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I'm really sad at my mother

CheerileeCheerilee member
in Blended Families

I say "sad at" rather than "mad at" because that's the better emotion.  Since I got pregnant, she doesn't seem to care about my SS as much.  She's always asked "how's my grandson", told me to give him hugs, and sent him holiday knick-knacks.  Since we "came out" at Christmas with the news, she's not asked about him once.  I'm thisclose to saying something but I think she's having a "post-partem" relapse and don't want to upset her.  

When she had us, she had 2 girls and 2 boys.  After every boy, she broke down.  She locked us all in closets and pretended she wasn't a mom.  She was hospitalized and we were taken away while she got better.  For some reason, her depression centered around the gender she had.  I don't know if was hormonal or if she had her heart set on girls.  When I told her that we were having a boy (yay!), she seemed down and kept asking if I was OK with that and how I was feeling about it.  I'm ecstatic.  She also tells me it'll be OK even though the stuff isn't as cute and boys aren't as much fun.  

So with this background, do I bring it up or let it go and hope that she's OK when we actually see her in a few months (we live in separate states and see each other a few times a year)?  DH doesn't realize this is happening (I lie and pass on hellos and hugs when I get off the phone) and SS has no clue, either.  He has no concept of talking on the phone or getting holiday gifts.

I hope this made sense!  I'm discombobulated today.   

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"To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue...gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness."
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Re: I'm really sad at my mother

  • MarSamWhitneyMarSamWhitney member
    I'm sad for your mom too. I hope that she can seek some help or something :-(


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  • CheerileeCheerilee member
    She doesn't realize she's sick.  Her behavior is bipolar a LOT (I'm not saying SHE is bipolar - I wouldn't begin to try to diagnose - her behavior is).  When she's down, she awful to everyone around her.  When she's up, she amazing to be around.  I feel bad for my sister who is still at home and her husband who had NO clue what he was getting into.  
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    "To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue...gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness."
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  • dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member

    Your mom sounds a little bit like mine.  She has had some mental health issues and she has never taken any interest in my SO's children.  Unfortunately I don't think there is much you can do.  You might mention it to her but I tried to mention it to my mom on a few occasions and she basically said they aren't her real grandkids. 

    My mom isn't really maternal or family oriented so I don't expect that to change.  It actually caused a lot of strife in my last relationship because my ex and his kids didn't understand why she acted that way. 

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