed up adult daughter.
And when is SS turning himself in for the charges he skipped town on? How much time is he being given before he has to deal with that?
I hate that I feel like I am attacking you b/c I am not but I hope you can see what the rest of us see, those of us that have been here for all of the drama for so many years just do not see that things are any better than they were before but now you have an innocent child living in the middle of all of this with criminals coming and going.