# of registries to list on invite?

howleyshell · November 2008

My Mommy-to-be has 3 regestries...

1. BRU

2. An online registry for her bedding pieces

3. A registry for her cloth diapers.

She's asking if 3 registries is too much?

Your thoughts and opinions?

TIA

Shell

MoDchiCk · November 2008

I had three too!

Restoration hardware for baby beding but just my mom has that site since she is doing that and layette stuff

BRU for the more commercial stuff

and ?the shop I take yoga at its owned by women and want to support their business ?...mostly organic tools of the trade like food mills and nursing products ; more one of a kind books and wooden toys...

?

Wan-naBe · November 2008

i think 3 is okay, especially as each registry is for different items.

EastCoastBride · November 2008

As 2 are for very specific items, I think this is fine!

RoxyLynn · November 2008

She can register at ten places if she wants and it's fine.

The proper number of registries to list on an invitation is zero. Gift preferences should NEVER be forced on potential guests. If anyone wants to know, they'll ask when they RSVP or look it up online. Anyone who won't take literally 30 seconds to ask doesn't really want to know, anyway.

howleyshell · November 2008

Roxy - thanks for your opinion!

I think that etiquite differs by culture/location.

Since the purpose of a shower is gifts a registry is common place on the inviation.

For a wedding or a birthday party - no way. For a shower.... totally acceptable where I come from.

Erin Mary Ackerman · November 2008

howleyshell:

Roxy - thanks for your opinion!

I think that etiquite differs by culture/location.

Since the purpose of a shower is gifts a registry is common place on the inviation.

For a wedding or a birthday party - no way. For a shower.... totally acceptable where I come from.

The purpose of a shower is to celebrate a woman's transition to motherhood. Gifts are a means to this end. Roxy is correct that registry information does not belong on an invitation.

EastCoastBride · November 2008

Howley- I'm w/ you. Listing the registries is fine. It's a SHOWER. We can play w/ words all we want, but the point of a shower is to shower the mom-to-be w/ gifts.

If we want to talk about 'celebrating the transition to motherhood', then have a "celebration" after the baby is born where people can meet the baby.

But if you have a shower and call it a shower- you're asking for gifts. Just tell the people where the mom is registered to make their lives that much easier!

RoxyLynn · November 2008

I see your point about a shower traditionally being for gifts. But gifts are not necessarily bought from the registry - you can give gifts, and many people do, without any knowledge or interest in where the Mom-to-be might be registered.

An invitation - any invitation - is intended to convey the information that is critical for the guest's attendance. A guest must know for whom the event is held, when, where, and to whom they should RSVP. That's about it.

Basically, by including information in an invitation you're doing two things (even if you truly have the best of intentions by including it). First, you're elevating gift preferences to the same importance as knowing then when & where of the event. Second, you're telling people - who may not even be able to attend - where someone would prefer they spend their money, and on what. That's just never appropriate. The items the new parents need are the new parents' responsibility.

Dan&Maggie · November 2008

I don't think 3 is too many. That's what I have on my invitations.

justgnat · November 2008

RoxyLynn:

I see your point about a shower traditionally being for gifts. But gifts are not necessarily bought from the registry - you can give gifts, and many people do, without any knowledge or interest in where the Mom-to-be might be registered.

An invitation - any invitation - is intended to convey the information that is critical for the guest's attendance. A guest must know for whom the event is held, when, where, and to whom they should RSVP. That's about it.

Basically, by including information in an invitation you're doing two things (even if you truly have the best of intentions by including it). First, you're elevating gift preferences to the same importance as knowing then when & where of the event. Second, you're telling people - who may not even be able to attend - where someone would prefer they spend their money, and on what. That's just never appropriate. The items the new parents need are the new parents' responsibility.

Jeez, you guys take this WAY to seriously. If someone you invite has an issue with how you've presented the information you'd like them to have then SO WHAT? Most of your friends and family will be happy to know where you're registered and if they don't want to buy off the registry, then they won't.

My advice: Do whatever YOU would percieve as OK if you were the one recieving the invite. A list of where someone is registered wouldn't offend me, and if it would offend anyone I sent an invite to, well frankly I wouldn't really want to be friends with anyone THAT uptight and self-righteous.

RoxyLynn · November 2008

justgnat:
My advice: Do whatever YOU would percieve as OK if you were the one recieving the invite. A list of where someone is registered wouldn't offend me, and if it would offend anyone I sent an invite to, well frankly I wouldn't really want to be friends with anyone THAT uptight and self-righteous.

Goodness, aren't we judgy? You can argue with etiquette all you want, but that doesn't stop it from being the right thing to do.

sparky88 · November 2008

I think 3 registries is fine, especially because they are all for different things. I've seen it done many times (almost every shower I've been to, actually).

TUSBride22 · December 2008

Here's some info. I found:

Gift Registry
Q. My mother thinks it's fine to register for baby shower gifts but that it is poor etiquette to include where you are registered on the invitation. She said you should wait for people to ask where you are registered. What do you think?

A. I think busy shoppers will appreciate not having to contact the mom-to-be before making a purchase. In addition, the mom-to-be is more apt to receive exactly what she wants/needs by enclosing registry cards. Most stores provide registry cards that are supposed to be included in shower invitations so that nothing needs to be written on the invitation itself. While your mother was right about how things were perceived in the past, this new millennium comes with a few revisions to what is now acceptable practice.

And Another:

Lastly, if the expectant couple has a gift registry, it's fine to mention it (e.g., "Rebecca has completed a registry at [place]") since a baby shower implies "showering with gifts". However, it is often more tasteful to offer that information when, and if, the guests ask.

Basically, it's up to you, but in this day and age, etiquette states that listing your regsitry info. is fine. A long time ago, baby showers themselves were frowned upon, as they were mainly for soliciting gifts. Obviously times change, as do etiquette rules.

Erin Mary Ackerman · December 2008

TUSBride22:

Here's some info. I found:
Gift Registry
Q. My mother thinks it's fine to register for baby shower gifts but that it is poor etiquette to include where you are registered on the invitation. She said you should wait for people to ask where you are registered. What do you think?
A. I think busy shoppers will appreciate not having to contact the mom-to-be before making a purchase. In addition, the mom-to-be is more apt to receive exactly what she wants/needs by enclosing registry cards. Most stores provide registry cards that are supposed to be included in shower invitations so that nothing needs to be written on the invitation itself. While your mother was right about how things were perceived in the past, this new millennium comes with a few revisions to what is now acceptable practice.

And Another:

Lastly, if the expectant couple has a gift registry, it's fine to mention it (e.g., "Rebecca has completed a registry at [place]") since a baby shower implies "showering with gifts". However, it is often more tasteful to offer that information when, and if, the guests ask.

Basically, it's up to you, but in this day and age, etiquette states that listing your regsitry info. is fine. A long time ago, baby showers themselves were frowned upon, as they were mainly for soliciting gifts. Obviously times change, as do etiquette rules.

I'd bet a million bucks you found this info on a site dedicated to selling something. People w/ a vested interest in you buying something can't be trusted to provide you w/ correct etiquette info.

Emily Post and Miss Manners are two etiquette sources I often cite. The aren't selling anything but etiquette books. The Posts think registry info on a shower invite is ok-not great but acceptable.

Miss Manners is strictly against.

There you have it. And I even cite my sources

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